


I look at you and I dream

by Alithelioness



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Parents, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chef Kim Seokjin | Jin, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Kid Jeon Jungkook, Kid Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Kid Min Yoongi | Suga, Kid Park Jimin (BTS), M/M, Producer Kim Namjoon | RM, Single Parents, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-02-15 19:35:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 47,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18676084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alithelioness/pseuds/Alithelioness
Summary: Single father Kim Namjoon meets widowed father of four Kim Seokjin when their sons become friends on the first day of preschool.Work inspired by BTS's song MIKROKOSMOS.





	1. chapter 1

The main building was surrounded by luscious green landscape there was an ornate water fountain right in front of the entrance, an iron gate separated the school grounds from the outside world, Namjoon was in awe as he drove past it and headed to the parking lot, he parked his white Lexus and undid his seat belt looking at his son through the rear view mirror "this is it Yoongi"

"we made sure our school had the best infrastructure we believe that with a comfortable environment our students can better focus on their academic achievements and-"

"academic achievements? This is a preschool, isn't it?" Namjoon interrupted trying his hardest to walk fast enough to keep up with the fast pace of Ashford academy's principal and slow enough that he wasn't pulling Yoongi's little arm.

"Mister Kim" the clacking of the woman’s expensive heels on the marble floor halted and she turned around to face both father and child "Ashford is so much more than a preschool; we are the first step in preparing your child for a successful future"

Namjoon looked down at his 4-year-old and found him looking down as he shuffled his feet completely entranced by his light up sneakers "then I guess we’re in the right place, right buddy?” the single father sighed resting his hand on his boy's head, this was a very prestigious school, well as prestigious as a preschool could be, they had great security and infrastructure, Ashford academy mostly targeted to the children of the rich and famous, Namjoon didn't consider himself famous but if he could actually afford to put Yoongi in this preschool, well then he's not doing too bad for himself nowadays.

Namjoon didn't want his son to struggle financially as he did in his youth but Kim Namjoon worked hard, harder than any other music producer out there not only because he loved what he did but because he had responsibilities, if paying his college loans wasn't enough motivation to succeed in the music industry, becoming a father at the age of 24 surely was, it was damn hard but giving his son everything he needed, wanted and most importantly deserved was worth it.

“this would be Yoongi’s weekly schedules, we have a wonderful after class program filled with wonderful electives” the principal said handing him the folder, Namjoon opened it quickly went over it “perhaps you would be interested in a foreign language-”

“oh Yoongi is already fluent in English and Korean” Namjoon beamed but the woman seemed unimpressed perhaps because Yoongi had been quiet the whole morning which wasn’t rare for the young child

“right, then perhaps something more artistic” she said typing away in her computer as she finished the process of enrolling her newest student “dance? Cooking? A musical instrument?”

“music?” Yoongi asked in Korean, he rarely spoke unless spoken to these days and when he actually did it was in Korean, it worried Namjoon sometimes how quiet the little boy was he hoped that with some socializing with other children his age this will change

“you’ll get to learn how to play an instrument here, isn’t that great?” he smiled replying in English, his son only gave a small nod showing that he understood perfectly but simply refused to speak in English 

“we look forward to having Yoongi among our students”

“I want to stay with appa” Yoongi said the next morning when his father was struggling to strap him into his car seat as he always did

“I’m sorry buddy” the man sighed “appa has to work, you know this”

“I want to go to work with you” the child pleaded rubbing his eyes “I want to make music like appa”

“You will someday Yoongi but right now you have to go to school” Namjoon explained as he finished fastening him to his booster seat “you’ll have fun; I promise” his son only looked away with an unreadable expression in his face.

when they got to school Yoongi went to class without a complain looking absolutely adorable in his new school uniform and carrying but Namjoon could tell he wasn’t happy at all and he felt guilty, he considering giving into the four-year-old request and taking him to the studio, Yoongi usually just sat there and watched his father work asking questions every now and then and nodding his tiny head to whatever beat Namjoon was working on. Having no one else to watch him while he worked, Namjoon had to bring his son to the studio with him every day, the boy had spent the whole summer surrounded by adults, producers, sound engineers, singers and rappers.

‘He needs this’ Namjoon told himself as he got back in the car ‘we need this’ he thought as he drove to the studio making a pit stop at the coffee shop to get himself a large Caffè Americano and a small Skinny Vanilla Latte for his friend and college Jackson Wang, when he walked into the studio the man was already music blasting from the speakers so he jumped a bit when Namjoon placed his coffee order next to his laptop

“where’s the little man?” Jackson asked when he noticed Namjoon walked in without the tiny boy trailing behind him

“first day of preschool” Namjoon sighed flopping down on his chair

“how was the drop off?” the blonde asked before taking a sip of his coffee, Namjoon only grimaced as he grabbed his own cup “that bad?”

“not really, you know Yoongi” Namjoon answered looking down at his hands “he was not happy about it but he didn’t throw a fit or cry- he was just Yoongi”

“you’re not exactly open with your emotions either Namjoon-ah” his colleague shrugged “the only way to know how you’re truly feeling is looking at your lyrics”

“yes but he’s four” the father countered setting his cup on the table “and he wasn’t like before… before mom-”

“that’s been hard on both of you” Jackson said placing his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder “you’ll be okay, both of you”

“right” Namjoon nodded tensing under the man’s touch and immediately opening his laptop “I-I added a few layers to the drums on the demo we’ve been working on”

“cool” Jackson chuckled removing his hand before the two got to work.

The day went by fast, faster than Namjoon had hoped.  The group he’d been working with was nowhere near done recording their latest song, he was about to ask one of the members to rerecord his line but a quick glance at the watch on his wrist told him that it would be impossible to do today, he quickly excused himself and rushed to pick his son up.

Kim Seokjin was mad, no, he was pissed. He was having a good day until he arrived at school, he was right on time to pick up Hosoek, he walked towards the playground where he knew he would his eldest son, Jimin and Taehyung holding onto each side of Jungkook’s stroller with their tiny hands “where’s Hoseokie? Can you guys see hyung?” Seokjin asked the twins as they neared the area where the older children were playing

“I don’t see hyungie dada” Jimin said looking around trying to spot him

“Hobi hyung!” Taehyung yelled and Seokjin chuckled as a most kids on the playground turned to look at the loud 3 year-old

“here I am Tae!” Hosoek replied just as loud and dashed towards them excitedly

“hi hyungie!” Jimin hugged his older brother tightly

“hi Minie! Hi Kookie! Hi daddy!” the preschooler waved flashed a bright smile

“hyungie, say hi to me!” Taehyung protested stretching his arms requesting, no, demanding a hug from his brother

“hi Tae” the older boy giggled and abides to the toddler’s request

“ready to go my darling boy?” Seokjin asked his eldest with a smile “where’s your backpack?”

“not yet daddy” the twins watched openmouthed as his brother spoke bouncing up and down “Yoongi has it”

“Yoongi?” the father raises an eyebrow, he wasn’t surprised his son had already made a friend on his first day but a friend with Korean sounding name, now that was a surprise

“He’s my best friend! He likes kumamon and banana milk- oh and he speaks Korean too” the boy spoke really fast switching back and forth between English and Korean

“oh that’s great Hoseokie!” Seokjin said genuinely happy for his son

“can he over to play?” the little boy asked

“sure, darling but-” before his father could finish he was already running back to the playground “where are you going?”

“I’ll go get him!” he called over his shoulder

Seokjin chuckled amused as his son pulled a pale black haired little boy in their direction, one hand holding Yoongi’s and the other holding his little kumamon backpack “ready to go daddy!” Hosoek announced and Yoongi’s eyes widened slightly but he didn’t try to pull away

“hi Yoongi” the man smiled kindly addressing his son’s new friend in Korean “I’m Hosoek’s daddy, you can call me Jin and these are Hosoek’s brothers; Jiminie, Taehyungie and Jungkookie”

“hi” the little boy replied and bowed his head politely

“can we go now daddy? I want to show Yoongi my kumamon plushy” Hosoek smiled

“darling, Yoongi needs to ask his for his parents’ permission before he can come over and I would also like to meet them first” Seokjin explained and Hosoek’s smiled began to dim “you guys can play until his parents come and if it’s alright with his parents Yoongi can visit us one of these days”

“oh… okay daddy” Hobi nodded turning to his new friend and offering him a smile “let’s play Yoongi”

“I want to play with hyungie!” Jimin pouted crossing his chubby arms

“me too!” Taehyung said stumping his little feet on the ground

“come on, let’s go play with Yoongi hyung!” Hobi called them

“two hyungs?” Tae asked and Jimin’s pouty lips turned into a little ‘o’ 

“hyung?” Yoongi echoed quietly

“we’re the hyungs so we have to look after them” Hosoek explained as the four of them walked towards the playground, Seokjin could only chuckle at the adorable sight.

“are your parents picking you up soon sweetie?” Seokjin asked half an hour later as he sat on the bench with Jungkook on his lap, the rest of the kids were sitting on the grass happily munching on Seokjin famous homemade granola bars, they had gotten tired of playing a while ago and ran out of fuel, luckily the ever ready father of four had enough snacks to go around in the enormous Givenchy tote bag/ diaper bag he carries around

"I don't know" Yoongi shrugged his narrow shoulders a hint of sadness in his eyes and this right here is the reason Seokjin was so pissed, what type of parent picked up his child this late on their first day of school? even him, with everything he had going on had managed to arrive in time.

the father wonders what would have happened if he hadn't decided to stay for a while, Yoongi wouldn't have been alone of course, there were still teachers and staff members around, the school prided itself in having one of the best security systems available in the market but Seokjin was more worried about the kids emotional well-being. The little one seemed standoffish, shy even, he was soft-spoken and calm the exact opposite of his son but they seemed to get along swimmingly, Yoongi even seemed to like the little ones, Jimin and Taehyung were a lot to handle on a good day but the calm energy of the older boy seemed to somehow tame the twins

"oh well don't worry sweetheart, we'll stay with you until they get here" he reassures the child, Jungkook began squirming on his lap and he decided to allow him to join the others on the ground

"or he could home with us!" Hosoek suggested and Yoongi giggled

"yeah!" Jimin cheered spilling granola crumbs all over himself, Taehyungie nodded his head with enthusiasm opening his mouth to speak but a single raised brow from his father was enough to stop him from speaking with his mouth full

“YA!” Jungkookie had crawled his way to Yoongi’s lap babbled loudly drawing out a laugh from the group.

Namjoon felt awful, he had miscalculated how long the drive from the studio would be and the traffic didn’t help, he wanted to be there as soon as Yoongi came out of his classroom to ask how his day went and see if he made any friends and if his son refused to answer maybe he could ask a teacher but he was late Yoongi didn’t have his appa waiting to pick him up. Namjoon knew small details like this mattered a lot to children, that it could make Yoongi feel neglected or like his dad had forgotten about him, to him this was yet another reason why Kim Namjoon was a terrible father.

Upon arrival he got out of the car jogging towards the mostly deserted playground looking for his son, he followed the sound of voices and stopped dead on his tracks when he saw Yoongi sitting with four other children and actually laughing

“Yoongi?” the rare sight of his little gummy smile was almost enough to distract Namjoon from the death glare he was receiving from the handsome man sitting with the kids, almost.


	2. chapter 2

The man, Yoongi’s father? Older brother? Who knew, Yoongi never said who was picking him up, anyway, the man’s height was the first thing to catch Seokjin’s eyes, then his bleached hair, then his outfit, he was wearing bright pink sweatpants, an oversized black hoodie and some weird looking sandals, after doing a quick scan of the man he settles for asking “are you here to pick up Yoongi?”

“uh yeah I’m his father” the man answered “and you are?”

“I, was keeping him company until you arrived” Seokjin said getting up from the bench and bending over to pick up his youngest and his dipper bag

“I-” the blonde began as he placed Jungkook back in his stroller and threw the bag over his shoulder, the twins had stood up immediately ready to follow their daddy but Hosoek refused to

“it’s time to go home darling” Seokjin said firmly

“but daddy-” Hosoek began protesting

“you can play with Yoongi tomorrow” the father said, his tone leaving no room for arguments “hopefully not till this hour” he said looking down as wrist watch before glancing back at Namjoon “everyone say bye to Yoongi and his father”

“bye Yoongi hyung!” the kids waved their tiny hands even Jungkook clumsily imitated their gestures

“bye sweetie, we’ll see you tomorrow” Seokjin smiled at Yoongi

“bye!” the child said holding back a small smile as he looked down at his hands

“bye Yoongi’s father!” Hosoek said turning back one last time as they headed towards their car, Seokjin looked over his shoulder to see the man just standing watching them leave as Yoongi stood up, put his little black kitty backpack on and grabbed his father’s much larger hand.

When Seokjin got home after running a few errands around town, he made dinner in a rush, the kids stayed in the kitchen as he did, Hosoek and Jimin danced to his selected playlist while Taehyung sat on a stool coloring on the kitchen island with Jungkook toddling around, cooking was as easy as breathing for Seokjin after culinary school and cooking professionally in some of the best restaurants of the world, cooking was a way of relaxing but also his business. Nowadays he owns a few restaurants across the country and is working on publishing his third cookbook, this one focusing more in easy recipes that busy parents could prepare for their children, his publisher assured him this one was guaranteed to be another bestseller, all he has to do now is actually write the godforsaken book.

A simple but healthy home cooked meal was a must in their household so he takes inspiration for his book from the recipes he uses at home but Seokjin is aware that not all parents are Michelin Star Chefs and he actually wants his book to be helpful so he really needs to make sure his recipes can be followed even noob home cooks.

Seokjin still has many emails to send, a lots of phone calls to make and a few texts to answer but dinner time is mandatory family time, everyone sat around the table and ate together, during the dinner the father switched from listening to his kid’s endless chatter to feeding Jungkook and himself to watching amused as the twins tried and failed to use regular chopsticks instead of their training ones.

Hosoek had helped setting the table so he got to pick what story they would read at bedtime, Jimin was the last one to fall asleep, he always got clingy at night and would always end up crawling into Taehyung’s bed or waking up in the middle to search for his father, tonight he chose the first option.

Seokjin got to work, answering the most urgent emails, calling his assistant Jin-Young to go over his weekly schedule and replying to a couple of texts from his friends checking in on him, after a shower, he did one last check on the kids and finally after completing his ridiculously complicated skincare routine and placed the baby monitor on his nightstand, the father let out a sad chuckle remembering how his husband would tease him over how long it took him to get ready for bed, he flopped down on his king sized bed, thinking about Jae Hwan is a little less painful nowadays but still he only allows himself to truly miss him as he turns to stare at the empty space beside him, running his hand over the 1500-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets until he fell asleep.

Yoongi gently pulled on Namjoon’s hand Signaling that he was ready to go home. Namjoon could see the man getting in his black Cadillac Escalade as they walked to the parking lot, the man that had rendered him speechless, he isn't sure exactly what happened all but he couldn’t help but to stare at the man before him, his shiny and perfectly combed black hair framed his big brown eyes perfectly, Namjoon watched his plump pink lips move as he spoke but he can't really remember what he said, the man's overall appearance was as soft as the sweater he was wearing seemed to be, he looked like the type of person that always smells like fresh laundry, the type of person that had every aspect Completely controlled,  judging from the way he handled being in charge of five children at once, Namjoon could barely handle one.

On the way home Namjoon made sure to play Yoongi's favorite playlist and it seemed to keep the child content, he didn't want to push Yoongi to talk to him but he knew they needed to talk eventually so once they were home sitting on the couch of his home studio/ office, pizza box opened in the coffee table before them , Namjoon had promised himself that he would start cooking at least once a day but he felt like the day was already wasted, he had failed as a father anyways, so why not drown his sorrows in greasy pizza? He took his slice and finally dared Speak “Yoongi, I'm sorry I was late today”

“it's okay appa” The boy shrugged “I had fun”

“you did?” Namjoon perks up “you liked school?”

“no” replied before taking a small bite of his pizza and scrunching his nose “We didn't play any music”

“oh well that's- I'm sure you will soon and” the father said unsure of how to proceed

“but I did get to dance” luckily the child continued setting down his slice of pizza

“dance?”

“yeah with Hobi” Yoongi continues and his father shuts up hopping he elaborates “he likes making funny sounds and making up songs, he says he wants to be a dancer when he grows up and dance to the music I make” The child says showing a bit of excitement

“really? That's great buddy” he says giving his child all of his attention

“His Little brothers like music too, even Jungkook and he's just a baby” Yoongi continues and Namjoon’s smile widen as he munches on his food, this is the longest conversation they've had in a while and he’s loving every second of it “Jimin wants to be a dancer too and Taehyungie wants to be a singer- oh and they all speak Korean appa!”

“I'm glad you had a good time” Namjoon says finishing up his slice of pizza and Yoongi nods grabbing a napkin to wipe his mouth “you’re not going to finish your slice? Come on Yoongi, I thought you liked domino’s”

“I’m not hungry” the preschooler says simply and Namjoon sighs

“Yoongi I know you miss halmeoni’s food, appa will try to cook like her but you have to eat something” he tells his son

“I did eat, Jin gave us garnol bras while we were waiting” Yoongi argues and namjoon can only blink in confusion, Jin? Garnol bras?

“what?” he asks and Yoongi sighs just like he did a few moments ago

“Hobi’s appa, he gave us garnol bras, they had little bits of chocolate and they were really yummy” the boy explained

“oh!” Namjoon finally understood what he was talking about “you mean ‘granola bars’”

“that’s what I said” Yoongi says exasperated

“right” his father relents “well that was nice of him”

“yeah he was nice” Yoongi agrees with a tiny smile as he reaches for a bottle of banana milk

Namjoon decides that tomorrow he will thank the man for being nice to his son, he will thank Jin and his kids for putting a smile on Yoongi’s face after a long time. The next day Namjoon wakes up a little earlier than usual, he already blew his chance to make a good first impression but he intends to make up for it, he actually did his hair and picked his outfit carefully, an outfit that says ‘I too am a responsible parent’, which to Namjoon meant a black turtle neck, black skinny jeans, black leather boots and a long dark gray wool coat, those are grownup colors, right? He also went with his moscot lemtosh reading glasses instead of contacts.

His tiny son gave didn’t comment on his appa’s more put together appearance as he walked out of his room towards the bathroom dragging his stuffed kitty with him, Jackson however very much did as soon as he saw him walk through the door after dropping Yoongi off “look at you!”

“stop” Namjoon mumbled already embarrassed

“you didn’t have to dress up for me Namjoon-ah” his fellow producer teased

“please shut up” the man whined as Jackson handed him his coffee this time

“okay but seriously, why are you dressed like an actual adult?” Namjoon stuck out his chin in annoyance but his friend only laughed “where are you going after this?”

“to pick up Yoongi from school” Namjoon mumbled sinking into his seat

“oh! is there a hot single mom or dad that you’re trying to impress?” Jackson grinned

“I don’t know if he’s single” Namjoon blurted out

“but he is hot” his friend stated “it was about time you started dating again-”

“I’m not! im trying to get Yoongi a playdate, I didn’t make a good impression on his friend’s dad yesterday” “all I want is for him to see that im a decent father and to let his son play with Yoongi”

“are you sure that’s all you want Namjoon-ah?” Jackson wiggled his eyebrows suggestively “even fathers have needs”

“I’m begging you, please stop” but Jackson didn’t stop, this went on for the rest of the day until it was time to go pick up Yoongi, Jackson wanted to tag along but Namjoon almost locked him inside the recording booth to stop him, he got to school early enough that he actually had to wait by his car for a while, a few minutes after him a familiar black suv pulled up and parked next to his car.

Seokjin got off the driver seat and went to opened the door for the backseat, the twins were already wiggling in their seats, the chef undid their seatbelts with a sigh, one kid jumped out and then another one “Tae, Jiminie wait for daddy” he called carrying his baby and a huge bag wasn’t convenient when you had toddlers to keep up with, the kids were both giggling as the slightly taller one chased after the smaller one completely ignoring his father

“Jimin!” Seokjin called followed by loud wailing, he rushed in his direction but someone else got him first, Yoongi’s father was kneeling next to crying child, his twin brother stood frozen only a few centimeters away, Seokjin knew that id Jimin didn’t stopped crying soon Taehyung would be joining him soon after

“are you okay? are you hurt?” the man asked but Jiminie only kept crying and holding onto his knee “buddy you need to show me so I can help you, okay? I promise I won’t touch it” he asked rubbing the kid's shoulder, Jimin’s lower lip trembled as removed his tiny hands, Seokjin sighed in relief when he saw it was nothing more than a skinned knee, the other man however didn’t dismiss the injury, he looked up to Seokjin and asked if he had some water and of course Seokjin did.

The father watched entranced as the man patiently talked Jimin into letting him wash his wound, promising it wouldn’t hurt and whispering reassuring words as he cleaned his knee gently but efficiently, when he was done he reached into his back pocket and took out his wallet opening it and pulling out a strip of LINE Friends band aids, Taehyung leaned over the man’s shoulder watching with his mouth opened “here, you can choose your favorite one”

“I want this one” Jimin mumbled as he wiped his drying tears with the back of hand

“great choice, Ryan is my favorite” he gave the child a dimpled smile

“he’s cute” Jiminie nodded appreciably as the man covered the wound with the adhesive bandage

“so are you” the man said gently petting the boy’s soft hair “ready to get up?”

“I want up” Jimin said extending his arms asking to be lifted

“alright buddy” the boy giggled as the man lifted him up over his head before setting him on his right hip

“I’m cute too” Tae quietly protested

“you sure are” the man let out a low chuckle while looking down at the child “you want a band aid too?” Taehyung grinned picking out his own Ryan band aid staring at it completely fascinated by it

“um thank you for that” Seokjin said after clearing his throat

“not big deal, I always hurt myself so I carry around a few extra band aids” the man shrugged and then his eyes widen for a fraction of a second “I mean not always but you know, I’m-”

“I also wanted to say sorry” Seokjin interrupts his rambling and suddenly he realizing that they’re still standing in the middle of a parking lot, he gestures towards the main building “I was very rude to you yesterday”

“no, no I actually wanted to thank you for staying with Yoongi” Seokjin knows better than anyone that Jimin holds on like a koala holds onto a tree, so he’s not surprised the man doesn’t even try to put the child down, he just takes Taehyung’s hand before following “he had a great time”

“oh so did we, I was just worried and when I’m worried I tend to nag and- anyway im sorry can we star over? I didn’t even introduce myself” Seokjin smiles slightly bouncing Jungkookie in his arms “I’m Kim Seokjin”

“I’m Kim Namjoon” the man stared right at him, eye contact was Seokjin’s strong suit, he had even looked at the president in the eye as the commander in chief tasted his food, Seokjin was that confident… usually.

“it’s nice to meeting you Namjoon-ssi” he replied and as Namjoon now directed one of his dimpled smiles towards him, Seokjin felt the need to look away, why? He wasn’t sure.


	3. Chapter 3

Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin were upstairs napping, luckily the house was big enough that they wouldn’t hear Hosoek throwing a tantrum in the family room, Seokjin had intended to work while the kids napped, his security system announced his assistant’s arrival at the front gate but his eldest refused to sleep asking to keep watching television even after his screen time had ran out “but daddy I don’t want to take a nap!” the child said raising his voice and stumping his feet

“Hobi, I know you’re upset but screaming it’s not okay” Seokjin said kneeling down, gently cupping his son’s face and wiping his tears “why don’t you want to take a nap?”

“naps are for babies and I’m not a baby” the child pouted lowering his volume considerably “Yoongi hyung doesn’t take naps, he’s a big boy”

“naps are not just for babies, naps are for anyone who’s tired” Seokjin explained calmly despite his own frustrations building up, today was one of those days, the twins each took their turn to throw a fit of their own this morning and now it was Hosoek’s turn “you can nap and still be a big boy, okay?” the child nodded his head as his father pulled him closer “are you tired?”

“no” he mumbled melting into his father’s embrace

“okay then you don’t have to nap” Seokjin told him as the front as the security system beeped and the front door opened “you can come to the kitchen and color while daddy and works”

“okay” the child relented refusing to let go of his dad even as Jin-Young walked into the family room

“hey boss, weird seeing you outside the kitchen” the assistant greeted already wearing a pair of the white puma slippers Seokjin kept on the shoe rack by the front door “bad time?”

“everything’s okay now, right Hobi?” Seokjin said rubbing Hosoek’s back, the boy nodded before looking at Jin-Young “he’s joining our meeting today”

“hi uncle” he waved rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand as his father pulled away from the hug

“hey sunshine boy, how’s school?” the younger man asked and a smile immediately spread across the child’s face, he told Jin-Young about his classroom, the playground and his teachers as they made their way to the kitchen. Seokjin went to fetch a color book and crayons while he rambled to the man about his best friend, the father then placed a plate of almond crackle cookies and glass of soy milk in front of Hosoek, to temporarily silence the child so he could get to work.

“your publishing agent called today, again” Jin-Young told him taking the last bite of his cookie “he wants to know how the book is going”

“it’s not” Seokjin grimaced “I feel like my recipes are not simple enough”

“we could test them out” the assistant shrugged reaching for another cookie, Hosoek’s lips turned downwards and pulled the plate closer to himself “if I can make them, anyone can”

“oh please, after working with me for all these years I like to believe you’ve learned a thing or two” Seokjin sighed placing more cookies in a separate plate for the man “I need to try these recipes with someone completely useless in the kitchen… someone like Jackson”

“absolutely not” the assistant said crossing his arms

“why not?”

“you’ll make him cry, chef Jin” was his answer

“that would determine if he’s worthy of being your boyfriend” Seokjin only shrugged

“I won’t let you use my boyfriend as your guinea pig” Jin-Young said grabbing the plate “find your own clueless cook”

“I will, just watch and in the meantime” Seokjin said narrowing his eyes before grinning “you will plan the twin’s birthday party”

“I can do that” the man nodded pulling out his phone

“they want a pirate safari themed party” the father said resting chin on his hand

“of course they do” the assistant sighed typing away on his phone “how do I get a lion to wear an eyepatch?”

“we don’t want anything too extravagant just close family and friends, so I think they’ll settle for a serval” the chef chuckled as the man nodded fighting off a smile “I’ll handle the food, you can invite your precious boyfriend, I promise I’ll be nice”

“I don’t know If believe you but Jackson loves free food, so he’ll be here” Jin-Young went towards the cookie jar and refilled his place while chewing on a cookie

“apparently so do you” Seokjin shook his head with a smile

 “uncle, those are mine!” Hosoek protested, his father patted his hand and promised to make him another batch, he made sure to bring it to school the next day.

After the second day of school, Namjoon and Seokjin would always wait for the kids together, they were pretty much the only parents that actually got out of the car to wait for the kids. Seokjin could do the same but he knew that waiting inside the car when there’s a playground only a few feet away would be basically torture for the twins, well at least now he had someone to talk to other than Jungkook while he the kids play, mostly about their kids.

Namjoon turned out to be quite charming and witty, it shouldn’t be as surprising that he is also very good with kids, the man has a son for crying out loud but Seokjin knows that his kids are a lot to handle but Namjoon seems completely at ease with the toddlers as he allows Jiminie cuddle him and squish his face, talking nonsense to make Taehyung laugh and going along with whatever make belief the child’s spurts out.

He knew now that Yoongi liked the same television shows as his kids, that he was a very picky eater, that loved holding hands and kittens, he was mostly quiet and calm but got really loud and goofy when he was excited. Seokjin was lucky to have seen him like that running around and shrieking with joy while he played with the twins and Hobi or when he made funny faces at Jungkookie

But Seokjin didn’t really know much else about Namjoon, the first time they met the man looked like a broke college student living off ramyum and convenience store kimbap and today he looks like a goddamn ivy league college professor. He didn’t even know what he did for a living, his large hands looked really soft compared to his, years of cooking had covered them with cuts, burns and calluses, he looks like he can’t flip tortillas with his bare hands so, a desk job maybe?

Of course Seokjin could just ask but that would be weird right? Just because their kids were friends it didn’t mean they had to be friends too but they could if they wanted to, right? Making friends as an adult was difficult but he at least had to try.

Of course he had Jin-Young but he was also his boss and most of his friends from his younger years out there living the stereotypical life of a chef, working late nights parting hard, getting drunk on Domaine Leroy Chambertin Grand Cru and smoking like chimneys and thought these potty-mouthed, tattoo-covered chefs were some of the best people Seokjin knew, now at age 30, they didn’t exactly have much in common anymore.

At age 22 Seokjin married his high school sweetheart, both barely starting out on their careers, he can clearly remember the day when he won a Michelin star at Joo Ok, a Korean-style bistro Located in the back alley of swanky Cheongdamdong. He had become the youngest chef ever to be in possession of a Michelin star, at the age of only 24. He was hugging his team in the kitchen when a waiter shouted an order and then got back to work. 

After that having your husband as your publicist and a perfectly sculpted face had helped elevate his career, Jae Hwan or ‘Ken’ as his American clients called him, helped Seokjin get book contracts, get top investors interested in his restaurants. But the most important thing his husband had done was finding the best Adoption lawyer out there and getting their babies home.

Their boys had all had different stories, stories they would hear when they old enough all they needed to know now is that they were loved by both of their fathers, even if Jungkook never got to meet one of them, a car accident had taken his husband the day they were supposed to bring home their youngest.

He buried Jae Hwan with a newborn in arms, Jimin and Taehyung much too young to understand what was going were clingier than ever and Hosoek became irritable began having more tantrums, so with all this going on, Seokjin did what he always did, he got back to work, but this time he made healing his family his full time job.

And here he is now wondering if he should try and become friends with the tall man sitting next to him on that one red bench by the playground where they’ve sat each afternoon for the past week or so.

“oh, I almost forget, Yoongi said he loved the garnol bras” Namjoon offered with a shy smile when Seokjin gave him a confused look he continued “I’m guessing he meant granola bars, we’re still working on his pronunciation”

“oh! garnol bras- that is cutest thing ever” Seokjin rested his hand on his chest and chuckled as he watched the little boy play “I’m glad he liked them”

“yeah, it’s hard to finding things he actually wants to eat” Namjoon told him and sighed “I just wanted to know where you buy them”

“Oh I actually made those, let’s see if he like these cookies-” Seokjin reached into his bag and pulled out small pink plastic container with a smiling panda “take this with you”

“Oh no, I can’t-you made those for your kids” the man raised his hands and shook his head

“Namjoon-ssi, just take them” the slightly shorted man chuckles, Namjoon looked like he wanted to keep arguing but Seokjin just shoved the container in his hands “they’re really easy to make”

“really? I can’t even turn on the stove” the blonde blurted out

“really?” Namjoon laughs nervously when Seokjin raises an eyebrow at him

“yeah… anyways, thanks Seokjin-ssi! They’ll come in handy today, I have to get back to work” his dimples in full display as took the Tupperware

 “you’re taking him to work with you?” he asked and so he took this opportunity to find out more about the man.

“yeah… it’s not ideal but-” Namjoon scratched the back of his head “there’s no one he can stay with and he actually likes the studio”

“studio?” Seokjin asks adjusting Jungkook on his lap as the baby began to nod off

“the recording studio, I’m a music producer” the man replied

“oh” Seokjin simply nodded because what else could he say? Sure he loves singing but knows nothing about music. he’d be ashamed to share his current playlist as it is mainly composed of sappy ballads he enjoys belting out in the shower, the girl group songs he listens to while he cooks at home and of course children songs for the long drives, he has listened to the stylish tomato way too many times. Right as he was thinking of something to say Namjoon’s phone went off.

“oh shoot! I was just picking up Yoongi and I lost track of time-” the man stood up hurriedly then lowered his phone and glared at it as he said “I’ll be there soon, bye

“is running late a common occurrence for you?” Seokjin teased

“I- uh, I’m just-” the man looked flustered “the first day was really a time thing, I’m not-”

“Namjoon-ssi” the chef interrupted with a smile

“yeah?” he asked turning his head to the side

“you have to go” he told him

“right!” the taller man panicked again “Yoongi! Buddy it’s time to go!”  the children stopped chasing each other and turned their attention back to the adults, their shoulders slumped as they made their way back to their fathers.

 “well, thanks again Seokjin-ssi!” Namjoon said as Yoongi was shrugging on his little backpack “I’ll see you all tomorrow!” the man picked up his son and waved to everyone with the pink plastic container in his hand.

“bye!” Seokjin’s kids called when Yoongi waved over Namjoon’s shoulder after he turned, Seokjin let out a soft giggle as he watched the tall man rushing towards the parking lot.

Namjoon was a little late to the studio but most of the time he was the first one there and had to wait for everyone else to arrive so it wasn’t a big deal. After the programed recording session with the artist, the three of them went out to eat well he and Jackson ate but Yoongi refused to take a single bite out of his chili cheese fries.

“so little man, when are you dropping out of school?” Jackson asked Yoongi “we miss you at the studio”

“Jackson stop” Namjoon sighed “Yoongi eat your food”

“but if I don’t go to school then I won’t get to see my friends” Yoongi told the man as he pushed the plate away “I don’t like it, appa” Namjoon rubbed his face but then reached into his bag and pulled out the pink Tupperware

“maybe you’ll like these” the father opened the container and placed it in front of the child “Seokjin-ssi made them, he wanted you to try them”

“Seokjin?” his friend asked leaning over to look at the treats

 “Kim Seokjin? Chef Jin?” Jackson asked

“I don’t know, it’s his friend’s dad” Namjoon explained grabbing a handful of Yoongi’s fries “he’s really nice, he invited us to his kid’s birthday party”

“the twins? Jiminie and Taehyungie?” his fellow producer asked with his mouth full and he nodded “then we’re definitely talking about the same Seokjin, isn’t he the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen?”

“you have a boyfriend” Namjoon scrunched his nose at him

“yeah and those are the exact words he used to describe this man” Jackson said taking a bite of his burger “and he’s right”

“I-I didn’t notice” Namjoon lied, the man’s appearance was impossible to overlook and on top of that he had confirmed his assumptions about the other man about him being kind and gentle and having a soft spot for kids, he’s still not sure about him smelling like fresh laundry he didn’t get close enough to smell him, not that he wanted to… that would be weird. He just seemed like the type of father that was very much involved in his children’s life, the type of father Namjoon wanted to be, Seokjin’s kids were energetic just bordering on hyperactive but adorable, well-adjusted, healthy looking and very polite and most importantly happy all the things he wanted for his own son.

“right, I know you Namjoon-ah!” Jackson laughed out loud “I haven’t seen that look in your face since-”

“so buddy-” Namjoon cuts him off turning to Yoongi, who had been quiet the whole time “did you like the cookies?” the little boy nodded already munching on his second cookie

“can I have one, little man?” Jackson asked extending his arm

“no” said Yoongi and the man pouted

“please?”

“nope, they’re mine” the boy replied dryly

“sharing is caring”

“I don’t care” Yoongi deadpanned biting the last of the cookies

“hey!”  Jackson protested but the child continued eating completely unbothered by the man, it wasn’t the healthiest food but at least he was eating and it was all thanks to Seokjin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need army friends, come talk to me on twitter @Alithelioness


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter today just to show you guys that I haven't giving up on this story, I've just been busy... so here it is!

Jackson had told him that his boyfriend, Jin-young was some sort of celebrity chef assistant but honestly the only chef Namjoon was familiar with was chef Boyardee, he resisted the urge to type ‘Kim Seokjin’ in his google search, well at least until he got home and tucked Yoongi into bed there was laundry to do, dishes to wash and boxes to either unpack or maybe pack, Namjoon haven’t decided yet. So he sat in the living room among his many opened yet unpacked boxes and typed in the man’s mane.

The first result was obviously a Wikipedia article, he clicked it and scanned through it and purposely avoided the ‘personal life’ section simply because it felt like an invasion of privacy and turns out literally everybody and their mother, his mother in this case, knew who Kim Seokjin was. Namjoon got up, eyes scanning the room for a specific unlabeled box, he placed the box on the coffee table and opened it carefully, it still smelled like his mother, the signature smell of gochujang and books made him smile as he grabbed the book he was looking for “keep your kitchen Korean” by Kim Seokjin” the man read the tittle out loud, turning it over to see a picture of Seokjin smiling at him next to a book summary and continued “this book is for those who want to feel at home when they eat no matter where they are” Namjoon smiled softly as he opened the book, on the first page he read “dedicated to my husband and my children, my moon and stars”

“oh” Namjoon blinked once then twice “husband… right, of course” he mumbled to himself and sighed flipping the page to recipe titled “Korean Spicy Fish Stew” the page was bookmarked with a pink post it note with “Yoongi-ah liked it, use less gochujang next time” written in his mother’s handwriting, he flipped the page again and found similar notes scattered throughout the book, Namjoon felt his eyes watered but he decided to blame it on the dust the book had gathered sitting in that box for months, he read the marked the recipes, all of them and fell asleep dreaming of the day that he too would be able to prepare the ones his son liked.

“appa?” Namjoon startled and sat up, Yoongi was standing before him, hair messy but out of his pajamas and dressed in his day clothes

“hey buddy” his father his neck cricking at the sudden motion and uncomfortable sleeping position “you’re up before appa, huh?” it was Saturday morning, early morning and Namjoon had been looking forward to sleeping in and doing absolutely nothing all day but then he remembered he was a single father and that was pretty much impossible

“I want to buy Jiminie and Taehyungie a gift” the boy said

“oh” The twin’s birthday party was today ‘be there at 10, so the kids can play and swim in the pool till their heart’s contempt but dinner will be served at 12" Seokjin had said and said he could text him the address so the two father’s had exchanged phone numbers, Namjoon had so many questions, how fancy should they dress? How many people would be there? What gifts should he get the twins? But he resisted the urge to text Seokjin and pester him with him for answers, surely he had better things to do so Namjoon would have to figure out by himself “right, we can do that” Namjoon nodded

“no but I want to buy it” Yoongi insists

“you got money?” his father asked amused, the little boy reaches into the pocket of his ripped jeans and pulls out a handful of coins and places them in his father’s open palm “wow, three dollars”

“no appa, I know how to count” the little boy argued pulling his Namjoon’s much larger hand towards him and pointing to each coin as he counts “one, two, three, floor-” Namjoon tries to not let out a loud snort

“I know buddy but that’s not how money works, you see-” he begins and Yoongi only scrunches his nose and shakes his head causing Namjoon to let out a laugh “I’ll explain it some other day, alright let’s go get ready for the day” he says smoothing down his son’s tousled locks

“I’m ready to go” the boy says watching his father get up from the couch with crossed arms

“well appa needs some coffee before he is ready to go…” but he wasn’t, Yoongi was wearing black jeans and an NAS t-shirt, getting him ready for a kiddie pool party turned out to be a hassle and a half, Namjoon had to prepare a bag with Yoongi’s swim suit, pororo arm floaties, towels, sunglasses and sunscreen with the highest SPF available before leaving the house and he had to get himself dressed, it was hard to find the perfect casual look, he didn’t want to look like that ‘dad on the 4th of July starter pack’ so he went with a boho look before he could overdo it with the accessories Yoongi was already dragging him away from his mirror and towards the door.

On the way there they had to stop by the toy store to buy the gifts, that didn’t take long at all because Yoongi knew exactly what he wanted to get each of them.

Namjoon and a very pouty Yoongi made it to the other Kim residence only a 5 minutes after 10 but the little boy was clearly upset with their unpunctuality, Seokjin lived in a gated community away from the noise and pollution of the city but not far from the preschool, the guard at the security gate asked for his ID and then stopped at yet another gate

“um hi, its Namjoon and Yoongi” he spoke into the intercom

“hi guys, come on in!” Jin-young answered instead of Seokjin, after a loud buzz the gate before them opened, he couldn’t help but to feel intimidated. Namjoon had dealt with many celebrities before, mostly singers, this was the level of security he would expect from them, not from the sweet looking father of four.

The producer pulled into the driveway and parked his Lexus next to Jackson’s jaguar, Yoongi was already scrambling to get out of his seat as he turned off he engine and immediately climbed off the car as soon as he opened the door.

Shrieks and laughter could be heard from inside the house before the frontdoor of the home flew open and Jackson stumbled out opening his arms wide and yelled “HI WELCOME TO CHILLIES!” Namjoon only had time to snort and shake his head before three little people pushed past Jackson and crowded his son

“hyungie is here!” Jimin wiggled with excitement  

 “Yoongi hyung!” Hosoek jumped up and down as he hugged his friend

 “hyung we have cake!” Taehyung gushed pulling Yoongi’s arm

“alright! That’s enough” Seokjin called appearing in all of his pink apron clad glory behind Jackson with Jungkook in arms “that is not how we greet our guests”

“I told you guys” Jackson mumbled and shook his head taking the baby from Seokjin and planting a kiss on his chubby cheek

“Hello, welcome to our home” the man bowed, his kids imitated his father’s gesture perfectly “thank you for coming”

“thank you for inviting us” Namjoon bowed right back

“please, come inside” Seokjin said before his kids began pulling Yoongi inside the house, Jackson moved out of the way but stayed by the door only to elbow Namjoon and wiggle his eyebrows at him and if he wasn’t carrying a baby at the moment Namjoon would’ve punched him “you’re just in time, the kids were about to get in the pool and I’m almost done with the food” the chef called over his shoulder as he lead them through the foyer “you guys can go ahead to the backyard and I’ll join you in a few”

“I- we brought gifts” Namjoon mumbled but as as soon as he showed up the brunette disappeared back to the kitchen he assumed, the kids and Jackson nowhere to be seen, things seemed to move ten times faster in this home

“I’ll take those” Jin-young appeared instead with a beaming smile “glad you guys could make it”

“yeah… Yoongi wouldn’t miss it for the world” Namjoon returned the smile handing over the gifts

“I’m sure both of you will enjoy today, come on” his friend’s boyfriend leads him to the spacious backyard, everyone else but Seokjin was already waiting for them by the pool house.

The gifts were placed in the table, drinks were poured and the kids (Jackson included) were splashing on the shallow end of the pool, Jungkook sat and Namjoon’s lap drinking banana milk from his zippy cup and giggling every now and then as he watched the others from the distance “I thought there would be more guests attending” Namjoon commented

“they’re turning two, they don’t know many A-listers yet” Jin-young chuckled and then sighed “Seokjin used to throw much bigger parties, Hobi’s first birthday cake was taller than me but things are… different now”

 “oh? Right… Well the kids seem to be having fun” Namjoon said just as Jungkook let out a fit of giggles as the older kids competed for who could create the biggest splash “he’s missing out”

“I’m sure he’ll be done soon” the assistant told him

“he’s cooking all by himself?” the producer asked and got a nod in response “doesn’t he need any help?”  

“I don’t know; maybe you should ask him” Jin-young said standing up and stretching, Namjoon felt a little stupid after the question left his lips, Seokjin was a chef of course he doesn’t need any help

“uh- no, I’m a terrible cook, I’m sure he-”

“maybe he needs help carrying stuff” the man shrugged

“I’m pretty sure Jackson told you but I’m the clumsiest man in the world-” Namjoon laughed despite himself

“then just keep each other company, I’m taking this little bunny for swim” Jin-young said opening his arms at the baby “the kitchen is the big door down the hall!”


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 

The kitchen door opened slowly, Seokjin lifted his gaze but didn't stop chopping the green onions, his eyes met Namjoon as the taller man entered the room hesitantly

"Namjoon-ssi, something happened? are the kids okay?”

"everything fine, the kids are having a blast” the blonde explained looking around the massive kitchen "I just wanted to see if you needed any help"

"you cook?" the chef asked lifting the cutting board with one hand and scraping the onions into a bowl with the back of his knife with the other

"I'm not as good as you, obviously-"

"obviously-" Seokjin smiled setting his knife and cutting board down

"but I can boil water for ramyum-"

"wow" Seokjin exclaimed as Namjoon approached him

"I can also microwave instant rice " the producer shrugged

"very impressive" the brunette nodded leaning on the counter

"I know" Namjoon displayed his dimples crossing his arms

"well I'm pretty much done here” Seokjin told him as le looked around at the impressively large layout of food "I just have to grill the meat but I'm doing that outside"

“bulgogi?"

"oh no, no, no" the chef said lifting the tray of meat "samgyeopsal is the way to go"

“it smells like home in here” Namjoon inhales taking the tray from Seokjin’s hand

"I went all out, today is a special occasion so I even made miyeok guk" the brunette beamed

"I haven't eaten homemade Korean food since-" Namjoon cuts himself off and is quick to correct himself "I haven't eaten it in a while"

“I want the kids eat the same foods I grew up eating but I didn’t know if Yoongi would like it so I made some mac and cheese and I think I might have frozen chicken nuggets” the chef tells him lifting the lid of a pot

“American food? He’s not a fan” Namjoon chuckles “I mean I’ve tried to get him to try stuff and he just says ‘I don’t think I can handle it appa’”

“well I don’t blame him, their food is way too salty” Seokjin says putting the lid back on

“Yoongi doesn’t eat very many foods... he likes rice” the producer shrugged and watched as the other man grabbed a rice ladle

“I think he’ll fit in just right in this house” Seokjin chucked ladling the steaming rice into a bowl from a pink Cuckoo rice cooker

"do you miss it sometimes? Korea I mean” Namjoon asked “You said you lived there most of your life”

“yeah, I don’t know” Seokjin paused, standing still since the first time Namjoon entered the kitchen “I go back from time to time for work but I built my home here, I would never move back there”

“right, I moved here when I was ten and I went back when I was in college” Namjoon nodded “when I was there I felt like I wasn’t Korean enough-”

“-and when you’re here, you feel like you’re not American enough?” the brunette asked turning his head to the side

“exactly!”

“if it helps, I thought you were very American, specially your accent” Seokjin said with a smile and then grimaced and gestured for Namjoon to follow him out of the kitchen “I’m still working on mine, you know?”

“then maybe we should switch back to English, you know?” the taller man said in English making the other laugh as they walked down the hall with their hands full

“the kids can learn proper English at school” Seokjin shrugged “but only I can teach them the real Korean”

“right, only you can teach them the newest slang” Namjoon nodded with a grin making Seokjin laugh even lauder “everything the cool kids are saying these days”

“okay first of all, I was never one of the cool kids” the chef said standing by the glass door

“yeah, neither was I” Namjoon chuckles

“I can see that” Seokjin teases playfully “your friends with Jackson, so deep down inside you must be a dork”

“you got a point there” the other man nods “but he’s your friend too so-” both Namjoon and Seokjin’s laugh stopped when someone slid open the glass door

"hey! I heard that!" Jackson protested "also we're starving here, can you two hurry?"

"Jackson grab a towel you're dripping on my clean floor, food will be ready in five, you can help the kids set the table" The chef said walking past Jackson swiftly and towards the outdoor grill

"where should I put this?" Namjoon asked from behind

"just leave it here, thanks Namjoon-ssi" Seokjin said gesturing towards the table "just grab a drink and relax"

"How come he doesn't have to help set the table?" Jackson asked and grabbed the towel Jin-Young handed to him

"he's our guest" Seokjin explained but didn't bother to look at the other men, he simply kept working on the grill

“I’m a guest too” Jackson says as he grabs a stack of plates

“you’re here often enough to not be considered one anymore”

“Maybe you should do the same Namjoon-ah” Jackson says elbowing his fellow friend and colleague “and not just for the pool and the free food” the chef then decides to turn around but only to arch an eyebrow at him while Namjoon scratches the back of his head

“he means for the book-” Jin-young chimes in, shifting Jungkook in his arms nervously 

“yeah, the book!” Jackson beams nodding his head

“right” Seokjin turning his attention towards the grill once again

"what book?" at Namjoon's question

"he needs to make sure his recipes are actually foolproof, so he needs an actual fool to try them" Jackson replies before the chef could even open his mouth

"Namjoon-ssi is the perfect guy for that job!" Jin-young says beaming, his boss can only cross his arms and let out a sigh as the assistant’s boyfriend lets out a loud snort "sorry I didn't mean- I mean you can't cook, right? You're also a busy parent and yeah-" Jin-young quickly apologizes shifting Jungkook in his arms nervously  as Namjoon stares at him in pensive silence

"Namjoon-ssi I apologize, you don't have to-" Seokjin stepped in and took his baby from the young assistant

"well if you could actually teach me how to cook a thing or two that would be amazing" Namjoon tells him with a smile growing in his face

"so you'd do it?" Jin-young asks pulling out his phone and going straight into work mode as the single father nods and the children come running towards them "Of course we have to call the publisher first and we'd have to draft a contract but you'd be credited in the book and compensated for your time-"

"daddy!" Taehyung stumps his little foot interrupting the adults successfully

"we're hungry!" Jimin whines, soaking his father’s clothes as he hugs his legs

"we want food!" Hosoek tells his caregiver crossing his arms

“we can discuss the details later” Seokjin running his fingers through Jimin’s wet hair

“sure” the producer nods before turning to his own son and wrapping a towel around him "hey buddy, you hungry too?” Yoongi remains quiet and as his father picks him up he looks at the food with wide eyes" looks good doesn't it?" the little boy only nods his head quietly in response but for the first time in a while Namjoon can see a glint of excitement about food in Yoongi's eyes.

"that was seriously amazing" Namjoon says leaning back on his chair, the meal went swimmingly well, the conversation was flowing, the laughter never stopped and the children were on his best behavior, of course they would be when cake was promised to them.

"I'm glad you liked it" Seokjin smiled sweetly holding Jungkook as the infant shoved a handful of cake into his mouth, his own son was working on his second slice of cake but that wasn't the only thing he ate, Namjoon expected Yoongi to have a bowl of rice so he was pleasantly surprised when the child quietly ate everything else Seokjin served on his plate

"honestly I loved it" the man smiled back at the warm fuzzy feeling he had, maybe it was the fullness of his stomach or maybe something else, Seokjin’s hair was tousled and the black and white striped shirt he was wearing was soaked and wrinkled and yet the man looked ethereal, Namjoon might have been staring at him for a while if Jackson hadn't cleared his throat loudly before speaking

"and I loved hanging out with you guys but Jin-young and I have a grown up party to go to" his friend announced standing up and stretching his arms

"The event doesn't start till 9" Namjoon tells his friend after checking his watch

"well yeah but we have to get ready-" Jin-young shrugs      

"and we want to spend some grown up time together, if you know what I mean" Jackson stage whispers

"yes babe I'm sure everyone except the kids know what you mean" Jin-young rolled his eyes but then turned to Namjoon with a smile "I already emailed the publisher and we should have the contact ready by Monday, we can-"

"Babe come on! "Jackson whined hugging his boyfriend “if we stay longer he might make us do the dishes”

"alright!" Jin-young chuckled patting Jackson's arm "are you sure you don't want to go Namjoon-ssi?"

"you and Jackson are better at mingling and socializing with celebrities" The producer tells his business partner before turning to Seokjin “do some networking and I’ll do dishes this time”

“you’re the best Namjoon-ah!” Jackson claps a hand on his shoulder

"I'll make sure he doesn't ruin your careers" Jin-young says getting up

"thanks” Namjoon lets out a low chuckle

“see you Monday boss!” Jin-young bows to the older man

“have fun” Seokjin nods wiping his baby’s chubby cheeks with a wipe

“I will!” Jin-young says trying to contain his excitement

“say goodbye kids” the father tells them as he shifts his youngest in his arms

“bye-bye!” Seokjin kids chorused waving their frosting covered hands

“daddy, can we watch a movie?” Hosoek asks reaching for a napkin

“sure, sweetie” his father answers handing him the napkin as Jungkook buries his face in his father’s neck “is everyone done with their food?”

“yes daddy!” Jiminie says setting down his pastry fork

“all done!” Tae says jumping off his chair

“can we watch ratatouille?” Seokjin eldest asks

“again?” the father chuckles “maybe we should let Yoongi pick the movie”

“hyung, do you wanna watch ratatouille?” the preschooler asks his friend, the pale child only nods his head and the other grins “ratatouille!”

“alright then”

The kids, now changed into pajamas, snuggled in their pillow fort on the family room’s floor with bowls of popcorn and candy watching a second movie while also trying their best not to fall asleep, the dishes were done, Jungkook was taking a nap in the nursery, Seokjin and Namjoon sat on the couch chatting quietly enough as to not to disturb the kids.

"so you gave Jin-young your invitation to that Pre-Grammy party thing?" The brunette asks, baby monitor in his lap and mug of tea in hand

"yeah" Namjoon says before taking a sip of his

"he wouldn't shut up about it, he was so excited to walk his first red-carpet with his boyfriend" Seokjin chuckles "it sounds like a big deal; why didn't you go yourself?"

" I try not to work on the weekends so I can spend time with Yoongi” the blonde says leaning back on the soft couch "and those parties are a lot of work "

"tell me about it” Seokjin sighs leaning his head back “I'd much rather cater one of those parties than actually going to one”

"yeah, I liked this party though" Namjoon says turning his head to look at the other man

"me too"  Seokjin mirrors his actions and gives him a soft smile.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Jin-young was up and early that morning, walking through the door of the Kim household at 7 am, like every Monday for the past five years, he and Seokjin would go over the weekly schedule, adding some last minute appointments and canceling some meetings, Seokjin needs to approve any and every change to his schedule, the chef's time nowadays was scarce, his attention divided between his many projects and business ventures but mainly focused on his four children, Seokjin was at a point in his career where could show up two hours late  just because he felt like it and people would still be glad to see him but he never did, he carefully and meticulously planned every hour so he could make the most of his day.

Early Mornings when the kids were still asleep were the best time to plan the week, Seokjin had a cup of Jin-young’s favorite coffee ready for him, a stack of pancakes on a plate and a full layout of toppings

"How was the party? should I have made Haejang-guk instead?" the chef asked with a teasing smile as his assistant pulled his laptop out of his bag

"Pancakes are just fine" the assistant smiles taking a sit and looking at the food "new recipe?"

“Yes, I also have a few recipe ideas for lunch, dinner and snacks" the chef says pouring himself a cup of coffee

"Someone's inspired" Jin-young grins cutting up a piece of pancake

"Do you have the contract ready?" the chef asks ignoring the subtle teasing

"Yes boss" his employee says handing him a piece of paper "I'll give Namjoon-ssi a copy when I stop by the studio later"

"Lunch date with Jackson?" Seokjin asks

"Yup" Jin-young nods setting down his fork "you should have lunch with Namjoon-ssi"

"To go over the contract? I'm sure he already has plans" his boss tells him taking a sip of his coffee

"I think the two of you should get to know each other a little better" Jin-young nods

"What for?" Seokjin asks setting his mug down and crossing his arms "I'm just teaching him how to cook, also I'm making Taehyungie's favorite pasta today"

"yeah okay hyung" the assistant looks down at his food

"I'll see him when I pick up Hobi from school" Seokjin shrugged

"oh?"

"the kids like to play after school so we wait together" he explains moving his coffee around inside the mug

"that's sweet" Jin-young smiles turning his head to the side “I mean that the kids all play together"

"yes, anyways” his boss cleared his throat intent on changing the subject “how was the party?"

"honestly the food was awful" Jin-young began 

"spoiled" Seokjin chuckled leaning against the counter

"everything else was amazing" the man said reaching for his coffee "being with Jackson made it even better, when I'm with him I just- he's just so-" the younger one sighed "I love him so much"

"that is so sweet" the older man smiled affectionately "Jackson is a great guy- don't tell him I said that- and I'm glad you two found each other"

"hyung, I think- I really think he's 'the one’” Jin-young admitted before covering his mouth with his hand, Seokjin only blinks "I mean I'm not absolutely sure but- how did you know, hyung?"

"I- I don't know" his older friend shrugged "I was young- he was all I had"

"and you were all he had" his younger friend ads

"yeah, I think things might have been easier if I wasn't a helpless romantic, I had to grow up and realize that after the magic is gone you have to work hard to make relationships work…" Seokjin says, after a brief silence, Seokjin ads "but he never gave up on me and he supported my dreams and my career as if they were his own"

"he was the best" Jin-young nods solemnly, he looked up to Ken as much as he looked up to Seokjin. Ken was the wind in Seokjin’s sail, he was always planning for something bigger, searching for the next best thing, striving for more, before the kids came around they were always on the move, working around the clock, they were truly a power couple.

"yeah, so if you can do that for Jackson or he can do that for you- then you guys can make it through anything" his hyung says with a small smile, the man always gets this look in his face whenever he talks about Jae Hwan, Jin-young doesn’t know how with which label to classify it

"thanks hyung"

"right, I um- I want to move the menu tasting to Wednesday, other than that, the schedule looks good" the chef says before grabbing his phone to check the time "I have to get the kids ready"

"are you sure you don't want me to drive Hobi to school today?"

"I can do it myself, thank you very much"

"might be easier without three other kids on tow" the assistant tells him as the baby monitor comes to life with Jungkook’s cries

"I can handle it! " Seokjin says grabbing the device and walking towards the stairs

“but you don't have to do it alone" the younger man sighs watching his boss and close friend rush to the nursery. Seokjin always refuses help when it comes to his children, has told him countless times that he is his assistant, not his nanny, hiring one isn't a remote possibility. Raising four kids is hard to do without any help but Seokjin won't let it show how tired, sad or lonely he is, in parenthood as with everything else in life, Seokjin strives for perfection.

He's been to the studio many times before but he's still not used to it, this time the studio was relatively clean, with only a few empty coffee cups and water bottles scattered around the dark space, the room had no windows, except for the glass panel to the recording booth itself, the furniture were mostly black and the glow from the computer screens was much brighter than the dim lighting of the lamps, the two producers had their headphones on when he walked in, neither of them looked up so he decided to switch the lights on to make himself noticed. What the-" Namjoon grumbles lifting his glasses with one and rubbing his eyes with the other

"turn it off! " Jackson says rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand "oh hi babe"

"hello" Jin-young smiles as his boyfriend gets up to give him a kiss

"hi" Namjoon greets completely taking off his glasses

"are you ready to go?" Jackson asks him

"just a second--Namjoon-ssi, I have the contract” he announces holding up the piece of paper "Seokjin approved and ready to sign, if you have any concerns or questions-"

"his people will call your people, I thought you were here to see me" Jackson says pouting

"of course… but since I'm here" the young man shrugs

"thanks Jin-young, I'll look over it during lunch" Namjoon tells him, eyes locked on the screen before him as he grabs the paper

"right... or we could do it now" Jin-young tells him placing a pen on the table, Namjoon finally looks up when he sits in front of him

"babe, are you getting a commission or something?" Jackson says putting a hand in his shoulder "you're being a little too pushy"

"fine, maybe I am being pushy but he's been postponing this book for so long" the assistant sighs looking down at his hands "hyung's had a rough year...but now that you're involved in the project, he's suddenly inspired and motivated to work, it's like he's rediscovering his passion and-"

"Jin-young, I'm in, I'm for sure doing this" the man before him says scanning over the contract, he read the copy Jin-young had sent him earlier and even sent it to his lawyer aka his younger sister, Geong Min, gave him gave him a green light to sign the document, so he grabbed the pen and left his signature on the dotted line

"you have no idea how much this means to me- us" Jin-young smiled getting up and bowing his head

"right...” Namjoon shrugs putting his glasses back on and turning back to his work “although I think he's helping me more than I'm helping him"

“okay, okay!” Jackson grumbles “can we go now?”

“sure!” his boyfriend smiles

“want me to get you something?”

“no, it’s cool” Namjoon says already immerse in his work

“get some takeout or something, okay?” Jackson tells him as they walk towards the door”

“uh-huh”

“we’re not in college anymore Namjoon-ah, you can’t live off of ramyum!”

Turns out you can, but you shouldn’t, live off of ramyum that is, Namjoon’s face was going to be swollen the next day, but he was really close to finishing a song he’d been working on for a while, there’s no better feeling than completing a project that you were about to give up on at some point. The first time he felt that way was when Yoongi was only a few weeks old, when the duo was able to sell their first song, one they’d been working on for weeks, finishing just in time to submit it to a label.

Before, he would only make music when he felt like it, only when moments of inspiration hit him, which was great for his creativity but terrible for his economy. His mother saw music as an expensive hobby, one that had no room in the life of a single twenty-four-year-old father submerged in college loans, it was plain and simple, he needed to make money of his music so he put his dreams of being a rapper on hold and instead became a producer and songwriter, partnering up with Jackson and began to sell music.

As an aspiring rapper he’d been working on his first demo before he even found out he was going to be a father, he was well known on the underground scene and booked performances almost every weekend, but Namjoon took his time with his music, he made sure every aspect of it was perfect and perfectly represented who he was. His way of working was completely different now, more focused in deadlines and sales, never really revisiting his former dream.

The single father makes sure to double check if he saved his work before heading to Ashford to pick up his son, the little one had been in a great mood that morning, he almost seemed excited to go to school that day, Namjoon can only smile as thinks about Yoongi’s little button nose, his pudgy cheeks and how his eyes scrunch up when he flashes his signature gummy smile, he’d do anything to keep that smile on his son’s face, even learn how to cook.


	7. chapter 7

Chapter 7

Seokjin sits on the bench by the playground while the older kids play Jungkookie sleeps on his stroller, the cool breeze was picking up so he decides to pull his baby’s blanket a little higher, when he lean back on the bench he fights back a smile as he hears the heavy and hurried footsteps of tall long-legged man approaching behind him “will you make a habit of arriving late to our sessions as well, Namjoon-ssi?” Seokjin asks without even turning around to face the man

“Oh come on, I haven’t been late since the first time we met” Namjoon lets out a breathy chuckle as he walks around the bench to sit next to the brunette, dimples in full display as he greets him “hi”

“Hello” the father of four smiles back

“I signed the contract” the blonde informs him, smile unfaltering

“I heard you did” Seokjin nods, turning to look ahead “sorry if Jin-young was being too pushy”

 “not at all” Namjoon shrugs before waving at his son “when do we start? Jin-young made it sound like you have a deadline"

“aish! See? He just guilt tripped you into signing the contract” the chef sighs before bringing his hands to his face “I’m so sorry Namjoon-ssi”

“no, he didn’t” Namjoon says turning his body to face the man beside him “I wanted to do this”

“are you sure? We could always annul it and-”

“no! look I really need this, I need you-” the producer shuts his mouth and shifts in his sit before continuing “I need you to teach me how to cook, for Yoongi’s sake”

“alright… okay, I can do that, sure” Seokjin says, keeping his eyes on the other man as he unconsciously rubs the back of his arms as if he was cold, despite wearing his coziest Givenchy sweater “we can start today if you’d like…”

“sure… that works for me” the other man tells him resting his elbow on the back of the bench

“I figured we could start at your house, since you’re more familiar with your kitchen” Seokjin tells him, all the while fidgeting with Jungkook’s pacifier

“well Seokjin-ssi, that’s the problem, I’m not familiar with it at all” Namjoon grimaces

“right” the chef chuckles looking down at his hands, bendy and callused despite the tons of hand lotion he applies “but after this is done you will be”

“okay, but I don’t know if my kitchen is equipped to your standards” the taller man tells him turning his head to the side "and we just moved so there's boxes everywhere"

“the more you know how to cook, the more adaptable you are” Seokjin shrugs looking into the man’s eyes “you do with the stoves that you’re given and the countertop space or lack thereof”

“right but I literally own a couple of mugs and a veggie tale’s cereal bowl” Namjoon says arching an eyebrow at him

“okay, that would be a problem” the chef admits turning to look at the younger man “look, I could borrow you all the essentials but if you’re really serious about cooking, I think getting your own would be a smart investment”

“all right, let’s do it” Namjoon smiles and with his face only a few inches away from him, Seokjin can appreciate that smile to the fullest, how his thick lips stretch to reveal perfectly straight white teeth and the two perfectly symmetrical dimple adorning the sides, Seokjin can only blink before hastily standing up to call the kids over, willing himself to focus on anything but that smile.

They each take their own cars and kids and meet at Sur la table, this store is the best place to find an unsurpassed selection of exclusive and premium-quality goods for the kitchen also its one of Seokjin’s favorite stores in the world so it was the perfect place to start their shopping

"can I be honest? I don't know what most of these things are" Namjoon tells him as they walk into the store, the man looks around as he holds Jimin and Taehyung's tiny hands, Hosoek and Yoongi hold each other's hands and stick close to Seokjin

"You don't need a lot of fancy equipment, just a few basic essentials and you'll be set in the kitchen" Seokjin says grabbing a basket with one hand and holding Jungkook with the other, the extra weight of the baby doesn't slow him down, he heads towards the shelf displaying a variety of pots and pans, everyone else does their best to keep up with him "Okay so sauce pans, you basically need two" Seokjin says scanning through the display and bouncing Jungkook in his arm

"we have this at home!" Hosoek points at large casserole

"yes we do sweetie" Seokjin tells his eldest before turning back to the Namjoon "you'll want a medium sized one and a large one you can go with copper or stainless steel-"

"daddy made me pasta today" Taehyung whispers quite loudly interrupting his father 

"I want up" as Jimin he tugs on Namjoon’s hand

"that's great Taehyungie" Namjoon says patting the boy's head before turning to his brother "sure Jiminie"

"me too!" the taller twin pouts as Namjoon bends over to pick the child up

"okay anyways" Seokjin continues once Namjoon has both toddlers in his arms "the heavier the bottom the more heat it will conduct, the thinner the bottom the more chances you have of burning your food-" Seokjin tries to reach for a specific sauce pan "Kookie" he sighs as Jungkook starts squirming in his hold

"good afternoon, welcome to 'sur la table'"

"oh hello" Seokjin greets the worker that had approached them

"my name is Shannon and- wait... Your chef Jin!" the red-headed woman smiled

"yes, that's me" Seokjin nods

"We have all your books here, they're our best sellers! I love your recipes, I tried your lamb chops last Sunday, they turned out amazing! " the woman gushes, Namjoon can only watch as Seokjin smiles kindly at her and wonder how often this happens because none of Seokjin’s children seem bothered by the stranger talking enthusiastically to his father "so what brings you to our store? are you looking for something in particular? What can help you with, chef?"

"well, we need to buy a few things and we might need some help carrying them” Seokjin explains

"of course, allow me!" the worker grabs the basket from Seokjin’s hand

"okay, so I'm just going to get all the things we need and I'll explain everything at home"   The chef tells Namjoon "can you stay with the kids for a second?"

"sure" the man nods

"wait for daddy and don't break anything while I'm gone" the father says with Jungkook still in his arms as he walks away with store's employee

"okay!" all the kids and Namjoon say, Seokjin sends him a strange look over the shoulder and he if he wasn't in charge of four children at the moment he would leave this store to never be seen again, so instead he just cringes inwardly as watches those wide shoulders shake with quiet laughter.

There was a lounge area by the entrance of the store, Namjoon recalls so he decides to head in that direction with the kids, Yoongi pointing points to random things, mumbles something and Hosoek erupts into giggles, this happens a few times as they walk and Namjoon has to wonder if his son is truly a comedic genius or if perhaps audience is too kind, he briefly wishes he was in on the joke but then he feels two pair of hands gently picking at his hair

"why is your hair white?" Taehyung ask and Namjoon turns his head to meet the boy’s big beautiful eyes

“because I dyed it" the man explains but then a higher pitch voice chimes in

“but why white?” the smaller twin asks carefully examining each strand

“oh you don’t like it Jiminie?” the adult pretends to be hurt, pout and all as they walk through the mostly empty store

“it’s pretty but-” the chubby-cheeked boy says leaning his head on shoulder and patting his chest as to comfort him

“but boring!” Taehyung exclaims and Namjoon laughs a little too loud for a public setting, the cashier only spares him a glance before going back to scrolling on her phone

“Tae-Tae that’s not nice!” the oldest of the brothers is now standing in front of them heart shaped lips turning into a scowl and hands resting on his hips

“sorry…” the honey skinned boy mumbles hiding his face in Namjoon’s neck

“it’s okay Tae” the man tells him as he sets the both boys down, arms burning, he stretches them over his head but in an instant Jimin and Taehyung are climbing onto his lap and Yoongi and Hosoek sit on each side of him.

“daddy had pink hair, it was so pretty” Jimin comments in a casual conversational tone that no three-year-old should posses

“well that’s because your daddy is pretty- pretty cool” Namjoon thinks he was able to conceal his mindless slip of the mouth but the boy’s giggling tells him otherwise

“daddy’s the prettiest” Taehyung says flashing his boxy smile

“right- so what hair color do you guys think I should have?” the adult says hopping to distract them

“Pink, like daddy!” Jimin says bouncing up and down

“purple, I love purple” his brother counters

“No, Red!” Hosoek chimes in

“maybe black” Yoongi says with a small shrug

“like yours buddy?” his father asks tousling his hair as the boy nods his head

“then we would all look like a family!” his friend says clapping his hands and Namjoon smiles down at the boy

“maybe I’ll try out all those colors” the man says with a low chuckle, the younger two are glued to his lap and the older boys are now leaning their weights on the adult and he tries not to feel crowded, Yoongi was never clingy and affectionate, perhaps the Kim brother’s touchy feely nature is rubbing on him, Namjoon’s not used to it but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it.

“Thanks so much for your help, Shannon" Seokjin tells her, their basket is now full and they have almost everything they need

"of course! looks like you and your husband have your hands full" the lady says holding up two peelers for the chef to choose from

"this one- oh! we're not- I'm not- he's-" Seokjin says as the lady moves on to the next aisle after putting the peeler he chose in the basket

"your kids are absolutely adorable and so well behaved!" she continues once he catches up with her

"he's not my husband!" the man tells her and she stops completely

"oh I'm so sorry" the woman’s face fills with embarrassment "I Just-I read you were married and I assumed he- sorry"

"it's okay..." Seokjin says painting on a smile but shifts awkwardly, he was used to the attention before, when it was only on him but now after he started a family people started to pry into his personal life, after his husband's sudden death, his team did everything he could to ensure his family's privacy during their most trying times, but Seokjin knows he can't be sheltered forever "I think we have everything we need"

"the checkout is this way" Shannon tells him and he nods following after her, by the checkout counter, there he finds Namjoon sitting on a small lounge area with Jimin and Taehyung in his lap and Hosoek and Yoongi leaning on his shoulder, the five of them making weird faces as the camera sound went off

"PA!" Jungkook calls out when he spots them and Seokjin chuckles as Namjoon puts his phone down as fast as he can

"hey, how did it go?" Namjoon asks as Jimin and Taehyung get off his lap and walking towards the other man

"we have everything right here” Seokjin tells him with a smile, Hosoek imitates beeps of the barcode scanner and the others erupt into giggles before they all start copying him, everyone except Jungkook, the little one is getting fidgety again in Seokjin’s hold and reaches towards Namjoon

"alright, you little wiggle worm” the taller man chuckles as the baby wraps his tiny arms around his neck, now that his hands are free Seokjin is able to reach into his pocket and pull out his black card "no- wait! Seokjin-ssi, I got it-"

"please, allow me" Seokjin tells him handing his card over to the cashier

"I can't let you pay for all this" Namjoon says cringing when he looks at the total

"consider it a house warming gift" the chef says with a smile

"Seokjin-ssi-"

“and I think it’s about time we drop the formalities” Seokjin says putting his hands on hips the exact same way Hosoek did earlier “don’t you think Namjoon-ah?”

“What should I call you then?” the taller man asks as he grabs as many bags as he can carry with one hand and still maintain a safe hold on the baby  

“Seokjin, Jin or hyung” the man says with a casual tone as the cashier hands him his credit card back

“hyung?” Namjoon questions raising an eyebrow

"I am older than you after all" Seokjin says gesturing for the kids to follow as he grabs a few bags

“daddy-” before they kids can protest, his father hands the smallest ones to each of the kids, knowing they will insist on helping

"you don't look it" the producer mumbles

"yah! I already bought you all these stuff, you can stop with the flattering!” Seokjin laughs but he can see his ears turning pink

"really, you're too much!" the taller man laughs along and shakes his head

"I am just enough, thank you very much” he replies, ears now bright red

"but seriously, I'll pay you back” Namjoon promises as Seokjin starts to walk ahead of him

"just send me the cute selcas you took with the boys and we’re even" the brunette says with a fond smile and Namjoon has now officially decided that he likes being in the receiving end of that smile.

"I will... Hyung"


	8. chapter 8

As they walk through the door Namjoon immediately regrets not tidying up the apartment before leaving this morning. the worst part is that most of the things scattered around the living room are his and not Yoongi's, the child tends to keep the toys and clothes that he'd decided to unpack in his own bedroom, in relative order, Namjoon on the other hand tends to leave things in the most unexpected places, that is why there is a mic and stand inside the pantry, headphones by the kitchen sink and no food anywhere in sight. Luckily they decided to stop by the grocery store on their way here, shopping there was a little easier than on the other store, they simply took two carts and loaded one with the kids and the other one with ingredients Seokjin selected.

Namjoon does his best to unlock the door with one arm, Jungkook had decided that he wanted to remained glued to his side and Namjoon, a simple mortal, can't say no to the doe eyed baby. He nudged the door open with his foot and took a step aside to let everyone else go in first, Seokjin’s kids stumbled inside, excited to finally see where their Yoongi hyung lives and completely forgetting about the bags they were supposed to be helping to carry.

Namjoon grabbed as many as he could and walked inside

"I wanna see hyung's room!" Hosoek asked tugging on Yoongi's arm when they're all done taking their shoes off and neatly placing them by the wall

"go ahead, show them buddy" his father tells him closing the door and Yoongi nods with a gummy smile, before leading his younger friends towards his bedroom

"sorry about the mess…" Namjoon says, Seokjin looks around the place, boxes and random sound equipment scattered around seem to catch his eye “we’re still not fully settled”

"how long have you lived here?" the man asks and follows as Namjoon leads him towards the kitchen

“uh... six months" he replies with a shrug after doing the mental math

“And you still haven't unpacked?" the brunette let's out a soft chuckle

“well, it was supposed to be a temporary place" Namjoon sighs setting the bags he’s carrying on the kitchen counter “I was in the process of buying a house and then- stuff happened and well-"

"so... you're moving out?" Seokjin asks mimicking his actions

"I mean, I'm still not sure- I'm not sure if I want to buy a house just yet or stay here for a while” Namjoon rambles turning his head to the side only to have Jungkookie blink at him tiredly

"you could give this place a chance, it's got a nice view, open concept with floor to ceiling windows" Seokjin tells him extending his arms towards his youngest son "the kitchen layout is great, very functional, the appliances are very good quality, this is a nice place"

“and the price it's not bad for this part of town" Namjoon admits smile etching across his face as the baby rests his head on his father’s broad shoulders “maybe I would love this place if I was a single guy in my early 20s but-"

"but instead you're a married guy in your mid 20s-"

"no, no! I'm still single- very single but I do have a kid” Namjoon says lifting his hands and shaking his head

"so?" Seokjin ask with an amused smile

"this place isn't very homey" the taller man tells him “I want to give Yoongi a home, like an actual family home"

"Home is a feeling, not a place Namjoon-ah" the chef tells him as he rubs Jungkook’s back "I think you could start by unpacking all this but maybe you should focus on the family part first"

"appa?”  Namjoon hears his son calling from the living room “Can we watch tv?"

"sure guys" he tells him with a smile when he sees the younger ones already sitting on the couch "let me set it up for you"

"I think Jungkookie is ready for a nap" Seokjin tells him as he grabs the remote

"you can put him in my room" the taller man says sitting on the couch “down the hall, second door to your left”

As he walks down the hall he can Namjoon talking to the kids, trying to decide what to watch, the man gives a democratic solution and suggests they play ‘rock, paper, scissors’ and let the winner decide, the sound of voices and laughter is comforting to Seokjin, because it was something his family lacked when he was growing up.

Seokjin grew up on one of the wealthier areas of Seoul and went to the best schools his father’s CEO income could afford, his mother a former ‘Miss Korea’ made sure their home and family was as beautiful and perfect as herself, to the outside world they were but Seokjin can’t really remember if he ever laughed like their kids do as a child, if he ever played with his older brother, or even talked to his parents unless spoken to first. 

“rock paper, scissor, go!” he hears the adult talk, he sounds as immerse in the game as the kids “and we have a winner everyone! Hoseokie how do you feel after this win?” he hears the ever-present giggles of his boys mixed with Yoongi’s quiet little chuckles as Namjoon does his best news reporter voice and he shakes his head, closing the bedroom door behind himself.  He felt like he’d just entered a hotel room, it was a nice bedroom but it lacked a personal touch, that lived in very personal touch that everyone puts into their living spaces, there were no family pictures on the bedside table, only a phone charger and a water bottle besides the lamp.

The king sized bed's bedding was very soft and Jungkook snuggled into it the moment his father placed him on the bed, a few back rubs later the infant fell into a profound sleep by the time the door quietly opens "well that was fast" Namjoon whispered as he leaned on the doorframe

"yeah, this one sleeps like a log, so he'll probably sleep until we wake him up for dinner” Seokjin chuckles caressing the infant's cheek "so, shall we get started?"

“is your fridge always this full?” Namjoon asks as he hands things over for Seokjin to arrange them inside the fridge

“well now it is, the dirty little secret that you’ll find with a lot of chefs is that our fridges don’t have a lot in them” the chef tells him grabbing the egg carton from Namjoon’s hands "there was a time when the only thing in my fridge was champagne and dark chocolate, I didn't even cook for my husband after I opened my first restaurant” Seokjin sighs closing the refrigerator door “but having a child really changed the way that I cook, shop and I eat personally because now it feels like there’s a responsibility to teach them where food comes from and how it's prepared” Namjoon only nodded his head, he seemed to be listening intently to every word and Seokjin couldn’t help but to shift nervously as he continued “so I make sure to have enough food on stock for me and the kids- and Jin-young... And Jackson- he's always at my house for some reason"

"to see his boyfriend maybe?"  Namjoon offered and he quickly shook his head

"oh no! He's there to steal my food" Seokjin tells him and the taller man lets out a laugh "he's lucky the kids love him"

"I sense some beef between the two of you" Namjoon says in an amused tone

"just some healthy intimidation and rivalry" Seokjin shrugs before crossing his arms over his chest "though I did make him cry once but I don't regret it"

"What? Why?"

"I just wanted to see if he in it for the right reasons, I'm just looking out for Jin-young" the chef tells him looking down at his feet

“that’s really nice of you, hyung”

“he’s family, that’s what you do” the brunette looks up and shrugs again

“you make others cry if they dare to mess with them?” the producer asks with lifting an eyebrow at him

“exactly” he smiles brightly putting his hands on his waist "okay, now we have everything we need and know where everything is, we can move on to the good stuff"

"are we going to start cooking?" the taller man asks

“oh yes we are” he answers smiling more sincerely seeing Namjoon’s eyes sparkling with contagious excitement.

Diner took way longer than it would if he made it by himself but Seokjin had enjoyed cooking with Namjoon that afternoon, everything was so much dirtier and messier and he can’t yell at anyone like I would in a professional kitchen and the thing is, he doesn’t want to, not even when Namjoon tried to chop an onion without placing it flat side down first or when he tried to drain the noodles with knife and a chopstick, at this point Hosoek had walked into the kitchen to get some water and with his hands on his waist the boy shook his head and said “safety first, safety second, safety third too!” and Seokjin couldn’t help but to laugh. Instead Seokjin only smiled and gently corrected Namjoon as he would with any of his kids, which isn’t surprising considering that their skills in the kitchen are almost equally matched, granted the kids have been learning how to cook for way longer than him but at least Namjoon can reach the kitchen counter without a stepping stool.

“so much pain, so much pain for a dish that he might not even like” Namjoon sighed as they were finishing plating the japchae

“oh come on it wasn’t that hard, was it?” Seokjin says sprinkling some sesame seeds on top of the finished dish

“okay… it wasn’t” the man admits with a shrug “but I don’t think I can do that again without your help”

“well this was only your first lesson and I think you did pretty well” the chef says lifting the plate up and smiling “the food turned out great and you didn’t hurt yourself or anyone else-”

“yet-”

“Namjoon- ah!” Seokjin laughs and pokes the taller man’s chest with his index finger “you better believe in yourself, like I believe in you”

“alright!” Namjoon laughs backing away and rubbing his chest

“daddy!” Jimin burst through the door followed by his siblings, Seokjin braces himself for the collision “Kookie’s up!” the little boy tells him holding tightly onto his legs

“jk’s crying!” Hosoek tries to talk over his younger sibling

“I’m hungry!” Taehyung groans flopping onto the ground dramatically

“dinner is ready” Seokjin tells them while handing the dish over to Namjoon “I’ll go check on your brother while you guys set the table”

“okay daddy!” the three chorused but Jimin remained glued to his legs

“Jiminie I can’t move” Seokjin chuckles while shaking his leg as the little boy giggles

“Jiminie let go! I’m hungry!” Taehyung crawls towards them and pulls his brother down to the ground with him, the two boys squeal with laughter as their older brother throws himself on top of them, he shakes his head at his goofy kids and exchanges amused looks with Namjoon before heading to the bedroom.

“guys? Where’s Yoongi?” Namjoon asks

“hyung’s with Jungkookie” Taehyung answers, his voice muffled by Jimin’s tiny foot on his face but otherwise unbothered

“alright…” the adult says heading towards the table, the three kids immediately get on their feet to follow after him

“Yoongi’s appa?” Hosoek calls and Namjoon lets out a loud snort as he sets the main dish on the center of the table

“Hoseokie, you guys can just call me Namjoon or Joon” he tells the boy

“No!” Taehyung says and his twin brother giggles as Hosoek covers Tae’s mouth with his hand

“why not?” Namjoon asks the little boy

“EW! Dirty water!” Hosoek removes his hand wet with his brother’s saliva

“just no!” Taehyung giggles

“we want to help” Jimin says tugging on is hand smiling up at him

“okay…?” the sunshine trio, as Namjoon will refer to them mentally from now on, could be loud and energetic but also kind and polite, the brother’s unpredictability was a stark contrast to Yoongi’s more predictable character and even tempered personality “well, I’m sure I have plates around here somewhere…”

Seokjin worried when couldn’t hear Jungkook’s cries, only voices, not even he could have fallen back asleep so fast, so he rushed down the hall but when he opened the door he was greeted with the sweetest of pictures “if you want to make friends with dragons, tacos are key-” Yoongi read out loud sitting with a book opened on his lap and Jungkook sitting next to him, eyes wide as he listens intently to his every word “hi…”

“hey guys” Seokjin smiles from the door

 “dada!” Jungkook calls as he crawls towards his father sitting by edge of the bed

“what are you reading?”  he asks as he approaches the bed

“dragons love tacos” Yoongi closes the book looking a little shy as he shows him the book cover 

“I love tacos too” Seokjin tells him picking Jungkookie up “maybe you could read it for us after dinner”

“you’re staying for dinner?” the older boy asks putting the book on the nightstand

“is that okay with you?” the man asks and the boy nods his head “alright then, let’s go before they eat all of our delicious japchae!” Seokjin says reaching out his hand to Yoongi

“okay” he says taking his hand and jumping off the bed, Seokjin makes a rocket sound as he lifts the boy in the air, Yoongi giggles and gives him a gummy smile once his feet touch the carpeted floor

“come on Yoongi-ssi, we will eat well” Seokjin tugs him along when the boy doesn’t let go of his hand.

On the table there are seven served plates, chopsticks and spoons for everybody despite the fact that Jungkook can’t eat by himself just yet, a few banchan around the main dish, everyone else is already in their place waiting for them, Yoongi sits next to his father and Seokjin sits across them with Jungkook on his lap. Yoongi’s eyes widen for a fraction of a second when he looks at the plate before hi, he turns to his father “these are halmeoni’s”

“yes buddy” Namjoon nods putting his hand on his shoulder

“I will eat well!” Yoongi says with a smile, they all take a moment to say thank you for the food before digging in. After almost two decades of cooking Seokjin now finds that the simplest of meals are the most delicious ones when you eat them in good company. His kids eat happily, quiet for once but still wearing smiles on their faces, Yoongi doesn’t say much else, he runs his fingers along the ornate edge of the china when he asks for seconds.

Their visit dragged on a little too long, so after dinner Yoongi read them the book while he did the dishes and then it was time to leave, the kids protest died down when one by one they passed out in their car seats on the ride back home, somehow he managed to get them all into bed, four kids don’t seem like much until you try to get them in their pajamas when they’re grumpy and half-asleep.

He flopped down on his bed a little later than usual, and groans when phone screen lights up in the darkness of his room, he reaches for it and smiles wide when he opens his conversation with Namjoon to see the many selcas he took with the kids and the simple text _‘thank you’_

To which he replies _‘no, thank you’_.


	9. Chapter 9

Yoongi woke up that morning to the sound of music playing, but it wasn't the usual alarm bearing through the quiet apartment, the music came from the kitchen and it was accompanied by his father's deep voice humming along and the smell of something burning, Yoongi really wanted to stay in bed longer but he was also curious to see what his appa was up to, so he dragged himself out of bed halmonie always said that you should wash your face first thing in the morning to greet a new day, so he headed to the bathroom first.

As he walked through the house he noticed that there were less boxes scattered around, every morning he’d find that things he hadn’t seen in a long time had found a new place in their house. Like the framed picture on the end table by the living room couch, it was a photo of him as a baby, his halmonie holding him, his appa and nomo standing on each side of her, all of them wearing colorful clothing and standing by a table full of delicious looking food. it was Yoongi’s first chuseok, he remembers nothing of it but recognizes his old house, the small table where he and his grandmother would have dinner together every night, his stomach growls at the memory of her galbijjim, so decides to head to the kitchen, hoping to find at least something eatable there.

“good morning appa" he greeted as he walked in, his father cooking something on the stove

"good morning son" the man said turning around, holding a pan on one hand and a spatula on the other and walking towards him as he climbed onto the stool at the breakfast bar “did you sleep well?"

" yeah- uh… appa” he answered once he sat on the stool he pointed towards the stove "turn it off"

"oh shi-I mean shoot!" his father said rushing back to the stove to turn it off, Yoongi sighed quietly looking down at his small bowl of rice as his father came back "thanks buddy... I made you eggs!" The boy smiled when he saw the food he was holding, the eggs were a little overcooked and had a few pieces of eggshells here and there but he was happy to eat anything other than cereal in the morning "and some rice for you and toast for me"

"thanks" his father placed the pan between the two of them and a plate of burnt toast

"you want milk?" his father going to the fridge

"no, thanks" he couldn't hide his distaste for the white liquid that his father would pour into the overly sweet cereal he'd eaten far too many times and that always left him with a funny feeling in his tummy

"orange juice then! " his father poured each of them a glass, placing them on the bar before he sat down in front of him, Yoongi shrugs and grabs his chopsticks as his father gives him a dimpled smile

“what are we having for dinner tonight?” Yoongi asks after eating mostly in silence, he swallows a mouthful of rice and a bit of eggs and that is his way of asking if they’re eating with Hosoek’s family again as they have been every other night for the past couple of weeks. 

“I don't know buddy" his father says munching on his toast "I think I'll try to cook something by myself tonight, got any suggestions?"

" maybe... Galbijjim?" he shrugs, knows his appa still new to cooking and that dish seems complicated to make, he remembers sitting on his grandmother's kitchen counter as the woman chopped vegetables and boiled meat for what felt like hours, so he tries to not get his hopes up but really he craves it, the taste of home.

"oh sure... We can do that" his appa smiles

Yoongi though it was nice of Hosoek’s dad to teach his appa how to cook, even if he doesn't learn much he still gets to spend time with his friend, much like Yoongi at school, really, and speaking of school... "are you done?" Yoongi nods and his father immediately gets up "alright let's get you ready for school"

"good morning everyone!" miss Truby greets the class as she always did, with a big smile on her face and her hands on her hips as the last of the kids took their seats

"good morning miss Truby!" his classmates, including Hosoek who was sitting next to him, greeted back but Yoongi only sighed. He's not a fan of school and not because he doesn't like learning, he loves it when his appa teaches him new things but nothing at school has caught his attention just yet

"today we're going to be learning about families” the young woman told his students "who can tell me what a family is? Yes, Michael?"

"a family is a mommy, a daddy and their babies" the blonde boy answers still raising his hand

"yes, that is one type of family thank you Michael" miss Truby nods as she walks towards her desk “but not all families look the same, some families have only a mommy or only a daddy, others have two daddies or two mommies" she grabs a stack of papers from the desk with a smile “family are people who love and take care of each other” Yoongi actually looks up at her at this, her definition of family actually made sense but it also brought up a lot of questions, is his mother actually his family? she never took care of him and she can’t possibly love him because he doesn’t even remember her "I'm going to give you guys this paper and you're going to draw your families"  Yoongi frowns, guess he’s going to have to figure it out

"How are we doing Yoongi?" the woman asks, after she handed out the papers, Yoongi wrote his full name as neatly as he could on the top corner of the page and quickly drew himself and his father, after that he spent a few minutes staring at the blank space around them

"okay, I guess" he shrugged looking up from the half colored drawings of him and his father, he thought about adding his aunt, but she lived far away and she rarely visited and his grandmother was in heaven now so he figured she didn't count, so in the end he only drew himself and his appa

Okay... Hosoek?" She pronounced his name in a weird way but Hobi didn't seem to mind

"my family is really big" he says with pride as he lifts his drawing

"oh wow! You might need another paper to fit all those people!" the teacher says and his friend nods enthusiastically and starts pointing out his drawing one by one

"this is me, these are my little brothers, my daddy, my uncles, this Yoongi-"

"you… drew me?"  Yoongi blinks but there he is, wearing his black kumamon t-shirt and all

“yup!" he simply nods before turning back to the teacher “and this is Yoongi's appa and this is my appa-  he's up here because he's in heaven now but daddy says that he still loves us and looks out for us from there" both miss Truby and Yoongi are still trying to processes all the information Hosoek dished out when he ads on "I-I don't remember a lot about him but we have a lot of pictures of him... So I think I did a good job"

"you did Hosoek, it's a beautiful picture" the teacher tells him looking concerned at the subtle break in his voice

"thanks..." Yoongi noticed how crestfallen his friend look, the down turn on his lips was a stark contrast to the usual bright smile he wore, he could see a few tears threatening to fall from his eyes

 "Hobi, what color do you want your shirt to be?" Yoongi asks because he doesn't know what else to do besides changing the subject

"oh green!” Hosoek answers lighting back up as they both switch back to Korean

"well…keep up the good work guys!" the teacher says before moving on to another table

“hyung, could you draw me taller than you? I think I'm going to be taller than you pretty soon" the younger one pleads

"sure..." Yoongi smiled reaching for the green color pencil, he can figure out everything else later, right now what matters is drawing Hobi next to him.

Jackson is a cool guy, one of the coolest he’d say, he doesn’t get annoyed easily and his pretty chill most of the time but right now, when he’s trying to talk to Namjoon about a new song he’s been working on and the taller man keeps checking his phone with a dumb smile in his face every time he gets a notification, quickly typing a reply all the while pretending to listen, Jackson is having some trouble keeping his cool.

“Namjoon-ah! Are you listening to me?” he asks despite knowing the answer as his friend sets his phone down

“yeah, you were saying you added some synth and toms to the mix but you’re still not feeling it” Namjoon replies and Jackson groans

“who are you texting?” he asks, okay…  so maybe he is listening but still, he’s being annoying  

“no one...” the man shrugs but then his phone’s screen lights up with a notification “uh my sister…?”

“oh really? Let me say hi to her” Jackson says grabbing his phone and Namjoon’s eyes widen

“no! Jackson wait-” Namjoon gets up almost dropping his laptop as he reaches for his phone

“hyung? You’re texting Jin hyung?” he actually laughs out loud when he sees ‘Kim Seokjin’ on the screen

“Jackson, give me back my phone!” Namjoon groans

“alright! Okay, here” he says giving it back, still laughing and watching amused as Namjoon unlocks his screen to type out a reply “so… you’re cooking alongside of each other for extended periods of time” his friend glares at him from where he’s standing “and yet, you still feel the need to constantly text each other when you’re apart”

“we don’t constantly text each other” Namjoon grumbles “and I’m asking him about a dish I want to make for Yoongi tonight”

“what are you making?” he asks his friend

“galbijjim” he replies and Jackson scoffs

“are you sure you’re ready to cook that all by yourself?” Jackson asks raising an eyebrow

“well hyung said he ‘has a magazine thingy today’” he tells him as he types a reply

“wait- hyung? When did you started calling him that? Also you mean the ‘Times magazine’s 100 most influential people shoot’ he had scheduled for today?” he asks and Namjoon only shrugs before he sits back on his chair, biting back a smile as he looks down at his phone. ‘ _Well, if you can’t beat them, join them’_ Jackson thinks as he pulls out his own phone to text his boyfriend.

Jackson quickly snaps a picture of Namjoon, captions it ‘tell me I’m not the only one suffering’ and sends it to Jin-young. His boyfriend had been stressed all week about the shoot, it was the chef’s first time doing press in almost a year, it took his assistant a lot of time to convince him and he still wasn’t happy to come out of his hiatus, so on top of dealing with two toddlers and a baby during the shoot, Jin-young had to deal with a moody Seokjin.

Jin-young quickly replies with ‘could be worst’ and attaches a picture of his boss on phone sitting on a makeup chair with Taehyung on his lap, a stylist touching up his makeup and Jimin and Jungkook sleeping on a nearby couch, another text follows ‘at least he’s happy’ and Jackson can see it, the subtle smile on Seokjin’s plush lips and the same warmth Namjoon has in his eyes, oh man, this is serious.

He’d seen that look on Namjoon’s face once before, before they were successful, before Yoongi, back in college, which now seems like an eternity ago. Jackson had watch his friend struggle to come to terms with his sexuality, this guy, the guy Namjoon fell for but refused to admit it had been the catalyst of it all. In the end Namjoon decided to break his own heart, decided that he wasn’t ready to be seen as anything but straight and went to back Korea for a whole year with a scholarship. He came back with a baby, the product of a one night stand with a girl he barely knew. Since then, Namjoon come to accept himself and dated a here and there but he’d never had that look on his face again, until now.

“can you send me the song so I can look at it after dinner? I have to stop by the store before picking up Yoongi” Namjoon asks getting up and grabbing his things and he can only nod “if it comes out good, you should come over for dinner”

“I’ll go either way” he tells him with a grin

“alright!” Namjoon laughs as he waves him goodbye

‘they both are’ he types and sends his reply to Jin-young and sighs. Namjoon was a smart man, a genius by many standards but he wasn’t good at dealing with feelings, Jackson only hopes things turn out alright, this time around for the sake of everyone involved.

Appa did it, he actually did it and Yoongi can’t believe it, he made galbijjim and even if doesn’t taste exactly like Halmonie’s and he’s now sitting on their apartment with his father and his best friends, they are eating it on her dishes, with her engraved chopsticks and spoons set and brings him back to those days when they would wait for his father to come home on a cold day and eat their dinner together. As Jackson wipes his face with his napkin and as his father blows on a piece of meat before feeding it to him, he thinks about what miss Truby said, about family and maybe his is bigger than he originally thought.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Namjoon decided to give himself a day off, Jackson was out of town for romantic getaway with his boyfriend somewhere in the pacific islands in celebration of their anniversary, so if Jackson was off living his best life so should Namjoon but mostly because he was stuck on a song he’d been working on and he really needed Jackson’s input but didn’t wanted to bother him on his days off. The father dropped his son off at school and then headed to his hair appointment, he told himself that the new look would help him feel inspired but in the back of his head was a promise he made to four little kids, the timing was perfect just as he was leaving the hair salon, Seokjin called and apologized profusely before he asked if they could meet at his home today instead of Namjoon’s apartment.

"hey" Namjoon greets thirty minutes later when Seokjin opens the door to his house

"hi, come in" the chef who's carrying Jimin in arms says stepping aside to let him in

"is he okay?" the producer asks concerned, the boy is hiding his face in his father's neck but he seems to be bawling his eyes out

“he's just having a bad day, right Jiminie?" the brunette explains rubbing his sons back

"we all have bad days, little guy" Namjoon tells him putting a hand on his shoulder, Jimin lifts his head and turns to the man, eyes and button nose scrunched up as tears stream down his face

"appa! " the boy says reaching for Namjoon, Seokjin’s eyes go impossibly wide, he knows the kids like to call Namjoon ‘Yoongi’s appa’ instead of his actual name and this might be a simple slip up and not mean anything to the child but it could make the adult very uncomfortable

"J-Jiminie-" he stutters out, frozen in his place as Jimin squirms in his hold and Namjoon seemingly unaffected by the word, simply opens his arms and comes closer

"you want to tell me what's wrong buddy?" he asks once he has the boy in his arms, Jimin's cheek is mushed against Namjoon's chest so when he tries to reply, the only word Namjoon could make up from his incoherent sobbing was "Jungkookie" so he turns to Seokjin hopping he has some answers

"he and Jungkook had a little disagreement" the father tells him as they start walking towards the kitchen and Namjoon arches an eyebrow, Jungkookie is just a baby after all but he doesn't want to dismiss Jimin's feelings "he wants to try walking on his own but Jiminie won't let him"

"why is that?" Namjoon asks the boy

"I don't want him to grow up!" Jimin cries, speaking a little more clearly now "he's so cute now"

“you grew up and you're still cute" Namjoon tells him jut Jimin only whines

"but he's my little brother, he has to stay little" the boy tells him and it's hard to argue with that logic but he still tries, he wasn’t president of the debate club for nothing

"I have a sister; you know? she's all grown up now but she's still my little sister" he says as the joy sniffles away "Kookie’s always going to be your little brother no matter what"

"really?" Jimin asks lifting his face to look up at Namjoon, his pouty lips rounded up into an 'o' shape as his eyes traveled up to the man's hair

"I promise" the man tells him with a soft smile

“your hair is pink!" the boy exclaims

“yeah, do you like it?" Namjoon chuckles running his fingers through his hair

"uh huh" the child nods his head "it's really pretty, right daddy?"

"it's a nice color" Seokjin says

"cotton candy color!" Jimin giggles happily as he pats Namjoon's hair and just like that he seems to have forgotten all about his woes by the time they got to the kitchen where Taehyungie and Jungkook were they're sitting on the floor with a little tea party set up before them

"hi!" Taehyungie says standing up to greet Namjoon with a big smile, Jungkook’s eyes widen as he drops his tea cup and starts babbling loudly as he attempts to get up

"hey guys!" the man squats down to their level and set Jimin down "are we having a tea party?"

“they are; we are roasting a chicken" Seokjin tells him dropping an apron on his head "come on"

Preparing the chicken didn't take long to prepare, just a simple rub of oil, Paprika and salt and into the oven it went, they added some Potatoes, onions and peppers into the roasting tray coating everything with some extra virgin olive oil and now all they had to do was wait

"do you mind if I answer to some emails for a little while?" Seokjin wiping his hands on a towel  

"sure" Namjoon nods waiting for his turn to dry his hands  

"I haven't had time to sit down all day and some of these are pretty urgent-" Seokjin explains holding out the towel for him

"go ahead hyung, I'll watch the kids" Namjoon reassures him with a smile

"thanks…" Seokjin says their hands touch briefly but neither of them lets go for a couple of seconds, they simply stare into each other’s eyes, then Seokjin returns the smile before ducking his head, letting go of the towel completely and of the sudden thoughts he doesn’t dare to even entertain.

Namjoon sat on the floor with the kids, Jungkook sitting on his lap as Taehyung poured every one more tea, Jimin giggling away at something his twin said, his spot he could see Seokjin typing away on his laptop like he had been for the past half an hour, his lips pursed in concentration, rounded glasses resting on his delicate nose, the chef sighs and looks up, when they make eye contact, Namjoon has to fight the urge to look away, he'd been caught staring after all but he opts for giving Seokjin a small wave and a smile.

"I'm almost done; I promise" Seokjin tells him with a smile of his own

"oh don't worry, we just started another round of tea" he tells him, turns back to the kids holding up his tiny golden teacup for Taehyungie to pour more of the imaginary beverage "thanks for the tea good sir” he holds up his pinky and cheers each twins,

"pa!" Jungkook exclaims as he throws his own cup across the room

"uh oh" Namjoon says and the baby imitates him

"it's okay Kookie, I'll get it" Jimin says trying to pick up the cup for his brother, the youngest boy shakes his head and rushes to get on his feet

"I think he wants to do it Jiminie” Namjoon says and the boy pouts crossing his arms as his youngest brother stands up on chunky yet wobbly legs "go Kookie!" the adult cheers

“you can do it!" Taehyung joins bouncing in place

"like this Jungkookie" Jimin demonstrates for him, behind them Seokjin stopped working completely and has his eyes glued on his youngest son, not wanting to miss such an important event, with everyone's eyes on him the baby begins to hesitantly lift his foot, ready to take his first step but then he loses his balance and falls on his butt

"aw" Taehyungie says disappointed when Jungkook resorts to crawling instead "when is he going to walk?"

"he'll do it when he's ready" Namjoon reassures him, he hears Seokjin typing resume before his phone starts ringing

"Jin-young?" he says picking up the phone "yeah, I saw the sanitation reports and the budgets" the chef stands up and stretches "yes, I called him earlier and- Jin-young, you shouldn't be working right now, you're on vacation, I have everything under control” the chef checks his watch and his eyes widen, Namjoon stands up and walks up to him "I'll see on Monday, have fun, okay? Bye!"  the brunette hangs up the phone and groans “I don't have everything under control"

"are you okay, hyung?"

"I have to pick up Hobi and I'm still not done with the emails, the food's not done, Jungkookie needs a bath before his nap and I forgot to pump gas and the groceries-"

"well I can pick up the kids and get the groceries" Namjoon tells him with a shrug "you can put the little ones down for a nap after the chicken is done and then you can keep answering the emails"

"I don't know..."

"we all need help from time to time, hyung" Namjoon tells him, voice so sincere that Seokjin doesn’t dare to question it

"more like all the time" Seokjin sighs removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes, on top of everything, the night before all four kids ended up in his bed, there was a lot of crying and snuggling but very little sleep and he was currently relying on caffeine to get him through the day "after my husband died... I've grown to rely on Jin-young so much, it's ridiculous"

"hyung..." the producer furrows his eyebrows in concern

“I just don’t know how the hell you do it” Seokjin breathed out asking his head, he knew he was uptight and controlling on a good day and he envied Namjoon’s ability to remain so carefree and yet so caring, so free and yet so in control around the kids

"do what?" Namjoon asked turning his head to the side

“being a single father and working” the chef tells him putting his glasses back on

"well, I'm three kids behind you hyung" Namjoon basks on the chuckle that extracts from Seokjin before continuing "and until a year ago, I had my mom to help me, I don’t know if I could’ve done what I’ve done without having my family keep me sane" Namjoon tells him putting his hand over Seokjin’s much smaller one “so please hyung, let me help you"

"thank you, Namjoon-ah" he says and this time, he isn’t the first one to remove his hand.

Seokjin called the school to inform them that Namjoon would be picking up his son today to avoid any problems with the school's strict security protocol, when they asked if he would like to add Namjoon to the authorized pick up list, he said yes. They asked for Namjoon’s number and what his relation to Hosoek was and it felt official, he was now on the list alongside Jin-young as one of the few people in the world Seokjin could trust with his children.

Namjoon stopped by the grocery store after picking up the kids, he helped the two climb onto the cart and pulled up the list Seokjin had given him and grimaces at the very specific items listed

“Hobi do you know what coffee your daddy usually buys?” Namjoon asks holding up two bags of organic coffee, Seokjin didn’t specify whether he wanted French or Italian roast and to be quite honest Namjoon isn’t sure what the difference is

“that one” the child says pointing to the French roast, Namjoon shrugs and drops the bag on his cart and then returns the other bag to his place on the shelf “appa liked the other one, he drank a lot of coffee”

“us grownups sure love our coffee” Namjoon explains and Hobi giggles “oh look! We have to get those” the adult says pointing towards the cookie aisle

“appa, we have cookies at home” Yoongi is quick to remind him

“we have a Jungkookie at home” Namjoon grins and Hosoek cackles loudly, while Yoongi fights off a smile  

“I like grocery shopping with you” Hobi says once he stops laughing “I never did anything fun with my appa” Namjoon stops the cart and puts his hand on the child’s head

“I’m sorry Hobi, I’m sure he would’ve loved to-”

"he loved daddy very much" Hosoek interrupts, he seems to be deep in thought “but I don't think he liked me very much, he said I was loud"

"I'm sure your appa loved you very much” the adult says ruffling the child’s hair “how could anyone not like you?” Hosoek gives him a blinding smile before they continue their shopping, Namjoon makes sure to thank Hosoek and tell him how helpful he was and by the time he reunites with his brothers and father back home, there is no trace of sadness left in his face and Namjoon can only hope he stays that way. Both of their phones go off during dinner, Namjoon is the first one to pick up “Jackson-ah?”

 “Namjoon-ah, guess what?” Jackson says rather loudly

“Jin-young-ah?” Seokjin follows suit “is everything alright?”

“oh hyung’s there too, of course” his friend laughs “babe hang up they’re together” Jackson tells his boyfriend and then Seokjin is glaring at his phone when the call suddenly ends

“put us on speaker, we have news” Namjoon follows Jin-young’s instructions and Seokjin leans in closer to listen

“we’re engaged!”


	11. Chapter 11

After dinner the kids, still not done hanging out, demanded to watch a movie together, after they helped carrying their dishes back to the kitchen and put them on the sink, Seokjin turned on the tv for them, the four kids snuggled up on the carpet, grinning as the Disney logo came up on the screen, the father chuckled and headed back to the kitchen with his youngest son in his arms.

“Namjoon-ah stop!” he says when sees that the other man had already began doing the dishes, the chef walks towards him and bumps him with his hip “I’ll do it, move”

“aish hyung” Namjoon laughs but stands firm in his place “let me do it”

“you never let me do the dishes at your place” Seokjin protests with a slight pout and that pout right there is one of the cutest things he’s ever seen and Namjoon knows cuteness, he raised Yoongi, so he’s constantly surrounded by it

“hyung please, Im working here” Namjoon gives him affronted look and Seokjin snorts “washing dishes is my thing”

“your thing, huh?” the shorter man asks raising an eyebrow at him “then why did you have so many paper plates hidden in your cupboards?”

“well… when you have five-year-old and an adult that breaks everything he touches living together is better to be safe than sorry” Namjoon mumbles as he puts a dish on the drying rack “don’t worry, I won’t break any of your plates”

“oh honey, that’s Vitrelle, a tempered glass, you couldn’t break them if you wanted to” Seokjin chuckles and as he grabs another dish it slips from his hold but nothing happens to it, Namjoon on the other hand still can’t recover from being called ‘honey’

“good to know” he replies a little breathless, turns back to the dishes and tries to focus on that and only that, they fall into comfortable silence, not feeling the need to fill it up with conversation

“You got me…” after a while, Seokjin begins to sing quietly, voice airy and soothing “I look at you and I dream” Namjoon watches from the corner of his eye as Seokjin rocks Jungkook side to side, a tender look on his face as the baby puts his hand on his cheek, blinking as he fights to stay awake “I got you, those pitch black nights-” the father pauses to kiss the palm of his son's hand before it drops “we see each other’s lights, we’re saying the same things…” Seokjin’s had a funny effect on him, it was like a journey through space, until now he felt like he was floating, like gravity meant nothing to him and but after hearing his warm voice, he felt like he was falling, being pulled by the gravitational force of the star that was Seokjin, Namjoon felt that this force would either have him either on a collision course or it would cause him to orbit around Seokjin for the rest of time "you got me, I look at you and I dream..."

Namjoon turned off the faucet and turned fully towards Seokjin, who’s cradling his son in his chest and rubbing his back before placing a kiss on top of his head. He feels his heart attempts to do a backflip but ends up face planting instead, he watches for a second and just like his song said he dreams, that he is inside a bubble with Seokjin and the kids, a bubble floating through the air, so beautiful and mesmerizing until it makes contact with the outside world and suddenly it bursts, Namjoon clears his throat and Seokjin look up at him and offers him a towel "thank you, not just for doing the dishes but for everything you did today"

"of course, hyung" he gives him a small smile

"wanna go sit outside while the kids finish the movie?" Seokjin ask turning his head to the side

“sure"

"let me get this little one in bed and I'll be right back"

Namjoon closes his eyes and sits back on his chair enjoy the evening breeze, next to him Seokjin sighs and Namjoon opens his eyes to see his slim fingers fidgeting with the baby monitor "I can't believe it... They're getting married" he says all of sudden

"I can, I helped Jackson pick out the engagement ring" Namjoon tells him before he lets out a chuckle" "I've never seen him so nervous, you know?"

"As if there was a chance for Jin-young to say no" Seokjin smiles as he shakes his head and the other man nods "he's head over heels for Jackson"

"I've known Jackson for years and seen him like this--so-"

"happy?” Seokjin supplies

“in love" Namjoon smiles to himself "it's great, you know"

"I know" the brunette chuckles as the breeze tousles his hair "Jin-young deserves all the happiness in the world"

"How long has he worked with you?" the taller man asks, trying to avoid staring at Seokjin, like the piece of art he is

"five years but I've known him since he was kid, we were neighbors" he answers leaning back on his chair and setting the baby monitor on the table "you and Jackson met in college?"

"we meet during that time but we didn't go to the same school" the taller man says running his fingers through his pink hair, Seokjin wants to do the same, he’s just curious to see if despite the hair dye, it’s still as soft as it seems

“but you also studied something related to music?” he asks lifting bringing his knee to his chest

"me? No, International policy studies, Stanford" Namjoon says still trying to fix his hair

"oh” he says again because what else can you say when you find out that on top of everything else this man is a genius?

"after high school I just wanted to make music but she was so happy when I got into Stanford, that I had to do it" he says with a small shrug, fond smile on his face as he talks "my mom was ranked on the top 3% in Korea but she couldn't go college because she got pregnant at 17, my dad died after my sister was born and then we moved here, to start a new life to give us better opportunities" Seokjin watches how his nose scrunches up as he talks in that deep voice that he could listen to all day just to notice the patters of his speech, the cadence of his tone "I was drowning in student loans by the time I graduated, so after college I thought I might give it a try, you know, make some money, pay off my loans and then continue working on my music. I got accepted into an internship program and went back to Korea for a year, I hated it so much- not the country- just the job"

“so Americanized” Seokjin shakes his head and Namjoon laughs

"when I came back I just decided to focus on my music, I had feeling that I just had to give it a chance and it turned out to be right" the man smiles in a way that reminds him of a content cat

"and look at you now" Seokjin says in English “Mister famous Grammy award winner producer"

"look at me now" Namjoon says crossing his arms in front of his chest and smirking

"wow” Seokjin laughs making the other flustered “amazing!”

"stop" the man shakes his head as his chuckles die away "I'm just glad I get to earn a living doing what I love"

"yeah"

"How about you?" Namjoon asks after a beat has passed

"oh no, I didn't go to Stanford" Seokjin says and bites back a chuckle

"hyung..." the pink haired man grumbles

"I went to Le Cordon Bleu-Sookmyung Academy" he replies eventually “the school you go to doesn't matter as much as the places you work at when you’re a chef” when he turns to see if Namjoon is satisfied with his answer he realizes he’s watching him expectantly, so he continues “I always loved cooking but my father always said that was a ‘woman’s job’ I never told my parents I wanted to be a chef” he notices the subtle lift in his eyebrows so he explains “I come from an extremely conservative Namjoon-ah, conservative and wealthy. So I was supposed to study business and eventually take over my father’s company with hyung but I went behind their backs and signed up in the academy, used my allowance and savings to pay for tuition and I told my parents I was got into SNU Business School”

“and they believed you?” Namjoon asks, Seokjin turns to the open glass door leading to the living room, perhaps to make sure they don’t have any eavesdroppers

“they did, thanks to Jae Hwan” he replies after checking “when he got into SNU and helped fabricate this whole lie, he would even go over to my house to ‘study’, he just wanted to help me even- sometimes I just wanted to give up and tell them the truth about SNU and beg for their forgiveness but he said I shouldn’t- he believed in me, my talent. My parents always thought we were just friends…”

“how did they react when they found out that you’re- um”

“that I’m chef? Or that I’m gay?” Seokjin asks and then sighs “well, first they found out about my classes, hyung’s then girlfriend went to SNU and one day when he went to pick her up from her classes he decided to snoop around, found out I never even enrolled and told my parents” Namjoon’s eyes widen and the chef shrugs “when it all crashing down, my father was furious at me and at Jae Hwan, I wasn’t going drag him down with me… it wasn’t his fault, you know? then they began to question me about him, why was I protecting him? Why did he help me? How come we spent so much time together?”

“so I told them, I told the truth” Seokjin laughs humorlessly “And god, for a second it felt good, to get it off my chest and finally be sincere, I feel like such a hypocrite when I tell the kids that lying is bad because I lied so much to my parents…”

“but hyung you had to, lying was the only way you could be true to yourself” Namjoon tells leaning towards him

“I guess…” Seokjin rubs his own arm blinking hard “but then- then they disowned me, they kicked me out of the house and said never to come back again- and I haven’t- to this day. I was 20, I had no money or friends... Jae Hwan was all I had" a warm large hand finds its place on his knee as he talks "we lived in a tiny studio apartment in Seoul, I worked double shift as cook in two different restaurants while he finished school, everything changed after I got my first star, I got many job offers in America, my English was terrible but ‘Ken’ was exited to move back here, we got married so I could get American citizenship, I know it sounds bad but-” it was as if he was recalling the events for the first time, he finally gets to stand back and watch "we were together for a long time and lived together most of that time, back in Korea getting married wasn't even an option but when me moved here and same sex marriage became legal, it made sense to do it" Namjoon’s expression remained neutral as he listens “then business exploded, I became this ‘celebrity chef’ and got a lot of book offers and had investors knocking on door, my husband made the most of every opportunity, he’s the real mastermind behind all this, I’m just a cook”

“you’re a lot more than that hyung, none of this would’ve happened without you” the man tells him, voice firm and certain

“I think he knew that, you know…”  Seokjin says and once again turns to check the door “I-I never told this to anyone but he cheated on me on multiple occasions, I only confronted him once, I said I was leaving him but then- he said we should start a family- he knew I always dreamed of having kids and I knew he never wanted any but I stayed anyways because I was getting what I’d always wanted and he got to keep me, at that point I realized we were together just because it was convenient for both of us…just like my parent’s marriage, I felt awful but I was also scared to have everything taken away from me”

“he was manipulating you” Namjoon gives his knee a gentle squeeze and he nods rubbing his eyes as he feels his eyes begin to water

“but I was just as bad as he was, because when I wanted a fourth child and he said that only with the condition that it would be his biological child” at this Namjoon frowns and the brunette shakes his head “I always thought adoption was the best way to go but I accepted all his conditions, just so I could get another baby- and in the end, he never even got to meet Jungkook, I don’t know if he would’ve treated him any different because he was his actual blood band I don’t know if that’s good or bad- he just didn’t like kids”

“well, that explains a lot” he hears Namjoon’s bitterness in his voice as he covers his face with his hands as tear begin to spill from his eyes

“I’m sorry- Im sorry for dumping all of this on you all of a sudden I just-” and Seokjin gasps when he’s pulled in for a hug

“hyung, it’s okay” Namjoon’s tone and warmness is comforting so he melts into the embrace as the taller man rubs smalls circles on his shoulders “since you shared something you've never told anyone before…I feel like it's only fair I tell you this, I think you’re the only one I could ever tell this" Seokjin doesn’t want to pull back from his hold, so he readjusts himself to be able to look into his eyes "Yoongi’s mother and I were never officially together, we weren't even friends, more like acquaintances. We were on the same internship program, noona was beautiful and brilliant, she was driven and fierce but also quiet and guarded, I could never figure her out, we met outside of work a few times, we were both drunk most of the time” he hears Namjoon’s voice rumble in his chest and feels a pang of unjustified jealousy at hearing him talk about this gorgeous woman, the mother of his child, feeling absolutely ridiculous he pulls back puts some distance between them “to be completely honest, she was my last attempt at proving to myself that I was straight, turns out I’m not” Seokjin can’t hide his surprise and Namjoon only gives him a shy smile before smoothing out his tousled bangs “as I was getting ready to come back home, I found out she was pregnant…I decided to stay, I was scared as to what she would do if I didn’t, she had so many plans and dreams, I thought she just didn’t want to be a single mother in a country like south Korea, I asked her to come back to America with me but she said she didn’t want me or the baby” Namjoon averts his eyes his head drops the slightest bit “I definably wasn’t ready, I had no idea how I would manage to take care of a baby but I always wanted to be a dad and thought that this might be my only chance. So I told her I would raise it by myself, that I would just take him back home with me and she agreed, she would give me the baby and that would be the end of it, she could move on with her life” Namjoon pause and Seokjin hesitantly reaches out for his hand “but the thing is, I wasn’t even sure Yoongi was actually mine…biologically, I mean" the bigger hand returns his squeeze before continuing  "it's pretty obvious that there's not a lot of family resemblance between us- he looks a lot like his mother, pale skin, cat eyes, pouty lips and very petite” and Seokjin wonders why must it matter at all? If a child carries your blood, that didn’t stop his parents from shunning him away “but, you know, when I saw him for the first time… it didn’t matter; I didn’t care if what or who he looked like, from the moment I saw him, he was my son and that I loved him more than anything in this world”

“I can tell” the brunette gives him a smile even as more tears spill out when he hears Namjoon’s voice break

“my mom helped me out as you know but im just so lost without her, I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time” the taller man sighs blinking away tears of his own

“every parent feels like that from time to time”

“even you?” he asks and Seokjin blink

“of course, whenever the kids ask me about my husband- I just don’t know what to tell them, I don’t want to lie to them- or to myself not anymore” he tells him and begins rubbing his knuckles with his thumb his hand “you’re a good father, Namjoon-ah”

“I do my best…but even then, I feel like im always messing up, like anyone else could do a better job”

“there’s no one better than you” _‘for Yoongi’_ Seokjin doesn’t add, because he doesn’t want to or need to, when the taller man rests his head on top of his, her realizes that whatever distance he tried to put between them, they always find a way to bridge it and whatever ice walls he managed to build around himself, Namjoon managed melt away with the warmness of his heart “believe me”


	12. Chapter 12

Hosoek stretched his arms and yawned as he turned to his side, he smiles when he sees his daddy sitting in bed next to him, he reaches towards him and the adult looks up from his phone with a smile “good morning sweetie”

“morning daddy” the child greets crawling closer and resting his head on his father’s chest, nuzzling his face on his daddy’s soft pajama shirt

“sleep well?” his dad asks running his gently running his fingers through his hair to detangle his bedhead 

“uh huh, no more nightmares” he nods, he remembers waking up crying the night before, his Kermit the frog nightlight helped fend off the darkness of his room, usually his stuffed puppy Mickey was more than enough company through the night but at that moment he felt alone, he needed his daddy. Hosoek always though his father had some type of secret magical power, that maybe he was a mind reader because he always knew what he needed and when he needed and ready to give it to him, like a fairy, if you were hungry, daddy always had food, if you were cold he always had a sweater and if you were thirsty, he always had water it was like magic, how the man would make all of those appear.

Daddy used his powers for good, he was always taking care of him and his brothers, always gentle and kind, he knew just what to say to make you feel better and gave the best hugs in the world, he could use of those at the moment, as he sat up in his bed, the bedroom door opened and his dad walked in, he wanted to explain why he was crying, to tell him about his horrible nightmare but all that came out was a sob, without a word, his father picked him and Mickey up in his arms, down the hallway and towards his room, he tried to keep his crying down, not because he was embarrassed, daddy always said it was okay to cry when you’re upset but because he didn’t want to wake up his little brothers, he fell back asleep with the help of his father’s comforting touch, just like he is about to do at the moment, his father chest rumbles with a chuckle when he starts nodding off

“you can go back to sleep, its Saturday, no school today” his daddy whispers before kissing the top of his head

“no, I want to do something fun today” Hosoek says, as tired as he is, he knows that Saturday and Sundays are special, days when daddy doesn’t work and they can have fun together as a family

“of course, we’ll think of something” the father, types something on his phone and smiles, before showing him a picture of a lady and two monkeys sticking out his tongue, he giggles and lifts his head to get a better look at the picture “we could go meet all these cute animals”

“yeah!” Hobi starts clapping his hands with a grin as his dad scrolls through the page “daddy look at that kitty; it looks like Yoongi hyung” he says pointing at the picture of a yellow spotted cat snuggling a teddy bear

"that's a serval but you're right, it does kind of look like Yoongi " his dad chuckles zooming in on the picture "cute" they look at the picture for a second longer before the phone starts ringing and a picture of Namjoon and Yoongi pops out on the screen “hi Namjoon-ah” his father answers the phone with a little smile he always had on whenever he talked to Namjoon

"Hey hyung, are you busy?" the man greets through the phone after his daddy puts it on speaker before he continues scrolling

"I'm just hanging out with Hobi-"

"Hi Yoongi's appa!" Hosoek greets bringing the phone closer to himself, he got hang out with his hyung at school just yesterday but the two hadn’t visited in a couple of days. Hobi really liked it when Namjoon and Yoongi visited not just because he got to play with his hyung but his father was also really fun to be around, he played with him and his brothers, he would make up silly dances and just goof around with them

“hey Hobi! How are you buddy?” But Namjoon was also really nice to talk to, he always asked them how they were feeling and he listened to everything they had to say, actually paid attention to him and it felt nice to have that with someone besides his daddy

"I was a little sad because I had a nightmare last night” he tells him and the hears the man humming

“you know it’s only a dream, right?” the adult tells him and he snuggles closer to his father

“I know… but it was still scary” he mumbles

“yeah, nightmares can be pretty scary” Namjoon tells him as his father rubs his back

“You have nightmares too?” he asks lifting his head

“we all have them from time to time, Hobi” the man tells him “you just have to remember that you’re safe, they can’t hurt you”

“I’m safe, they can’t hurt me” he repeats nodding his head “where’s hyung?”

“he’s still asleep” the man tells him and he hears rustling noises “I’m making breakfast for him”

“don’t burn the house down!” his daddy teases and they all laugh

“I think I can manage to make some oatmeal now, thanks to you” Yoongi’s father says and his dad smile widens before he covers his mouth with his hand “what are you guys doing today?”

“daddy says we're going to see cute animals today" he tells him with a grin

“cute animals? that's awesome!” 

“yeah, do you want to come with us?" he asks because, why not? Namjoon was really smart and always taught them a lot of interesting things, surely he knows a lot about animals too and it was just nice to have the father and son around

“I would love to Hobi but-"

"it's family fun day" he tells him before he can say no "so you and Yoongi hyung have to come too, please?”

"uh…let me talk to your daddy for a sec-" as Namjoon says this his father brings the phone to his ear and Hosoek can only hear muffled voices

"we're going to 'animal tracks', it's an animal rescue organization, they say you can pet all the animals there, so it might be fun” his daddy tells the man "I'm booking the tour right now, I'll ask Jackson and Jin-young if they want to come along too, it says there's a couple of restaurants nearby but I'll pack some snacks just I case" and Hoseok is already doing a small celebratory dance because he knows his daddy already managed to convince the other man to join them “I’ll tell the happy couple to meet us there, do you want me to pick you guys up? alright, see you at 10!"

“bye!" Hoseok says as his daddy is about to hang up, he stands up on the bed and begins to bounce excitedly “daddy come on! We have to get ready”

“we still have plenty of time sweetie” his father chuckles putting his phone on the nightstand “want to help me make breakfast for brothers?”

“okay! I want to have oatmeal, like Yoongi hyung” he says as his father stands up

“alright, come here” the man opens his arms and Hoseok jumps into his arms giggling, he might have woken up his brothers but he’s too excited about the day ahead at the moment to care.

Jin-young knew he would have a lot of work to catch up with after his short vacation, taking a week out of the year to travel to beautiful island with his now fiancé was more than worth it, the moment Jackson slid that ring on his finger, he felt like he was floating through the air but he worried about his boss the whole time he was away, four kids are a lot to handle even for someone that isn’t running a whole business empire and balancing multiple ongoing projects, so of course he worried, Seokjin isn’t just his employer, he’s his best friend. He felt an unbreakable loyalty towards the man, the chef had offered him the job when he first moved to America, he learned more in a few months being his assistant than in all the years in business school, so he was well aware of all the work it took to run Seokjin’s life and business.  The first thing he did after landing that Friday was call Seokjin, he was refreshed and renewed and more than ready to get back to work but the man made it clear that he wouldn’t be needing him until Monday, that everything was taken care off for the week, it strikes him as odd but he relented nevertheless, on Saturday morning while he was having breakfast with his fiancé, he receives a text from his hyung, surprisingly it’s not work related, he was inviting them to  a ‘family fun day’ as Hobi likes to call them.

The ride was a bit longer than they expected but they made it on time for their tour, Jackson and him were arrived only a few minutes before Seokjin parks his car not far from theirs, Namjoon is the first one out, he goes around the car to open Seokjin’s door, takes his bag as the shorter man opens the backseat door, the first one out is Jungkook, Namjoon hold the baby in his arms as Seokjin helps the rest of the kids out of the car, once everyone is out of the car, Namjoon passes the youngest child to Seokjin after he straps on a baby carrier

“the Kims are here” Jackson whispers as they walk to join the rest of their party, Jin-young chuckles and elbows him lightly, but he has to admit to himself that the two look good together, add the kids to the mix and they looked like an actual family “They looked like those airport pictures of celebrity couples traveling with their children” Jackson ads “except, they’re not a couple” Jin-young tells him a grimace

“not yet at least” his fiancé winks and he can only smile and shake his head at him

The animals at the sanctuary were ridiculously friendly, they got to meet the hedgehogs, ferrets and the fennec fox, now they were on their way to seeing the kangaroos. Having two more adults made the parents feel a little more in control of the situation, though the kids were on their best behavior it’s better to be safe than sorry especially when there’s five kids under the age of five and wild animals involved.

Namjoon was holding the twin’s hands, the two giggled as they jumped imitating the animal on their way to the enclosure, Jackson carried Hoseok on his back, Seokjin was leading the group with Jungkook and holding Yoongi’s hand as he talked to owner of the sanctuary, Stacy. Jin-young began filming them as they walked, they all smiled and waved at the cameras, everyone except for Namjoon, he kept his gaze forward so didn’t notice the camera on him, he seemed to constantly get distracted by Seokjin, carefully watched as the brunette interacted with his son. Yoongi, who was significantly quieter than the other kids seemed to have no problem chatting it up with the chef.

as they got closer to the entrance of the enclosure, the twins released themselves from Namjoon’s hold and headed towards the woman, their older brother in their heels after Jackson puts lets him down “alright everyone! Who’s ready to meet some kangaroos?” Stacy asked once the kids had gathered around her, this time even Yoongi raised his hand the other one still holding onto Seokjin’s

“are you alright? You seem distracted” Jin-young commented as he pushed his phone into the pocket of his jeans once again, the man sighs as his gaze travels to Seokjin, who’s already smiling at him, when their eyes meet, the chef gives him a little wave, which he returns before turning back to him

“I’m fine” he says and even if Jin-young hasn’t know him for long, he can tell that there was something bothering him but refuses to talk about it, he simply gives him a small smile and begins to walk away

“that’s the Seokjin effect” Jackson says in a mock whisper, wrapping his arm around his fiancé’s waist

"Jackson..." Jin-young says through gritted teeth

“admit it, you’re crushing on him bigtime!” his fiancé only laughs as Namjoon glares at him over his shoulder, before joining the rest of their group

The team at 'animal tracks' were ready to answer the kid's and adult's questions alike, Namjoon seemed as excited as the children to learn about the rescued fauna, everyone gathers around the tour guide as she shared some fun facts about the marsupials, but when Seokjin makes his way towards the shade, Jin-young decides to follow after him "do you want some? " father asks holding up the sunscreen after he re applied it on his youngest son's face

"thanks" he accepts the tube, squeezing some cream into his hands "I got really tanned this week"

"it looks good on you; you look great" he says with that warm smile of his “did you have a good time?"

"I had the best time, the island was beautiful and there's so many things to do-" he tells him thinking back on all the things he thought his hyung and the kids would enjoy "I loved the hotel, the spa is amazing, the food is pretty decent and they the best suites"

"you deserved that vacation, you work too hard" his boss tells him

"look who's talking" he replies applying a thin layer of sunscreen on his face "I don't see you taking any vacation time"

"my whole life is a vacation compared to yours, you do all the hard work for me" Seokjin says with a shrug "I wouldn't have survived this week without Namjoon’s help, he was truly a life saver, picked up Hobi from school and watched the kids for a few hours, helped me with the dishes and the groceries--he even got the right type of coffee"

"should I worry about him taking my place?" Jin-young asks handing him the tube back and his hyung chuckles

"oh please, you're irreplaceable" he says putting the sunscreen back in his bag "but it was nice of him, you know? he's a good...friend"

“friend?"

“yeah" Jin-young chooses to remain silent for now he watches as Seokjin's eyes travel to the group standing in the sun, Namjoon is smiling down at Taehyung as the wide eyed boy asks yet another question, the chef watches them with fond eyes, a look that has found permanent residence on the Seokjin’s face whenever he looks at his children. Before them many would've described the famous chef as inpatient, uncompromising, tough as nails and hard to please, he exuded confidence, to the point that it bordered in arrogance, that combined with princely aura and incredibly handsome face made him feel unapproachable to many but it also cemented him as a star, known to the public for way more than just his cooking, becoming a father had softened all his sharp edges, still, seeing Seokjin direct one of his softest smiles towards someone other than his children was a rare thing, yet Namjoon often seems to be in the receiving end of them

"hyung-"

"you know-"

“you go first” the assistant insists when they both speak at the same time

“I was just thinking of adding two more weeks to your paid vacation" his boss says with a shrug

"wait-what?"

"so you can plan your wedding and honeymoon around it" he tells him with a smile

"oh hyung that's--wow you're the best" Jin-young laughs giving him a quick hug

“I just want you to enjoy your big day” his hyung says as they pull away

 "you know, we talked about it and we don't want a big ceremony" Jin-young tells him, looking down at Jungkookie and bopping his tiny nose "we just want our close family and friends but we were thinking about having the ceremony at vomo island"

"wait second- I thought that you were going to ask me to cater your wedding not fly to the middle of the pacific with my five children-" Seokjin says, pout already forming on his lips

"uh... four” Jin-young corrects and Seokjin only blinks “you have four kids"

"well yeah but Yoongi is coming too, isn't he? So yeah, five children on an eight-hour flight..."

“it’s actually eleven hours” the assistant says scratching the back of his neck

"eleven?” his bosses’ eyes are wide as he gasps “Jin-young-ah, really!”

“Namjoon is coming too hyung, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to help out with the kids” the younger man tells grabbing his hand with a smile "you'll have the time of your life"

"still, I'm not completely sold on the idea” Seokjin shakes his head before gently squeezing his hand “but if it means that much to you"

"it would hyung" he grins, the other man simply nods

"have you settled on a date yet?" the chef asks

“we want to pick a date that works for everyone" he explains "so maybe late December"

“of this year?!” Seokjin lets go of his hand “that’s two months from now!”

“well… yeah” Jin-young laughs as his hyung brings with his hands to his face "Jackson and Namjoon will be done with their bigger projects and you're almost done with your book- oh by the way, the publisher wants to meet with you to talk about the promotions, they want to do a book tour by mid-November, before the holyday season and I know you wanted to take it easy this year but could visit your other locations while you're on tour, they're all doing well now but you haven't been to some of them in over a year and-"

"yeah, I know" Seokjin sighs again, face still hidden by his hands “time to get back to reality"

"sorry hyung, I know it’s a lot but-” the shift in Seokjin’s mood is clear to him, so decides to drop the subject for now

"we really shouldn't be talking about work right now; we can do that on Monday" Seokjin’s hands drop from his face to wrap them around his baby “let’s just have fun now”

"alright hyung..."

After leaving the animal sanctuary they decide to grab lunch at the only restaurant nearby, they sit at the biggest booth at the Mexican food place, the kids dig into their food and the table quiets down except for the Namjoon and Seokjin’s chatter, the assistant wonders if either of them is aware of this, but when they’re together, it’s like they’re in a world of their own, they laugh at each other’s terrible jokes, constantly complement each other and they listen intently whenever the other speaks, the food before them completely forgotten as the producer tells the chef about his first winning a Grammy “they present it to you, right? They call your name and you go on stage and thank everyone and then you take a few pictures with the trophy but then you actually have to return it” Namjoon tells him, his body almost fully turned towards Seokjin, who’s sitting beside him, Jin-young had heard this story from both producers before so takes the opportunity to carefully watch their interactions

“what? really?” Seokjin asks, elbow propped on the table and face cheek resting on his hand

“yeah, then two weeks later I get this random package in the mail, I open it and there’s my Grammy” Namjoon says excitedly gesturing with his hands “but it was dented, honestly-”

“are you sure you didn’t drop it Namjoon-ah?” Seokjin teases and laughs at the affronted look on Namjoon’s face

“aish, hyung!” the younger man says between laughs and gives his elder a gentle slap in the knee

“just saying!” Seokjin keeps laughing even as he leans in closer and as he places his hand on top of Namjoon’s

“hyung, I swear!” the producer tries to defend himself, not even attempting to move his hand from the other man’s knee “Jackson-ah, it was already dented, right?” His friend had given up trying to squeeze into the conversation long ago, so now he just eats his burrito and ignoring the two men before him

“uh-huh” Jackson says as he takes a sip of his orchata

“seriously, hyung!” the man whines and Seokjin shakes his head at him

“alright, I believe you” the chef says bumping Namjoon with his wide shoulders, the smiles they exchange make Jin-young advert his eyes and looks down at his plate, feeling like he’s intruding on a private moment.

Seokjin lost his husband less than a year ago, no one other than Seokjin say if whether he's ready or not to start dating, the man has never shown even the most remote interest in anyone, until now.

On the other hand, Namjoon has never publicly dated anyone, he has kept the identity of Yoongi's mother a secret and usually refuses to talk about his sexuality. And maybe he's just a private person but Jin-young still worries that maybe his hyung's affections are directed to the wrong person but at the same time he highly doubts Seokjin’s feelings aren’t reciprocated.

After lunch they’re ready to go their separate ways, all the kids are strapped on their car seats some of them already nodding off, Seokjin climbs on the driver seat first, Namjoon is about to open his door when he turns to the newly engaged couple and sighs

“I don’t have a crush on him” Namjoon says lowly

“keep telling yourself that” Jackson rolls his eyes before the other continues

“I think im way pass a simple crush… I think ... I think I love him-" the man shifts his weight and fidgets with his phone, he looks terrified, uncertain “I was going to ask him out this morning but I got scared”

"wow" Jackson simply says and Namjoon sighs, opens the door and gets in the car, the two watch as the black suv drives away in silence “I wasn't expecting that…" his fiancé says shaking his head

“I know…”

“now what?” Jackson asks and Jin-young blinks a few times

“I- I don’t know”


	13. Chapter 13

Seokjin has been starting at his hands on the keyboard for a good five minutes, counting each scar on his crooked fingers, he remembers how and he got each of them, most of them he got during his first year in culinary school, before he had polished his knife skills and was too young and reckless to take the necessary precautions around fire, they're mostly fade by now but the lessons they taught them are permanently engraved in his mind.

He blinks a couple of times, his contacts had dried out, his face oily and he's more than ready to change into his pajamas but he's still has to reply to this last email, after the meeting last week, he knew it was coming, that they would give him a date for the launch and the book tour, but seeing the date on the screen written in bold letters forced him to confront the reality of it all. He's done this before of course, he has a few successful books under his belt, this process isn't new to him but the circumstances are, the last time he did this was almost two years ago, Jimin and Taehyung were just babies and Hoseok was just tiny toddler and Jungkook was still just a promise made by his husband, but he'd began the process of finding a surrogate, even with all this Seokjin was ready to start the book tour, he was used to traveling back and forth, across the country and abroad to check on his restaurants and even open new ones, he was always moving on to the next thing.

His husband always encouraging him and suggesting new ideas and there was a time when he needed that, after his parents disowned him, he found himself spiraling into a dark place, he just wanted to crawl into a hole and wait for his death but Ken wouldn't allow that, they dug themselves into this whole and they would get out of it together, by whatever means necessary, Seokjin needed that push and pressure to succeed, a will live, basically, They made a great team but not a great marriage.

So he did it, he gave it his all and he achieved great things, went beyond any and every expectation, so where do you go from there? It's like being lost but instead of stopping you just keep walking hopping to find the way eventually.

But right now, Seokjin doesn't want to move on, he likes where he's at, he likes taking care of his children and his home, he likes having time to do simple things like preparing their meals, going grocery shopping, tucking them in at night, even doing the dishes and laundry is comforting for him, cause he can do it calmly, he can be a hundred percent present in the moment and not thinking about this and that project and due dates. He likes having his friends over, just to hang out instead of going to business parties for the sake of networking. He likes spending time with kids, Yoongi blends in with his boys incredibly well, he's a calm and steady energy among the chaotic and unpredictable force of nature and that are his sons, an energy that somehow manages to balance them.

And Namjoon... Seokjin likes spending time with him too, he's so sweet and smart and incredibly funny, he brings out Seokjin’s goofier side, he feels safe being himself around him.

He laughs until he cries with him, they can talk about everything and nothing at all but they can also have comfortable silence and enjoy the peace that being together brings him, when he's with Namjoon he's relaxed, he's at home.

He still has to answer to the email, he still has to shower, wash his face, change his clothes and figuere many things out but sleep is gaining up on him and his office chair begins to feel more and more confortable as his eyelids grow heavier.

the baby monitor goes off, filling Seokjin's  room with Jungkook's cries, automatically without needing to even open his eyes, he sits up on and goes to throw his legs over the edge, a hand on his waist stops him, his eyes fly open as quickly turns around "go back to sleep, I got it"

Seokjin blinks at least five times before nodding his head but makes no move to lay back down, Jae Hwan simply gives him a sleepy smile before getting out of the bed, as he walks through the door Seokjin feels the need to follow, his husband heads for the nursery without hesitation, opens the door and walks towards the crib, Jungkook crying immediately turns into whining as he stands up and reaches out for his father, Seokjin is frozen by the door, watching. Jae Hwan picks up the child and goes to sit on the rocking chair by the window “see? I got it” he tells him, rocking back and forth

“Right… I-I’ll go make some breakfast” Seokjin says backing away from the room trying to make sense of what he just saw, he rushes down the hall and goes downstairs to the kitchen, the familiarity of cooking give him a grounding reassurance, his many thoughts put on hold momentarily, he moves in autopilot as he grabs his favorite pot and gets to work on some galbitang as he stirs the pot he realizes that food is almost ready in a manner of seconds after turning on the stove, he blinks in confusion but soon forgets about  it when he hears his children calling for him “daddy!” Taehyung is the first to reach him

“Hi Tae Tae” he says kissing his cheek

“Me too!” Jimin protests before receiving his kiss

“Where’s Hobi?”

“Upstairs with Yoongi hyung” Jimin answers crossing his pajama clad arms

“They won’t let us in their room” Taehyung pouts holding onto his father’s pajama pant leg

“Their room?” he asks frowning

“It’s okay Tae, we won’t let them in our room!” Jimin tilts his head back and yells at the ceiling

“But I want them in our room… I wanna play with them” the taller twin grumbles

“I wanna play with them too” the smaller boy pouts, lip wobbling as he looks up to his father “daddy make them play with us” Seokjin can’t help but to smile at adorable toddlers  

“Hoseok? Yoongi?” he calls and hears the sound of footsteps rushing down the stairs

“Yes?” the older boys ask peaking inside the kitchen

“Breakfast is almost ready, can you please help me set the table?” he asks and the two slowly make their way towards him “Tae and Jimin can help you”

“Alright” Hobi nods smiling at his younger siblings, the twins look more than happy to help, already heading for the drawer where they keep their spoons and chopsticks, Seokjin grabs some bowls and hands them over to Yoongi

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” he asks the child

“I can do it” the boy says grabbing the bowls and heading to the dining room

“Be careful!” Seokjin calls after him

 “Okay, daddy!” Yoongi says and Seokjin is once again confused but decides that he actually doesn’t mind, he doesn’t mind at all. So he goes back to his pot, ladling some soup into his Limoges casserole, as fancy as the porcelain makes the dish look, this is the stuff he grew up eating, there was always leftover stew that they would heat up or make a quick bokkeumbap , he’s always happy to serve his family recipes from their home.

“Smells good, what did you make?” his husband asks appearing behind him

“galbitang” he replies and the man hums, Seokjin can feel him coming closer but he chooses to focus on the food even as he wraps arms around his waist “where’s Kookie?” Seokjin asks when the man starts nuzzling the back of his neck

“Went back to sleep” deep voice rumbles against his skin causing him to shudder and to put down the ladle, the voice sounds so different and yet so familiar

“And the baby monitor?” he asks bringing his hand to the other man’s wrist

“right here” Seokjin looks down and sees that he’s holding the baby monitor in his left hand, he nods but the man’s hands catch his eye, his skin looks tanner, his fingers much longer and the wedding ring on it seems completely different and so is his own, rose gold instead of silver, he leans back and tilts his head back, his husband wasn’t this tall before, he frowns and looks down, carefully examines the other man’s hand, he tangles their fingers together and it feels new, how small his hand feels and well they fit together, butterflies in his stomach as gets a kiss on his cheek

“Daddy!” Hoseok calls from the dining room

“Come on, the kids are hungry” he pulls away, as the other man walks away he freezes in place yet again, holding his hand to his cheek, a tingle of excitement he hasn’t felt around his husband in years.

“We should go to the aquarium today” his husband says while they eat

“What’s that?” Hobi asks with mouth full

“It’s a place where you can see water animals and plants that live in the water” the adult explains around a mouthful of his own

“Like the beach?” Yoongi asks and the man shakes his head, finally swallowing his food

“not really, the aquarium is a special building with glass windows, like a giant fish bowl and you get to learn all about the animals and plants and-”

“The beach sound a lot more fun” the eldest child says wrinkling his nose

“I’m with Yoongi on this one” Seokjin chuckles “I think they would get scared of the sharks”

“Oh no, that would be you” his husband teases

“I’m not” the chef huffs “I’d just rather go to the beach”

“Now what I think about it the beach doesn’t sound so bad” the man winks at him smiling wide, dimples in display “at least I get to see you in a bathing suit”

“What are you saying?” Seokjin laughs, covering his face with his hands to hide the blush

“I’m looking forward to our beach day” he wiggles his eyebrows at him                               

“Stop!” he gently slaps the man’s thigh, there’s no use hiding the blush, it has spread from his cheeks to his ears so he just lowers his head

“Just saying, I married a ten” he shrugs grabbing his hand and kissing it

“Aish Namjoon-ah!” his head snaps back and he gasps when he realizes that it’s actually him sitting by his side “what? I- I’m… excuse me” Seokjin gets up from the table and rushes to his office, there he frantically searches for his framed wedding photo and the box where he keeps both his and Jae Hwan’s rings

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-” he says taking off his current wedding ring to put the old one back on

“It’s okay” a voice says and this time, it really is him, his husband takes the box from his hands “let go”

“No” he says stubbornly, even as his eyes fill with tears

“Let go, it’s okay” his husbands voice is tired but softer than he’s ever heard it before “it’s time”

“I can’t-” he argues but his voice breaks with a sob, he hangs his head low, feeling ashamed and guilty for some reason as he admits “I want to- but I can’t”

“It’s okay hyung” its Namjoon voice now, ever comforting as he picks the new ring up from the ground before taking a hold of his left hand and sliding the ring into his finger, Seokjin lets his hand fall to his side and allows Namjoon to close the distance between them, murmuring “it’s okay” as he leans in for a kiss.

As he wakes up in from his dream, Seokjin realizes with a startle how deep he’d allowed his feelings for the man to run but Namjoon it’s a home Seokjin can't stay in, he stayed long enough to lay the foundation but he won’t allow for anything else to be built, after all this isn’t real, this isn’t his life, he just took a year to give it a try but now he has to go back to what it was. He knew this from the beginning, he has to keep moving, just like in the kitchen, you have to move at a pace and keep your movements precise to avoid harm and now that the book research is over he has to move on to the next stage, one that doesn't involve Namjoon


	14. Chapter 14

"Yoongi?" Namjoon called from the kitchen out but got no response, he closes the rice cooker and sets the ladle on the kitchen counter before rushing towards his son’s room "Yoongi? He calls again when he opens the door and walks in almost tripping over his son and stumbling forward in the process “oh, hey buddy”

“Hey” Yoongi greets taking his headphones off and yawning as if his father didn’t almost step on him

"What are you listening to?” Namjoon asks sitting down on the floor next to where his son is laying, Yoongi lifts the tablet and hands it over to his father “Eminem, the ringer” the man reads the tittle and grimaces as he closes the YouTube app "That's a good song but…remember what I we talked about- that if you hear a word you don't know in a song-"

"To ask you what it means before using it" Yoongi says sitting up before he shrugs with his nose scrunched “he raps very fast so I don't even know what he is saying but I like the music"

"oh okay, cool" Namjoon shrugs too, the two just stare at each other for a second before he remembers why he came here in the first place "are you hungry?" The man asks as he gets on his feet, the boy only stretches out his arms and gives little nod in response

"when you're hungry, chicken is the best!" the father says bending over to grab his son's tiny hands "Boom chika chika ah-" he groans as he pulls the child up, making him giggle "oh man, you're getting heavy! Appa needs to hit the gym so he can keep up with you" Yoongi only laughs as they walk towards the dining room, the boy had gained a couple of pounds recently, before he was always dangerously close to being underweight, on his last doctor appointment, the pediatrician informed Namjoon that Yoongi had a healthy weight for his age and height, he was eating well now and it showed, he was a lot more energetic, talkative and overall happier than before, Namjoon didn't think that was even possible but with his chubbier cheeks he's even cuter than before, Namjoon serves two bowls of rice and places the baking tray in the center of the table cuts the chicken into bite-sized pieces for them to grab with their chopsticks, just because he's cooking now doesn't mean he's mastered fine dining plating, it's just him and Yoongi tonight after all and if they have to eat kimchi straight from the jar in order spare himself  a dish or two to wash later, that's just what they're going to do.

So they each grab a spoon and dig into their rice first, it's funny how such a simple things as a bowl of steaming  rice and homemade kimchi can make a difference when you're having a meal. Namjoon remembers his mother's giant kimchi making red plastic tub and her crouching on the floor over a cutting board cutting a seemingly endless amount of Napa cabbage and how their old beat up rice cooker always had some warm rice left, whether he had a late night craving or needed an after school meal, he understands now why it was the first thing Seokjin had insisted on investing on, it just makes sense in a Korean household.

The kimchi they're having today is Seokjin's last batch, the chef said kimchi making season is just around the corner so maybe Namjoon will volunteer for the task and maybe then he will gain a greater appreciation for his mother, who always made sure to have kimchi on the table for him and his sister and then for Yoongi, even on her last days.

"Appa... why is uncle Jackson getting married?" the boy asked after swallowing his first bite of rice, Namjoon smiled, happy to see his son on chatty moods more often these days.

"Because he and Jinyoung want to be a family" he replied and Yoongi nodded thoughtfully

"are you and my eommoni married?" the boy asks after a pause, he knows that Yoongi has been learning about families at school and Namjoon had been expecting this type of questions but that doesn’t mean he’s sure on how to answer them

"Uh... No buddy, we're not but we-" he wants to say that it doesn't matter if they're not married, that even if they don’t love each other,  they love him no matter what but Namjoon can only speak for himself. Yoongi's mother has never tried to contact him, it's like she forgot about their existence and pretended that she didn't gave birth to a beautiful boy,  that she had son that looks exactly like her, living on the other side of the world. Namjoon heard she was doing well, she had a good job that set her on a good career path and he doesn't resent her at all, actually he thinks she did the right thing for Yoongi, cause he gets to grow up with a parent that actually wanted him and allowed him to grow with an stable family life and not having to see his parents fighting all the time but Namjoon doesn't know how to explain that to a 5 year old

"Why don't you have a wife?" The boy asks and it stings, he knows Yoongi is just curious but at the same time, it feels like his way of asking for more, because Namjoon wasn’t enough and he needs a mother to make up for it. And what’s worst is that Namjoon can never give him that, he can’t force Yoongi’s birth mother to be a part of his life and he can just go and meet a nice woman, marry her and give Yoongi the mom he wants, he just can’t. He can’t change what and who he is, he’s been doing that his whole life and only now he’s coming to accept his reality, he also knows that he goes to a very progressive school and they don't stick to only teaching the kids about the traditional family structure which is fortunate really because Yoongi's family and surroundings are far from traditional and Namjoon raised him to be accepting and open minded, so with all that, now it seems pretty pointless to hide the truth from his son "because... I'm gay" he says and his son turns his head to the side

"What does that mean?" he asks, curiosity shinning in his eyes as he sets his spoon on the table

"It means... It means I like men, not women" his father tells him and the boy blinks a couple of times before nodding

"Like... How Uncle Jackson likes Jinyoung? “Yoongi says still trying to figure it out

"Uh yeah but they don't just like each other, they're in love" he corrects raising his water glass to his lips and Yoongi hums

"Okay, so... Why don't you have a husband? If you did would he be my dad, right?" the boy asks, Namjoon chokes and does his best not to cough his lungs out while his son watches him intently, waiting for a response "if uncle Jackson can get one- must not be that hard to get one" the boy presses

"Yoongi... “he croaks out, he kind of wants to laugh at the backhanded compliment though, the boy has a sharp tongue and an even sharper mind, he's observant and inquisitive, Namjoon is proud of those traits but he also doesn't feel like discussing the failure that is his love life with his child.

"Just saying... you should find someone to be in love with" the boy shrugged like it was the most obvious solution before looking down at his now empty bowl "can I have more rice?"

“uh- yeah, sure" Namjoon's still recovering from the whiplash that conversation gave him as he stands up and scoops more rice into their bowls "here, look Yoongi-" the boy raises an eyebrow at him, but then Namjoon's phone starts ringing and he picks it up from the table "hold on- gomo is face timing us" he says and Yoongi only hums turning his attention back to his food

“hi oppa!" his sister greets when the video call connects

“hey min-ah" he says as he sits next to his son and lowers the phone so she can see her nephew

“Hi Yoongles! Omo! You look like a steamed dumpling" she waves at the child, dimples much like his own appearing on her face as she smiles

"Hey!"  Namjoon says giving her a look but the child only scoops more rice into his mouth

“and you look like an egg" he says very calmly around the mouthful and Geonmin throws her head back with a laugh

“Why you little-”

"Okay! Enough, be nice guys" the father says putting his free hand on Yoongi's head

"Alright, let's start again" the young woman clears her throat "hello my dearest nephew, I trust you are doing well"

"Uh... Yeah" the boy shrugs refocusing on his meal

"Eloquent, as always I see" she says gasping when she looks at her older brother "oppa, why is your hair purple?"

“Uh-"

"Seriously, it was pink just last week! Your hair is going to fall off if you keep dyeing it like that" Geonmin rants and her brother sighs, his sister might be younger but she´s always been bossy, headstrong, assertive, and decisive and she didn’t agree with you, she would make sure you knew

"I'm just trying something new" he tells her and she raises an eyebrow at him

"Alright" she says unimpressed "grape hair aside, how are you doing?"

“pretty good, I'm taking the day off tomorrow- to go look at some places with the real estate agent" he tells his sister, choosing to ignore her jab

"You’re really moving?" she asks

"I don't know" he begins while looking around, the apartment feels even smaller now that he's unpacked most of his boxes and even smaller when he has people over, more specifically a certain family of five, with small kids running around, a busy kitchen and a full table "if I find the right place with room for a home studio and closer to Yoongi's school... I'm still not sure though, I don't want to rush into things- like you always do"

"Better than overthinking and never getting things done!" she counters

"Shut up" he grumbles with no bite to his words, because well, she’s right. Namjoon does tend to overthink, he runs through every scenario in his head, he thinks too far ahead or every single possible outcome and in the end he’s so overwhelmed that he ends up getting stuck, so instead of arguing with the facts he decides to change the topic “how about you? How are you doing?”

“oh I’m good” she says, there’s rustling as she shifts on her bed, she tells him about her week at work, about a dinner party she went to, how she was thinking about getting a new laptop and how she finally finished the last season of the show he had long ago recommended to her while ate her dinner, Geonmin was great at small talk, at making conversation, growing up, while Namjoon spent her weekend nights hunched over his laptop, switching back and forth, from his school work to FL studio, she spent them out at parties or hosting gathering with her friends, the truth is, Namjoon misses his little sister, she was the only one that could drag him to the outside world when he’d been holed up in his room for days, she misses when she made him watch old dramas in the living room with their mother. She’d moved to Pennsylvania to attend Pen state a few years ago and ended up staying after graduating, so now, face timing every now and then was all they had.  So he listens to her, while he eats his dinner, until her ranting comes to an end when she yawns "I think I’m gonna go to bed, I have to be up early” she tells him and he nods “I'll call you tomorrow!"

“Alright, bye!

"Bye Yoongi, gomo loves you too much!" she adds when he's about to end the call

"Okay, bye!" the boy says ending the call for him, Namjoon gives him a pointed look "she already knows" Yoongi shrugs getting off his seat, isn’t that how it goes? Most of the times we just assume people know how we feel about them and we forget that they’re not mind readers that maybe our action do show it but it’s nice to give a confirmation from time to time.

“yeah but it still makes people happy to hear it from time to time" he tells his son while picking up the dishes and Namjoon knows that he should listen to his own advice, for weeks now, he’d been putting it off, despite having many chances to do it, he haven’t dared to do it, to talk to Seokjin, to tell him how he felt and maybe ask him out on a date.

He fears rejection of course, Seokjin was a dream come true, it’s simply math really, even if the odds are against him and there’s a large chance that he’s fated to remain as just a dream, there’s also a small probability, that he could be a reality, his reality.

So maybe he’ll get a ‘yes’, maybe he’ll get a ‘no’ or perhaps even a ‘not now’ but at least he’ll get a response and he won’t spend the rest of his days wondering what could’ve been if he only dared.

"Okay, I’ll tell her next time then"  

Namjoon made the same promise to himself about Seokjin.


	15. Chapter 15

Seokjin rushed inside the building, he was late, Kim Seokjin was never late. He pushed the expensive stroller through the foyer and headed towards the elevators, where Jinyoung was waiting for him, holding the door open for him. Seokjin got in and the doors closed, he sighed releasing the white knuckled grip he had on the stroller’s handlebar, Jungkook babbling happily, undisturbed by his rush.

“Where are Jiminie and Tae?” was the first thing Jinyoung asked, Seokjin was supposed to bring his three youngest with him to the meeting, a nanny had been hired to keep an eye on them for the day, today they would discuss the book tour in detail, these type of meetings tended to go on for hours as there were endless details to go over. And he was ready, believe him, he was ready to go into the meeting with the twins and his baby after he dropped Hoseok off at school but he didn’t count on the Jimin and Taehyung having one of their worst meltdowns, right there at the school’s parking lot and of course Namjoon had to show up and offer to help, first by taking Hoseok to his classroom and then by offering to watch the twins for a day.

“With Namjoon” he willing to spend his day off babysitting the two hyperactive kids and Seokjin wasn’t in a position to refuse the help, so he much to the twin’s joy, he allowed it. Both kids waved at him with grins on their faces as they parted way on the parking lot, his boys had never separated to willingly from him, especially Jimin, but the little one seemed to have made a special connection with the man from their first interaction on that very parking lot.

“Oh” Seokjin can tell when Jinyoung chooses to hold his tongue, it’s a difficult thing to have your closest friend working for you, he knows Jinyoung has something to say about this but as his assistant he chooses not to step over the line, but maybe he should. He should tell Seokjin to stop, stop relying so much on a man that wasn’t a part of his life until a few months ago and that that could be gone just as easily

“Yeah” Seokjin grumbles, pulling out his phone, Namjoon said he would keep him posted and Seokjin secretly hoped to receive one or two pictures of him and the kids.

“Hyung… what is going on between you two?” well there it is, he dared to step over it.

 “Nothing is going on” he replied perhaps a little too fast, pausing before putting his phone back in his pocket

“It’s just that… you two spend a lot of time together-” the assistant shrugged with a small smile on his face

“For the book, we’ve been working on the book” Seokjin says shifting his weight from side to side nervous under his friend’s gaze

“You two get together at least twice a week-”

 “Yes but-”

“But the book is done now, it has been for a couple of weeks-” the man continues with a light tone that matches his smile

“but-but he doesn’t… I haven’t told him yet” Seokjin admits looking down at his hand and nervously playing with the ring on his finger

“But hyung… why?” Jinyoung asks tilting his head

“I don’t know; I know this is wrong-”

“Lying to him its wrong” his friend tells him, putting his hand on his shoulder “but if you want to hang out with him if you like him, that’s okay-”

“No it’s not okay” his boss muttered, turning look at the elevator doors, lips pouted as they got when he was annoyed so Jinyoung decides to remove his hand “I don’t have time to ‘hang out’ anyways, with everything I have going on”

“But you can make the time… Namjoon-ssi is a great guy, the kids adore him and you two get along so well- I can tell you care a lot about him and Yoongi, hyung I haven’t see you this happy in very long time” the younger man insisted, reaching for his hand instead, his eyes widen and he hesitated when he noticed his wedding ring “I know it must be hard for you but-”

“Jinyoung, can we not talk about this right now? I’m about to walk into a very important meeting” Seokjin sad folding his hands across his chest, concealing the ring on his finger, he’d stopped wearing it months ago and hadn’t felt guilty about if until now.

“Fine” Jinyoung said mimicking his posture and looking straight ahead, the elevator doors opened and Seokjin rushed out, pushing the stroller in front of him towards the nanny who was waiting outside the conference room, Jinyoung sighed and followed after him, knowing that it was useless to argue, Seokjin could be stubborn when he made up his mind.

Namjoon’s day wasn’t going how he’d planned it at all, he was supposed to drop Yoongi off at school and then run some errands before meeting with the real estate agent, simple. but now he’s accompanied not only Jimin and Taehyung but also his sister.

Geong min had called him and said she had just landed “Aish Min-ah, you called me last night, why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?” was his initial reaction but then he offered to pick her up from the airport

“did I surprise you?" is the first thing she says when she gets in the car

"you definitely did" he grumbles as she squeezes him into a hug, he laughs in response before turning around in her seat to look at the tiny passengers

“hi!"

“hello" the twins waved at her shyly, Jiminie had shrunk in his seat and Taehyungie's eyes were wide and alert

"you're Jiminie and Taehyungie, right?" his sister asks with a smile "oppa told me so much about you guys"

"I'm Geong min but you can call me noona or Min-ah"

"you're pretty" spoke barely above a whisper

"and you two are even cuter in person, oppa showed me your pictures" his sister cooed

"really?" Taehyung asked

"yeah, the ones with the animals" Can you blame him though? The pictures they took that they were too adorable not to share, but him and Seokjin both agree that they don't want to over share about their family lives on social media, as common as it was these days, but he could share the pics with his sister, right?

"I remember the cute animals!" the taller twin smiled

"it was fun!" Jiminie added with a nod

Namjoon lets them talk for a bit, his sister was as happy and excited as the twins were to get to know each other, before asking the question that had been eating him away "are you going to tell me why you're here? Is everything okay?" he asked in a hushed voice when the twins munched on the snacks Seokjin had on the bang he handed to him along with the kids

“oppa, I got a job offer from Kirkland & Ellis!" Geong min beamed

"What? Really?" his eyes widen and a smile tugged on in the corners of his lips, overwhelmed with pride “Min-ah, that's amazing!"

"I know! I have a meeting there tomorrow but they said its pretty much settled, if I take the offer and sign the contract, I can start next week-"

"are you going to take it? are you moving back here?" he asked anxious, he wanted his sister here, but he also wanted her to make her own decisions

“I guess? I like Philadelphia and I made so many friends here and I'd have to move to the other side of the country--again... But I miss you and Yoongi so much and this is such a good opportunity, this is one of the biggest law firms in the country! so yeah I think I’m going to take the offer” he held back a chuckle, she ran her hands through her shoulder length hair as her words tried to keep up with her thoughts “I know I’m being impulsive and it seems rushed and out of nowhere, I’d have to move all my stuff here and find a place but-”

"you can stay with us, until you find a place" he said with an easy shrug "this move won't be as bad as going away to college all on your own, oppa will be here to help you"

"Yeah, you're right!" she nodded, excitement blooming in her voice “I'm going to do it, I'll take the offer! Yay!"

“yay!" the twins cheered from the back seat mimicking her, the adults laughed as the twins giggled while they continued to stuff their mouths with homemade mini muffins.

When they finally arrived at the last property, the twins were already tired, Namjoon thought he was going to have to carry both of them at the same time but luckily Jimin asked to be carried by Geong min instead and Namjoon wasn't jealous at all, at least he still had his buddy, Taehyung “Wow!” the little boy gaped when they walked to the front door where the agent awaited

"this is a cool house, isn't it?" he smiled, this house was on the higher end of his budget and was perhaps a little too big for him and Yoongi, but the realtor, Susan, had insisted on showing him this place in particular, saying it was a bargain and that it could be a good investment if he decided to buy it

“yeah!” the boy nodded after lifting his head from the man's shoulder where it had been resting, exhaustion now completely replaced by curiosity and excitement as they entered the home.

"as you can see this house is very open and bright but still has a very cozy homey feeling to it, it's definitely not a party house but it's good for entertaining but it's built with family in mind" the woman explains as they walk through the first floor "on the main house, we have 5 bedrooms, 3 1/2 bathrooms and a 3 car garage" she says leading them through the open space "On this floor we have an open plan kitchen, living room and dining room, an office, a guest bathroom and laundry room"

"wow" his sister simply says looking around, she'd been awfully quiet for a change

"look at that kitchen! It's huge" Namjoon was truly in awe, it was even bigger than Seokjin’s home kitchen

“We have state of the art appliances, a walk in pantry and a wine cellar" Susan said walking towards each door and opening them to take a look inside and yeah, this Kitchen had everything, the only thing it was missing was a chef to put it to good use

"daddy can cook here!" Jiminie clapped his little hands with a smile, as Geong min sat him down on the marble island

"a fireplace!" Taehyung exclaimed pointing over Namjoon's shoulder

"that's right, Santa come right down to the living room if you move in here" the real estate agent cooed at the boy

"Santa doesn't buy our gifts, daddy does" Jimin said shaking his head with a sassy little smirk, very similar to his father's

"that's why we have to be good and nice to daddy!" Taehyung smiled at the woman

"oh no I- I'm not-" Namjoon shook his head when she raised an eyebrow at him but then sighed "let's just keep going"

"shall we move upstairs?" Susan asked after clearing her throat and leading the back to the double staircase on the foyer "upstairs we have the bedrooms, on this side we have the master bedroom, complete with his and hers walk in closets that you can access from the bathroom" the master bedroom alone was almost as big as the house he grew up in but he could see himself waking up here every morning, in a soft and warm bed with his arms wrapped around--"you have a great view of the property and because you have a whole wing for yourself, you'd have complete privacy" the woman’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, he nodded dumbly as they moved on "On this other side we have the rest of the rooms, four bedrooms and two bathrooms" the rooms were all the same size, their closets were spacious and the bathrooms were similar too, except one had a bathtub and the other one a shower, they did a quick tour before heading back to down and outside

"down, please, down!" Taehyung squirmed in his hold, the moment his feet touched the ground he began running around the yard

"me too!" Jimin whined "thanks noona!" he called over his shoulder as he rushed to catch up with his brother

"go on, I'll keep an eye on them" his sister waved him off to follow the woman

"by the pool, we have a guest house, completely independent from the main house, with its own bathroom and, you're going to love this, doubles as a recording studio"

"What? Really?" Namjoon gasped walking inside, the place even had a recording booth, with a glass panel looking out to the main space, he could envision the place all set up with his gear

"the previous owner had it soundproofed" she explained

"wow" was all he could say, talk about a dream home, he stayed there for a second longer, taking it all in as he walked back out "if you head down here we have more land, that the owner planned to turn it into a tennis court" she said stopping at the top of the steep stairs, apparently this is as far as her heels allowed her to go "but if you leave it as it is, it could be a beautiful garden, it already has some wonderful fruit trees as you can see and you'll have plenty of room for the kids to run around" he looked down at where Taehyung and Jimin had teamed up to chase his sister, was he really going to do this? No, it's too crazy…but Namjoon thinks, its crazier not to.

-

The meeting is tortuously long, they go through numbers one last time with the publisher, they show him the estimated profits and possible earnings, this will Seokjin biggest book release to this date, just in time for the holidays and they all assure him he has another best seller in hands.

Then they settle on reviewers, websites, media outlets to work with, even pick out outfits with the publicist before taking one last look at the manuscript with the production editor, the final draft of the manuscript is already edited, designed, proofread, and ready to be printed, everything is on schedule, with very minimal delays. The final result is beautiful, with eye-catching designs and amazing photography, recipes he knows families across the world will enjoy together and a very concise guide for anyone that is new to cooking and tips and tricks for new parents.

Seokjin is very proud of this book, he’s proud of every single of his books, he always pours his heart and soul into them but this one specially, has a very special place in his heart, cooking with Namjoon for the kids reminded him of why he became a chef in the first place. 

Seokjin walks out of the meeting with a small smile in his face and a copy of the manuscript under his arm, he picks up Yoongi and Hoseok from school and head to Namjoon’s apartment. When he first met him Yoongi wasn’t much of a talker, but nowadays the little boy can be quite boisterous, especially when school is over “we’re finally home!” Yoongi ran straight into the apartment after his father opened the door for them, dropping his backpack by Namjoon’s feet

“good to see you too!” Namjoon calls after him before stepping aside to let Seokjin, Hoseok and Jungkook inside “come in”

“hi” Hoseok greets after he attaches himself to his leg

“hey buddy” the man pats the boy’s soft hair with a smile “how was school?”

“I got to feed the hamster today and miss Truby said the painting I did today was really pretty and- hyung and I made up a new game-” while his son ran his mouth at the speed of light Seokjin, with his youngest in arms, looked around the apartment in search of the twins “we have to teach Jiminie and Tae how to play, oh- where are they?” Hoseok asked tilting his head

“they’re taking a nap” Namjoon said moving towards Seokjin with Hobi still attached to his leg

“were they good? Did they give you any trouble?” he asked concerned but the taller man simply waved him off

“They were great- but we had a bit of a change of plans, I had to go to the airport to pick up my-”

“Yoongles!” a female voice echoed throughout the apartment, it brought a strange feeling in Seokjin, he felt a pang of something very similar to jealously, disappointment but also shame, who did he think he is? He’s not allowed to feel jealous, but still he arches an eyebrow at Namjoon and tries hard not to pout

“t-that’s my sister” the taller man tells him and Seokjin feels like the dumbest person alive when a young girl sporting shoulder length hair and a dimpled smile, makes her way towards them holding Yoongi tightly

“Gomo, stop!” the little boy scrunches his nose and tries to release himself

“Min-ah, this is Kim Seokjin” Namjoon introduces them “hyung, this is my sister, Geon Min”

“hi, nice to meet you” the chef says bowing as best as he can with his baby still in his arms

“Seokjin-ssi, it’s so nice to meet you” the young woman bows and Yoongi takes the opportunity to scape

“hi, I’m Hoseok” Seokjin’s oldest approaches to bow

“hey! Are you Yoongi’s best friend?” Geon Min asks lowering herself to his level

“yup! I’m his bestest friend in the entire world” the boy nods proudly then point at his youngest sibling “and this is my baby brother Jungkook, isn’t he the cutest?”

“he is!”

“Hobi, let’s go play in my room” Yoongi calls him now far from his aunt’s reach

“coming hyung!” the boy dashes towards his friend

“we’ll call you when dinner is ready!”

Namjoon insisted on taking care of dinner by himself, the twins were up by now, playing with Yoongi and Hoseok, Seokjin sat in the living room with Geon min, she was charismatic, charming and very smart, just like her brother but unlike him, she knew Seokjin’s work beforehand “my mom had all your cooking books, I stole her copy of ‘Kim’s kitchen’ when I went to college and it saved me from having ramyum everyday”

“what’s wrong with that?” Namjoon peeped out from the kitchen

“so many things Namjoon-ah” Seokjin chuckled as the man approached “do you need help?”

“uh yeah…” the man stood by his feet, a spatula on his hand and wearing the pink apron Seokjin gifted him, with flour on his face “the bacon is a bit scary, I always burn myself”

“alright, let me help you with that” Seokjin couldn’t help but to smile, how can a grown man be so adorable? He stood up and immediately Geon min extended her arms to take Jungkook, Seokjin figured he had at least five minutes to help Namjoon before the baby started to cry “come on”

Seokjin grabbed the cast iron pan and the bacon from the counter and began to lay the bacon strips on the pan “next time you’re making this much bacon you can use the oven”

“oh” Namjoon blinked before nodding his head

“make sure to keep flipping them and moving the middle pieces to the side” he continued explaining everything to Namjoon as he turned on the stove on low heat

“the grease won’t splatter when I move them?” the man asked still keeping his distance

“it won’t”

“are you sure?” the younger asked and Seokjin sighed “I don’t want to burn myself again, hyung”

“Namjoon-ah! Come here” he beckoned but Namjoon only shook his head “come see for yourself” he said grabbing the man’s hand and pulling him towards the stove “you can use me as your shield” he said standing in front of Namjoon and handing over the tongs

“o-okay…” his spoke softly next to his eat, Seokjin suppressed a shudder after feeling the man’s hot breath in his neck, sliding his hand around him to move the bacon “if I burn my hand-”

“you won’t” snorted as he watched Namjoon’s trembling hand attempting to turn the first piece “there you go! Now do the next, what are we having for dinner anyways?”

“breakfast” the word, brought back the memories of his dream, he froze and looked down at his hand, stared at his wedding ring for a moment as Namjoon continued “I love American breakfast foods, so I thought we could have them for dinner”

“that’s great” he said numbly before pulling away, Namjoon gave him a confused look and he shrugged “see? You’re safe” Seokjin bit his lip and looked down at the ground, allowing the silence between them to extend for longer than necessary, he’d been so distracted with everything, with Namjoon, that he forgot what he actually came here for today, to put an end to all this.

“hyung, I’ve been meaning to talk to you…” Namjoon breaks the silence as he continues to work on the bacon

“oh, me too actually” he says trying to sound casual

“really?”

“yeah and I think I should go first” Seokjin says folding his hands over his chest  

“oh… okay” Namjoon removes the stove from the pan to give him his full attention

“the book is done” he says bluntly “so I don’t need your help anymore, all the recipes we tested were approved and made it into the final draft, isn’t that great?”

“it is” the man nods slowly

“I really appreciate everything you’ve done” Seokjin continues, because he can’t stop now “it was nice working with you”

“yeah… working, wait- hyung” Namjoon frowns, eyebrows scrunched as he tries to meet his gaze “you’re making it sound like we won’t be seeing each other again”

“im sure we will, at school and if the kids want to have playdates” he shrugs looking away “but other than that, we have to reason to-” Namjoon remains quiet and he can’t stop the jumble of words coming out of his mouth “I’ll go on my book tour and next year I’ll be even busier, that’s just how my life is, all this time we’ve been spending together? I wasn’t real, this isn’t real”

“Okay” Namjoon lowered his gaze and nodded his head but says nothing more and that makes Seokjin want to continue talking but before he can say anything the kitchen door opens and Geon min comes inside with a crying Jungkook in arms.  Seokjin consoles his child as he wishes someone would console him, but he brought this upon himself and now it was time to put up with the pain and move on to the next thing, like he’d been doing throughout his life. They both acted normal during dinner, focusing their attention on the kids and Geon Min, by the end of it he said goodbye to her and Yoongi, Namjoon walked him to his car and bid him farewell with a quiet “good luck”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, idk what I'm doing anymore with this story and with life in general lol anyways, amigos find me on twitter @alithelioness


	16. Chapter 16

After putting Yoongi to bed and loading up the dishwasher Namjoon flopped himself down on the couch, walking to his room, showering and changing to his pajamas seemed like too much of a challenge right now, he wanted to melt into the cushions and be absorbed my them, be one with the couch, for the rest of his life, or at least until tomorrow morning. He was more than ready to do that but then his sister was standing beside the couch clearing her throat, right, she was supposed to crash on here.

“you have my bed tonight” he mumbled, face pressed against the velvety pillows

“uh, no” she said kicking his leg with her socked foot “you’ll hurt our back, old man”

“that’s fine” he groans out and she snorts before sitting beside him, they stay in precious silence for a moment but Namjoon can hear her sisters mind racing with questions, questions he doesn’t really feel like answering.

"So… you didn't tell me things with Seokjin were that serious" she asks breaking the peace and quiet, he turns his head and blinks a couple of times, Geon min rolls her eyes and crosses her arms "when were you planning on telling me? When you two were married and had moved into your dream home?”

"you... Knew I like him- men?"

“yes oppa, I've known for a while" she sighs, arms still crossed as he sits up on the couch to face her "I didn't want to pressure you to come out and I didn’t want to be nosy but when you told me about Seokjin, how you were spending all this time with this hot, single, openly gay dad- I mean, could it be more obvious? And now seeing you guys together… well”

“I wasn’t sure before…I was confused and didn’t know for sure-” he explained and she uncrossed her arms, putting her hand on his knee “that’s why I didn’t-”

“I get that, I mean you never introduced us to anyone you’ve dated before-” she says with a soft tone “we assumed that when you found the right person and it was the right time you would and then you would tell us-"

"w-we?” Namjoon asks, and feels his insides turning “Eomma knew?"

“she did and she was more than okay with it” Geon told him meeting his gaze, her eyes are a bit watery and Namjoon tries to ignore the sting in his “I mean there were things she didn't understand but she said she didn't care as long as you were happy and ended up with someone you loved"

"she really said that?”

“yeah, our eomma was pretty great" she shrugs before sniffling

"I should've talked to you about this before but you're my little sister... and eomma, I was too afraid-"

"oppa, nothing you told her would’ve made her love you less…" she told him firmly and Namjoon can’t no longer stand to look at her, he simply nods, fighting back the tears “and we're siblings, I might be younger but we’re meant to look out for each other- especially now that eomma is gone”

“yeah, you’re right” he says and she snorts

“of course I’m right, silly oppa” she says pulling him in for a hug “and, I'm so happy for you and Seokjin-"

"ah- no, Seokjin and I... we’re not-” he says pulling apart despite not wanting to “I thought he might be interested but I- I misread the situation"

"oh no! Oppa it can't be, are you sure?”

 "yeah, he made it pretty clear" he shrugged rubbing his eye with the back of his hand "at least I realized this before making things totally awkward between us…the kids really bonded, you know? and I like having them around, Seokjin too, even if I can't be with him like I wanted to but it's okay, I'll be okay" his sister said nothing more, she simply pulled him back in, to a much longer hug this time, just like he needed.

In the end, he did go to bed. Showered and dressed in his pajamas, he laid on his back and convinced himself that the tears spilling out of his eyes were because he hadn’t blink in a while, he was ready for a restless sleep, deciding that it was time to close his eyes when his bedroom door opened and a small figure tip toed towards his bed “Yoongi?”

“I want to sleep here” the child simply says climbing onto the bed, carefully laying his stuffed kitten by his side before curling up on his father’s side, Namjoon decided to stay with the underlying message in his words and take it as a ‘I want to sleep with you’ instead.

"of course" He said and ran his fingers through Yoongi’s soft hair and finally closing his eyes, thinking that yeah, he’ll be okay, he had to be for his son’s sake.

-

After waking up, Seokjin stared at the ceiling of his hotel room. He’d tossed and turned all night but found it impossible to get comfortable, the bed was much too soft for his liking, lacking the support his back needed and the room was clean but the harsh smell of the cleaning products permeated in the air, making him feel nauseous. This was the third hotel they’d stayed in this week and tonight they would be staying in a different one, maybe this one would be more to his liking. The suite they were staying in did have a tiny kitchen and maybe if they were staying longer he would’ve gotten ingredients to make breakfast but he didn’t really feel like getting up so he’d just order in breakfast again.

The press tour had been going well, the interviews alright, though bit repetitive, they didn’t stay from the list of authorized questions and didn’t try to pry into his personal life, the book broke records sells on its release, it was on high demand for holiday season and they expected another surge on sales by the beginning of the school year.

As they had decided before hand, Seokjin visited his restaurants, truthfully, he’d been neglecting them this few months but he believed the chefs could keep their kitchen’s under control without him there to micromanage every single aspect of the restaurant, but most importantly he trusted Jinyoung. 

If anyone could take charge off all this, it was his assistant, if he could even call him that, his friend went above and beyond his duties to make sure Seokjin’s business running smoothly, so in many ways, he was more like a business partner. Last night Jinyoung had approached him with a business proposition, the opportunity to open yet another restaurant and a few years ago, Seokjin would’ve already been brainstorming names and coming up with concepts but current Seokjin wasn’t sold on the idea, hadn’t he done enough? Didn’t he made enough money already? What else did he need to prove?

He’s aware of how lucky he is to have offers to open restaurants, make Netflix specials and book deal, James bear award nominations and Michelin stars thrown at you but when he was in the academy he never though he would end up like this, Seokjin knows how lucky he is, to be this successful but money and recognition was never his dream to begin with, feels like at some point he’d just allowed Ken to push his own dreams aside and turn them into his own.

Seokjin just wanted to cook, because that’s what he was, a cook. That and to be a father, he didn’t want to be like his father but look at him now in a meeting room talking business and worrying about numbers while someone else watches over his kids, but that’s just how his life is right now.

Later that day, during breakfast, the nanny is changing Jungkook, the twins are practically nodding off in their food and Jinyoung has his laptop open and is going through the emails while he tends to minor crisis.

“Hobi, you have to get dressed now” Seokjin said as keeping his calm, holding the sweater and pants he picked out for his son

“no!” Hoseok sat on the bed, arms crossed over his chest and pout on his lips, still wearing his ‘my little pony’ pajamas “I don’t want to!”

“come on, we’re going to be late” the father said, extending his free hand out to his son

“but daddy!" the child whined loudly as he scooched back on the bed away from his father

“Hobi, we talked about this” Seokjin says firmly, as days went by Hoseok got grumpier and grumpier and more difficult to deal with, especially in the mornings. Today the child had reached his boiling point and demanded, very loudly, to go back home because he wanted to go to school “you're not going back to school till next year, you’ll be on winter break by the time we get back"

"but daddy I want to- I want to go to home” the child actually began to cry, Seokjin knew that the kids hated going to work with him, hated staying with the nanny and being away from their home but he didn’t think Hoseok would miss school that much “I want to go to school and see Yoongi hyung"

"I know you do, but daddy has to work and I have to take you with me” dread filled Seokjin’s heart as he watched the tears pour out of his sons eyes, he hated being the cause of his misery “I can't just leave you…"

"I can go back a-and stay with appa while you work" Hoseok said sniffling as he rubbed his eyes with his sleeves

"Hobi-"

"please? I go to appa, please?”

" oh sweetheart, you know appa is-” the father put the clothes aside and sat on the edge of the bed, lowering his voice "he's in heaven now and I know you miss him but-"

"no! I want my real appa!” he was shocked that Hoseok actually yelled at him so it took him a moment to actually focus on what he’d said "I want him and hyung!"

"Hoseok, don't say that! he's not-" he couldn’t help to snap, making his Hoseok flinch. Seokjin’s ears were burning and his eyes filled with tears, getting mad and raising his voice wouldn’t help at all and he needed to set a good example for his son he took a shaky breath before continuing "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for raising my voice, sweetheart" he apologized as his son sobbed "I'm sorry for yelling and I’m sorry you’re upset about all this” the boy nodded and slowly crawled into his father’s lap

“I’m sorry for yelling, daddy” his son said before burying his face on his chest

“thank you for apologizing” he whispered carding his fingers through his son’s locks

 “I love you, daddy- I just… I just want to go home” whispered back and Seokjin’s heart almost broke at the miserable sound of his voice and yet he completely understood

“Me too”

On the car ride to the airport Seokjin finally had a chance to rest his eyes, after a long and stressful day he envied people that could fall asleep anywhere, he on the other hand was always hyper aware and vigilant of his kids. After Jimin and Taehyung's dispute over a bag of honey twist was settled he thought he could at least have a moment of peace but hadn't closed his eyes for five seconds when his phone started to blow up with notifications.

He groaned internally and reached into his pocket, they were all from Twitter mentions, a couple of them were about the book but most of them linked him to articles, he scrolled past them quickly and stopped when he saw a pictures of him and Namjoon side by side with a headline that read _"Namjoon Kim and Seokjin Kim, The New Korean Power couple?"_ Seokjin opened the provided link and began reading _“_ _Dating rumors sparked after several sightings of the celebrity chef and music producer out and about with their children”_ with his heart in his throat he continued scrolling through the articles, skimming through the headlines _“_ _All Hell Breaks Loose After Dating Rumor Put into Question Namjoon Kim’s Sexuality”_ _Seokjin’s_ grip on his phone was vice and tried to swallow his anger at the invasion of privacy, of Namjoon’s privacy, as he opened the link “ _Earlier this year a store employee tweeted about his encounter with the famous restaurateur, sharing her excitement along with a picture of his autograph, in her tweets she explained that Kim was in company of a tall handsome man._

_The openly gay chef and father of four has faced had criticism and censorship in his birthplace, Korea. Despite this Kim is famous for his activism and involvement in the LGBTQ+ community. Chef Jin lost his husband of eight years to a car crash last year and some fans thought the dating rumors were insensitive towards the widower and his family but many other fans immediately began speculating about the identity of the unknown man that accompanied the chef._

_Later they began theorizing about it being no other than Namjoon Kim, when a small animal rescue organization posted about the visits of the two celebrities thanking them for their generous donations after they visited them with their kids._

_Music producer Namjoon Kim, began his career on the underground hip hop scene, before forming a coalition with Jackson Wang, the award winning duo now produce some of the hottest hits in pop music and work with some of the biggest names in music in the world. The Grammy award winning songwriter is quite secretive about his private life and from the few interviews he’s giving during his career we know that he was born in Korea and raised in America, he has a younger sister and a son but not much else is known about Kim._

_Recently a man that claims to have been romantically involved with the music producer back in high school and even went as far as to post pictures of the two together, a few other sources that claim to know him from college sustain the man’s allegation, this enraged Kim’s fans that the former rapper is being outed without his consent._

_Neither part has yet release a statement to address the rumors and Namjoon Kim hast confirmed or denied any of the allegations.”_

Seokjin wasn’t new to this, the media picking apart his life, he’d been plagued by speculation, rumors and scandals and he couldn’t care less if they fabricated a story about him getting a ton of plastic surgery or a so called ‘beef’ with a fellow chef but he drew the line at his personal relationships. As terrible as his husband was, he never spoke about it publicly and not because they had an image to maintain as Jae Hwan had said but because he didn’t want to make the father of his kids look like a villain, he never spoke about his parents’ either because they we’re still his family. Seokjin was very protective of his family and friends so to have the media target one of the most important people of his life had him fuming.

“Jinyoung, did you see this?” he asked holding out his phone to his assistant, who had begun nodding off on the sit next to him

“what hyung?”

“this, look at this” he said pressing his phone into his friend’s hand, the younger man gasped and covered his mouth with his free hand as he scrolled down “how can they do this to Namjoon? He isn’t even out yet, ugh! I swear these Americans are-”

“hyung-  calm down” Jinyoung said barely above a whisper and handing him his phone back, Seokjin took a deep breath when he saw the kids and the nanny looking at him with wide eyes from the back seats

“we have to do something; this is all my fault” Seokjin could felt his chest tightening up and his throat closing as the car pulled over at the drop off zone “I could say something on an interview or tweet something and-”

“and Namjoon can do the same” the assistant said grabbing his bag and sliding the car door open “hyung, we’re about to board a plane, we can worry about it when we land”

“Fine” Seokjin said grabbing his own bag and coat, as everyone got out of the car, he felt like everyone’s eyes were on him and he felt guilty for the damage his company had caused to Namjoon’s image and he wished he could shield his kids and himself from the public, he didn’t want to ruin anyone else’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally no one:  
> Me to this story: I’M NOT GIVING UP ON YOU


	17. Chapter 17

Seokjin opened the door, Jungkook in his arms, holding tightly onto his father's neck

"morning hyung" Jinyoung greets lifting the coffee carrier tray and paper bag filled with bagels brought for breakfast, his eyes widen when he takes in Seokjin’s appearance, his eyes puffy and red rimmed, the circles under the dark, his face pale missing his usual rosy cheeks

"Hi, come in" Seokjin says low as he rubs his son's back soothingly "my baby is a little sick"

"oh poor Kookie" the assistant cooed as they walked towards the small dining area of the suite, the child seemed a little upset but his father seemed to be in worse condition "do you need me to go to drugstore?" he asks as he sets the coffee and bag on the table next to Seokjin’s makeup bag and mirror

"no, he threw up a couple of times earlier but he doesn't have a fever and he's been drinking plenty of liquids and keeping them down" Seokjin sits down with a grunt and shifts Jungkook in to lay on his chest "he's just grumpy from the lack of sleep, me too honestly"

"coffee?" the assistant hands over his cup and placing a bagel front of Seokjin, hoping to finally see him ingesting some food but Seokjin completely ignores the bagel and goes straight for the drink

"thanks" he says immediately taking a long sip before opening his makeup bag with his free hand and taking out his cosmetics

"no problem hyung" the younger one says, pulling out his laptop "have you checked Twitter?" Jinyoung asks as Seokjin begins applying foundation "Namjoon did an interview, I think you should watch it hyung its-" his bosses’ phone rings and he scrambles to pick it up before the loud ringtone can wake up the rest of the kids

“Suyeon-ssi, are you coming over soon? We’re leaving in an hour and Jungkookie is sick-” the father asks desperation obvious in his tone, he needed to get ready for the long day filled with interviews, book signs and meetings he had ahead, they had a tight schedule they had to adhere to if they didn’t want to miss their flight back home  and for that, they needed the nanny here ASAP “oh…” Seokjin shoulders immediately drop “no, it’s okay, I understand” the chef says, keeping his tone neutral but his body language shows that nothing is okay “don’t worry, please rest as much as possible and call if you need anything”  he says before ending the call, he then turns to his assistant carelessly tossing his phone on the table “she’s sick too” Seokjin says and Jinyoung swears he looks like he’s about to cry and that’s how the last day of the tour began.

-

Namjoon sat down on the couch after greeting the host and the staff, one of them smiling handing him some headphones and adjusted the mic to his height. The interview was about to start, there was no turning back now, not that he wanted to. He thought long and hard about this, about how to address the rumors and handle the situation and eventually decided on this. He knew and respected the host of the show and they had discussed the topic beforehand, Namjoon knew exactly what he wanted to say and was ready to finally get it off his chest, but still, he was nervous. All these years he’d avoided things like this, he’s given a couple interviews, he’s been to this show before with Jackson, some music magazines and a few short red carpet interviews, when he actually went to the events he was invites to for the sake of networking. But today Namjoon had agreed to openly address the rumors surrounding his personal life and that, was way more intimidating than any billboard magazine interview if you ask him.

“you are tuning into the ‘Live to the Max’ show, I’m your host Max, keeping the promise I made yesterday, I have here with me, the one and only Namjoon Kim” The man talked into the microphone and smiled to the camera to his right, the show was aired on the radio but they also posted clips online “welcome back to the sir”

“good to be here for a second time” Namjoon said giving a little wave to the camera

“okay man, there’s so many other questions I would like to ask you” Max settled into his chair and adjusted his headphones “you don’t do interviews that often so I feel like I have to make the most out this one, because lord knows when we’ll get another one from you” he jokes and Namjoon can't help but to laugh out loud

“if it was up to Jackson we’d be here every week” he shrugs and the man nods his head with a chuckle

“our man, Jackson Wang” the host clarified to the audience “he’s not only a mutual friend that introduced us many years ago but he’s also the other half of the very successful producing team”

“that’s right” Namjoon nodded, feeling more at ease, he had no reason to be nervous around the familiar face “he’s also a good talker”

“such a good talker, you on the other hand…”  the man teased Namjoon snorts before nodding his head

“I’ll try best; I swear” he promises and the host laughs

“I’m just clowning him by the way, don’t want your hard stans to come after me” the host says raising both hands with a smile “so let’s get this out of the way first, the question everyone is expecting me to ask you”

“shoot” Namjoon says, he's ready

“the rumors spreading like wildfire on that bird app” Max says, rearranging his stack of papers “would you care to address them?”

“yeah man” Namjoon says as calmly as he can, while on the inside his heart races, no longer with fear but with anticipation “well, first of all I would like to say that I’m very much single and… I’m gay”

“it’s crazy to hear you say it up front like that, as someone that has known you for years” the man says thoughtfully keeping his gaze on Namjoon as he continues “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about your personal life, I barely met your son once, cute little guy by the way-”

“he is” Namjoon can't help but to beam with pride

“but you are also a public figure, very active on your social media but you’re very closed off when it comes to your personal life” Max turns his head to the side, an invitation to elaborate

“right, I always played it off as ‘there are more important things to talk about than who I’m dating’" Namjoon tells him" which is true-"

“right and I mean I respect that but I wanna know what changed that? Were the rumors part of the reason?” He inquires further

“well, recently I realized I was lying by omission, just letting people assume I’m straight because I have a son” Namjoon says switching between looking at the camera and into the host's eyes as he gets more into detail, he doesn't really care what he looks like at the moment but he wants to make sure people feel his sincerity “but also a way to avoid thinking about it, because I wasn’t ready to honest with myself but I don’t ever want to lie to my son like I do to myself, I want to be transparent with him- he’s growing up so fast and he’s getting smarter by the day, so I just had to tell him ‘I’m gay’ and he- he doesn’t care at all” he lets out a chuckle even as he starts tearing up when he thinks back on the conversation he had with his son not too long ago “I don't know why I thought he would, I mean my best friend, who’s Yoongi’s known since birth, is engaged to a man!”

“congratulations by the way, Jackson, Im still waiting for my wedding invitation!” the man joked and Namjoon was grateful the tension release “so to him, to your son, it must be the most normal thing in the world”

“yeah, I felt like I had to tell him and I felt so good after telling him that, like he could finally be proud of his dad, because his dad is no longer ashamed of himself” Namjoon told him with a euphoric smile

“What made you want to open up all of a sudden? why do it now?”

“because, I had to tell him first"

“I get that” the man nods with an easy smile

“I always wanted to be a dad and he’s the most important person in my life but life is messy so and difficult to explain to a little boy, so there are things I have to discuss with him first, before I could tell the rest of the world” the host nods along as he speaks truly gripping every one of his words and Namjoon feels free, now that he's said everything he's been keeping inside

“we’re all here with you, rooting for you, sending you love” Max said, sincerity pouring out of his voice accompanied by some nods by his staff “so do you man, be proud”  

“thank you so much” and as much as Namjoon wanted to avoid crying in public he still ended up wiping away a few stray tears

“sorry, I have to ask but you and chef Jin? What’s the deal? What’s the scoop?”

“we’re not dating, like I said, I’m single” Namjoon sighs

“so all the sightings of you two together?” Max asks turning his head to the side

“well our kids are friends and worked on his book together” he explains further, peaking the other man’s interest

“really? But you know nothing about cooking” Namjoon simply shrugs, as funny as is sounds to anyone that knew him, he’d seen the manuscript his name is actually listed as one of the collaborators on Seokjin’s book

“well, I do now” he says because it’s true, he’s no chef but he can actually cook

“what was it like? Working with him?”

“oh it was a great experience, before I could barely scramble an egg but now I can actually make like a proper meal for me and my son” he tells him with a chuckle

“wow”

“but he still thinks, Seokjin’s food is better” Namjoon ads gaining a hearty laugh from the man

“everyone’s a critic” he says shaking his head

“exactly” Namjoon laughs but the sighs “but also, Seokjin has four kids, he knows exactly what like and don’t and how to get them to eat healthy food"

"so you also got some parenting tips?" he shrugs as his mind fills with all the wonderful things he can say about Seokjin

"he's such a good father, you know? And you can tell how good of a parent someone is just looking at their kids and those boys are the sweetest, most polite children I've ever met and I learned a lot, just by watching him interact with our- his kids and mine" Namjoon can't help but to rant about them, he'd planned to keep his statement short and simple but his heart is open and he simply can't keep his love from pouring out, thankfully Max can see that he's derailing from the point of the interview and tugs him back in the right direction

“his new book is everywhere and I don’t have any kids but I might pick up a copy for myself” The host says, saving him from himself “so, worked on the book together to test out the recipes -”

“right” says clearing his throat

“and your kids are friends, but that’s it?” He asks to reiterate the point

“that’s it” Namjoon nods, he's heart's still a little sore from the blow he took when Seokjin told him, that what they had before wasn't real, it doesn't hurt as much as it did that night and maybe it was the couple of weeks he'd gone with seeing or contacting the other man or maybe he got used to the pain by now

“so, you’re single and shall we say, ready to mingle?” the radio host asked raising and eyebrow at him

 “I guess” Namjoon shrugged and tried to keep the upbeat facade and the blush off his face “I’m just enjoying living my truth”

“well, I’m happy for you man” Max said picking up his stack of papers once again

“thank you so much” he nods filled with gratitude but at the same time, he can feel his face burning and hopes the camera doesn't pick it up, thankfully Max is quick to move to the next subject

“so tell us, what else have you been up to?” He asks leaning back on his chair

“well, I’m always working on music, always writing, messing around with some beats and trying out new stuff” Namjoon admits a little more relaxed that they've moved to a more comfortable subject “but lately, I’ve been coming up with songs that I don’t want to give out to anyone else, because they’re mine, you know?”

“so… should we be on the lookout for new music from RM?”  Max told Namjoon countless times how much he liked the mixtape he released back in college, so he's not surprised by his curiosity

Namjoon thought he'd left his alter ego behind for good, to focus on producing and songwriting but he's on a better place now. He doesn't have struggle to survive anymore, he’s doing well now and has enough time to delve into a passion project so... “Yeah man, I think so... I mean life is so different now from when I released my first mixtapes, I’ve changed and grown so much and I just feel like I so much to say after all these years”

“you heard it here first guys, RM’s new album coming up!”

Namjoon finds the host's excitement a bit amusing

“okay, maybe there’s not that much to say-” ha says laughing

“but maybe there’s enough for an LP?” the man questions and Namjoon relents

“maybe, we’ll see but you can expect something from me for sure” why not? He decides to do it, release some music as a way to thank the loyal fans that had been there from the beginning, if he can bring them a bit of happiness, then it's the least he can do

“and I’m so glad to hear that man, I’m a huge fan of your work” Max tells excitement obvious in his face “everything you guys put out is fire”

“we’re a good team” he says because it's true, he wouldn't be here without Jackson and he likes to think that Jackson needs him if only to have someone to tease

“you sure are, but I also loved your underground work” Namjoon respects this man's genuine love and appreciation for music, that's the reason he chose him to do the interview, he knew that he actually cared about the music and wasn't trying to get the juiciest gossip “I met you as RM and I look forward to hearing him spit fire once again” Max says before sighing contently “well, Namjoon Kim, RM, as always it was a pleasure talking to you”

“the pleasure was mine, thanks for having me sir” Namjoon bows his head, a habit that dispute all his years in America he can't leave behind

“no, thank you for coming and I wish you all the best and come back more often man, we all love having you here” the host doesn’t miss his chance to extend an open invitation and for the first time Namjoon is not afraid to accept it

“I will, thank you all so much”

“anytime dude” Max says before the two turn to the camera to wrap up the show “and that’s all the time we have for today, tune in next week for more new, music and one on one talks with the movers and the shakers” the man says and Namjoon simply waves with a smile displaying his dimples one last time before the interview ends.

-

Seokjin closed his laptop, when the video ended.  It was 3am and without the glow from the screen his room was submerged in complete darkness, he wiped the tears out of his eyes with his sweater paws before setting the laptop side, the tears kept falling, he still couldn’t sleep because and he still felt homesick and lonely.

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand but decided that a simple text or a call wouldn’t be enough to fix his mistakes, so he got up and marched to his office, he grabbed a pen and a copy of his book before he sat down on his desk and began writing on the endpaper. After watching Namjoon’s interview he realized what he was actually missing, it wasn’t his house or his bed, it was his home, it was Namjoon and Yoongi.


	18. Chapter 18

Jackson was happy to see how excited Jinyoung was when he came home to see that their wedding invitations were ready to be sent out, they would mail a few of them out to their family and friends in China and Korea but Jinyoung wanted to personally hand them over to a few special people and the first one was of course Seokjin.

 planning the wedding wasn’t as stressful as he expected it to be, Seokjin had recommended an amazing wedding planner, the only thing they needed to worry about was making it to destination on time.

It was ridiculously early for a Sunday when they made it to Seokjin’s home, but Jackson didn't mind as long as he got to see his fiancé smile.

The house was peacefully quiet so they figured the kids were still sleeping, they searched for Seokjin in the kitchen but they couldn't find him, surely, he wasn't asleep because he had texted Jinyoung only minutes ago and the French press is filled with freshly made coffee and plates of pastries on the cooling racks ready for their brunch.

“hyung?” Jinyoung calls from the living room, minding his voice as to not wake up the kids but loud enough to be heard on the first floor

“office!” Seokjin calls back from down the hall, it was weird seeing him somewhere other than kitchen, instead the chef was not in his office, surrounded by carefully labeled and stacked boxes, a couple still opened on his desk "good morning guys"

"morning hyung" Jackson greets looking around the room, a few of the boxes were still opened and he could see a few framed pictures inside, pictures of Ken.

He'd met him a couple of times before and well, he didn't like the man at all, sure he was charismatic and handsome, very smart and put together and is Jackson known for being a friendly guy but he could feel a certain coldness and airs of superiority, directed to even the closest people to him and that definitely kept him from getting closer to the man.

He remembers the last time he saw the couple together, he'd been dating Jinyoung for over a year and Seokjin invited them over for dinner. The chef gushed about the kids and showed them the sonogram the surrogate had sent him recently, Jae Hwan seemed to mostly ignore them and children as he ate his dinner, the tension between him and Seokjin was palpable.

Of course Seokjin was devastated when his husband passed away but as harsh as it sounds, he seems to be thriving without him or at least he did, the last time he saw him.

“hyung, what are you doing?” Jinyoung asked, concern obvious in his tone, as his friend takes off his wedding ring and carefully places it inside a tiny velvet box and placing that box inside the larger one, right now, Seokjin looks tired, like he hasn't slept in weeks, paler and thinner than usual but he seems determined to finish whatever he's doing.

“just decluttering, getting rid of some stuff” the chef shrugs as he closes one of the boxes on the desk and reaching for the tape

“but hyung" Jinyoung says grabbing the tape before he can "those are-”

“I know what they are" Seokjin says holding his hand out "and I don't want them around my house"

"but the kids-” Jinyoung protest taking a step back

"Jin-youngie... I'm not throwing them away, I'm just putting them away, if they ever as for them I will gladly give these to them" Seokjin explains calmly “but right now, I need move on with his life and having these around is keeping me stuck in the past, I need you to support me with this"

“alright hyung, if this is what you need” his fiancé says reluctantly handing over the tape

“do you need help moving the boxes?” Jackson asks and Seokjin nods his head with a small smile. He completely agrees with Seokjin, the man needs this and he’s happy to help, even if it’s just by moving a few boxes. The bookshelves in his office now mostly unoccupied, the walls are missing a few pictures and Jae Hwan’s side of the closet is now empty, all his belongings had been carefully packed and stored away in the attic and Jackson is certain that one day, when the kids want to know more about their other father, those boxes will be there, filled with all the things that once belonged to the man, but for now, the empty space left awaits the opportunity to be filled with new family photos, artwork and trophies form the kids, new memories from this new chapter in their life.

And speaking of the kids, it didn’t take long for them to wake up after they had finished moving the boxes, the three eldest ran to greet Jackson with clear excitement, he noticed that the boys kept turning towards the door and hovering over him whenever he got a notification, he could see how their expectation turned into disappointment after as the morning went on, they ate in silence without their usual chatter and giggles.

Jimin’s pouting away after being scolded for being sassier than necessary with his brothers, Taehyung’s intense gaze could burn holes into the table even after they apologized, Hoseok was almost unrecognizable without his signature smile on his lips but still tried to keep the peace between the twins.

Jinyoung and Seokjin were in the middle of a serious discussion after brunch, from where he was standing he’d seen the two friends tearing up and having a moment, so Jackson tried engaging the kids in different games to keep them distracted but they seemed uninterested even as they kicked the ball around the yard but luckily he was capable of buying them enough time, their talk ended with them hugging for moment before they wiping their tears and laughing at each other’s ugly crying face.

When they were leaving, they finally gave Seokjin the invitation and gave Jackson a book, beautifully wrapped in pink silk paper with a blue bow and ask him to give it to Namjoon when he had the chance. Things were weird between those two, suddenly they stopped spending time together but when Namjoon told him that he decided to give an interview, Jackson thought or rather hoped that he was going to publicly admit that he and Seokjin were dating or something but it was the complete opposite. And from what he heard, not from Namjoon of course, because his best friend refused to talk to him about anything unrelated to his upcoming LP, the two hadn’t seen or talked to each other since before Seokjin went on tour, so he figured things had gone sour between the two.

while Jackson couldn’t understand why Seokjin couldn’t just give the book to Namjoon personally he still agreed to give him the present the next time he saw him, he placed the book on the glove compartment of his car before driving away from the gated community. Once they were home, Jackson flopped down on their couch “babe?” he called to Jinyoung, he’d been quiet the whole ride home and was now heading straight to their bedroom, but he stopped and turned to Jackson “what is going on? Are you okay? Is hyung okay? What did he wanted to talk to you about? I know it might be none of my business but I’m just worried about you two” his fiancé sighed and walked around the couch to sit on his lap

“hyung’s okay, at least now he is …” he answered as Jackson wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into his chest “he-he told me about Jae Hwan hyung… that he cheated on him, how he would manipulate him and he how he felt used and trapped- and I mean, I knew they their marriage wasn’t perfect but I just never thought it was that bad” Jinyoung sniffled and pressed his face even closer “I used to defend Jae Hwan hyung, because I looked up to him, you know? I thought he was a good husband and father and that he just wanted to work hard for his family and that he wanted to support him with his career… Jin hyung he never told me the truth- and I never realized- this want what he wanted” when the tears started spilling out Jackson simply held him tighter waiting for him to continue “and now hyung says- he says he’s a little too overwhelmed with the business and that he wants to have more time for the kids- so he wants to make me his business partner” Jackson thought Jinyoung would jump to the opportunity to be Seokjin’s business partner, he deserved it, he’d earned a promotion and was more than capable to assume the role and the trust and respect they had for each other would make them a dream team but right now, the tears that fell from his fiancé  were far from tears of happiness “I just can’t believe I let Seokjin hyung go through all that alone… I’m such a bad friend”

“oh no, babe don’t say that-”

“it’s true-”

“no, it’s not” Jackson told him cupping his face with his hands “you didn’t know then but now you do and I know that you will do anything in your power to help him because that’s the type of friend you are”

“y-yeah… I want to help hyung” Jinyoung says as his fiancé wipes his tears away

“and you can do that” Jackson says giving him a quick peck on the lips “you can handle the business and give him more time to spend with the boys, you know he’s the happiest when he’s with them”

“I hope hyung can find someone that makes him as happy as you make me” Jinyoung says returning the kiss “he deserves it”

“we all deserve that” Jackson says shifting to get more comfortable, he’d be more than happy to spend the rest of this chilly Sunday afternoon just like this, holding the love of his life in his arms. His heart aches as he thinks about his friends, of Seokjin and Namjoon that give all their love to their children but have no one to hold them like this when they need it the most “but some people don’t realize they do” Jackson thinks the answer to their problem is obvious and is tempted to interfere but for now all he can do is give Seokjin’s present to Namjoon.

-

Yoongi thought he’d be happy to go back to how things were before, when appa would take him to the studio with him and he got to see him work, pressing buttons that created the most amazing beats and melodies, scribbling words into a piece of paper that would later became beautiful songs once some stood in front of a mic to record them.

Lately his father had working on his own music, Yoongi had watched him recording with wide eyes, fascinated by how fast the words come out of his father’s mouth and how he could change his voice to express a different feeling with each song. But right now, his appa is simply hunching over his laptop and clicking away while Yoongi sinks deeper into the leather couch. As he stares at the acoustic foam on the roof he realizes he misses school, well not school. He misses Hoseok and not just him, he misses Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook and Seokjin, he misses being with them, that comforting feeling that having the house full of familiar faces gave him, the relief that being together gave him, all seven of them.

Its only him, appa and gomo lately and Yoongi wonders, why they can’t all be together again? so he can laugh with Hoseok, get hugs from Jimin, goof around with Taehyung and help Jungkook take his first steps, why doesn't Seokjin bring them around anymore or invites them to his house? Didn't he like them anymore? Had they done something wrong? Maybe it's his fault, after all his eomma left them after he was born so maybe he was the problem here, maybe she loved his father but not Yoongi and maybe that's the reason Seokjin had stopped spending time with them, it was his fault his appa was so sad and lonely, if his own mother didn't want him, then why would Seokjin?

Yoongi wiped away the wetness that had spilled out of his eyes and sat straight when he heard the door of the studio open, he turned to his appa and luckily the man was too immersed in his work to notice his tears.

Jackson walks into the room with his big smile and an equally big box of doughnuts "hey little man, how are we doing?" he asks and Yoongi simply shrugs, Jackson sighs setting down his stuff and patting his head. Seokjin would do this sometimes, gently run his fingers through his hair, especially when Yoongi wanted watch him cook, sometimes he would even pick him up and let him stir whatever they were cooking that day, he misses that gentle touch, his soft voice as he answered Yoongi's many foods related questions, it's not the same but he finds himself leaning into the touch "do you want to go home?" Jackson asks looking at his father and then back at him, once again he shrugs because he doesn't want to be here right now but he doesn't want to their empty apartment either, new tears begin to form and he looks away from the adult "Namjoon-ah!" Jackson calls a little too loud, Yoongi startles but at least that manages to get his father's attention

"huh?" he removes his headphones before turning around "oh hi"

"hey, I think you should take the day off" them man tells his appa

"What? Why would I-" Yoongi can feel his father's gaze on him but refuses to make eye contact "oh... Okay" he hears a few more clicks and then the laptop closing, meanwhile Jackson grabs a doughnut from the box and offers it to Yoongi

"no thanks" the little boy shakes his head

"take these for later" Jackson says keeping the one doughnut for himself and handing the rest of the box to his Namjoon

“uh... Thanks" his appa says accepting the box after shoving his laptop into his bag meanwhile Yoongi picks his best drawing to give to Jackson

"thanks little man, I love it" the man says accepting the picture of a kitten he drew earlier "I'll keep it right here on my desk"

"grab your stuff buddy” Namjoon says and Yoongi rushes to pack his crayons and to grab his hoodie

“wait” Jackson says pulling some thigs out of his bag “here’s your invitation and Geon Min-ah’s”

“thanks man”

"and hyung asked me to give this to you" when Yoongi finally manages to get his head through, he saw a present wrapped in pink

"great, now I won't have to buy it I guess" Namjoon says after ripping the paper and taking a quick look at it, then he's dropping it inside his bag with along with his headphones "I'll see you around"

"I'll talk to you later" Jackson says clapping his back

"okay, let's go buddy" his appa says holding the door open

"bye!" Yoongi waves to Jackson as they leave the studio, he holds onto his father's hand as they walk to the car and Yoongi can't help but to wonder about the pretty present Seokjin sent his father, Yoongi didn't get to see what could possibly be inside the pink paper

“Yoongi?” the boy blinks a couple of times before looking up at his father, realizing that he hadn’t been listening to him at all “there’s something I need to show you”

The moment he parks the car, Namjoon turns to his son with a smile “this is it” he says and Yoongi tilts his head to the side as he looks out his window, they go inside the house, the boy simply follows his father as they walk around the second floor in complete silence, checking the multiple bedrooms, all of them larger than his, one even has a balcony that looks out to the front yard “I bought this house, for us” Namjoon tells him as they make their way downstairs “so we won’t have to move anymore…what do you think?”

“it’s big and…” Yoongi says, because it’s true the house is even larger than the Seokjin’s but their family is big and they always have people over, they always have dinners and birthday parties and fun but this house is… “empty”

“we’ll get stuff to fill it up with, you can help me pick the furniture” his appa says and Yoongi sighs “I’ll have my own studio here so I can work from home more often and it’s a lot closer to your school” sometimes he wishes his appa could read his mind because saying what saying how he feels out loud it’s hard for Yoongi but maybe then appa would understand him “look, we have a pool and huge garden-”

“but no one to play with” he blurts out and Namjoon’s smile completely drops, this is exactly why he keeps his feelings to himself, he doesn’t ever want to hurt his appa so he immediately tries to fix it

“Yoongi-”

“it’s a nice house appa” he tries looking up at him with a smile, holding his father’s hand “when are we moving?”

“when we get back from the wedding” he replies pulling him closer “I know its soon but our lease is up and gomo was looking for an apartment so I figured she could stay in ours after we move here, she can’t sleep on the couch forever, you know?” Yoongi simply nods along as he looks around the house, their house. He’ll have to get used to that, he wants to show a bit more excitement because he knows it would make his appa very happy, but he’s had a long day and feels much too tired to pretend at the moment, so instead he holds onto his father’s long legs and sighs again “we should go; we have finish packing for the trip and start packing everything else, I guess” luckily his father picks him up in his arms, he knows he’s a little too old for this now but he feels safe up here, in his appa’s hold.

He falls asleep in the car and wakes up on their living room couch to the sound of the front door opening “hi Yoongles, hi oppa!” his aunt calls as Yoongi tries to make of the world around him

“hey gomo” he grumbles from where he’s curled up in the couch with his favorite blanket, Geong Min lean over the back of the couch and kisses the top of his head, Yoongi realizes that there are suitcases opened and almost full of folded clothes, a few empty boxes scattered around the room, so this moving was happening sooner than he thought, he wonders why appa bothered unpacking their stuff if they were going to have to put them back in boxes again and how long will it take appa to unbox their stuff at the new house, maybe he’ll get rid of them just get new stuff

“Min-ah, how was work?” Namjoon asks from where he’s sitting on the ground between the suitcases

“good, but I’m starving” his aunt says dropping her purse on the couch next to him

“Jackson gave us a box of doughnuts, it’s on the counter” appa tells her and Yoongi can hear her running towards the kitchen

“yum!” she calls from the kitchen as she munches on a doughnut “If Jackson oppa wasn’t so madly in love with Jinyoung-ssi I would marry him myself”  

“right…im sure he would love that” Namjoon snorts closing the suitcases and zipping them up

“of course he would, I’m a catch!” his aunt calls and all her racket definitely has Yoongi more awake now, so he sits up and rubs his eyes

“yeah but you’re still the wrong gender” his appa says as he gets up from the ground

“gender is a social construction, oppa” she says, mouth still full of doughnut

“true” his father tilts his head before stretching his arms over his head

“anyways, what are we having for dinner?” gomo asks coming back into the living room

 “I don’t know, could you postmate something- maybe Thai?” his father yawns

“fine…” she says digging out her phone from her purse to order their food

“I need to take a shower” Namjoon tells them before sniffing his sweatshirt “Jackson also gave me your wedding invitation by the way”

“oh can I see it?” Geon Min squeals with excitement

“sure, it’s in my bag” his father says grabbing his phone from the coffee table and once again her aunt is running towards the kitchen

“why do you have so much stuff in here?” she asks, struggling to carry her brother’s bag, she flops down on the couch next to Yoongi, digging around before she finds the envelopes “oh Yoongi, look! Isn’t it pretty? Are you excited for the trip?” He sees the chance and he takes it, he reaches inside his father’s bag and pulls out the Seokjin’s present, the pink paper ripped in one corner and the bow hanging on by a thread “what’s that?” his aunt asks looking up at Namjoon, he looks up from his phone and turns around

“a copy of Seokjin’s book, you can have it if you like” his appa says turning around and heading down the hall

“but this is yours!” she calls, once Yoongi hears his appa’s bedroom door open and close, he removes the paper and runs his hand through the colorful cover of the book “he probably signed it and oh-” he opens the book on his lap and lifts it to get a better look at one of the picture, both of their eyes widen when another envelope falls from inside the book “would you look at that…” Geon Min says grabbing the envelope “it’s a letter from Seokjin-ssi” she whispers and Yoongi reaches for the envelope, maybe he can find the answers to the questions he had there

“can we read it?” he asks; his aunt lifts the envelope above his head before he can grab it

“nope, this is for your appa” she tells Yoongi and he can’t help but to pout as he crosses his arms “but we can read the book if you like”

“okay…” Yoongi relents lifting the book once again, they flip through the pages and he does his best to read a few of the recipes out loud with the help of gomo, later when the food arrives he pretends he doesn’t see her slipping the letter into his appa’s suitcase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Officially added ‘angst’ to the tags, sorry for the unexpected suffering, love you all! (ﾉ´ з `)ノ


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